Share Your Selfie

While for the most part I love Facebook and the ability to connect with people, to be inspired, to learn something new.  There is one thing that bothers me about the platform- it allows people to post and share picture perfect lives that we all know aren’t quite so perfect. With the ability to filter and edit pictures, why should we put the bad stuff out there- air our dirty laundry?

I’m guilty. Sometimes I see someone post a not-so-flattering selfie and I think H-E-L-L-O, you have a smart phone, do a re-take. But it goes far deeper than this.  Facebook allows people to post the best moments in time of their lives and I think that for the everyday Joe, with real life struggles this can cause feelings of jealously, comparison, emptiness, loneliness, isolation and feelings that they are less than.

Over the past few days, I suffered with one of the worst neuralgia attacks I’ve had in a long time, maybe in years. I dealt with relentless stabbing pain in my head that persisted for 12 hours straight with no rest or respite that usually comes with my prescription medicine. I’ve posted about this kind of pain before. It’s the kind of pain when you just lie in bed and cry, you pray to God asking Him to make it stop and you do this over and over again, bartering, holding your breath, hoping for a break. Yet the pain still comes. I finally got some relief almost 24 hours after the pain started by calling my neurologist and asking him to prescribe me an alternate medicine.

I took this photo during a moment of rest and while I was hesitant to share it, I feel it’s important for people to see me. Not just the best me, but me. Broken. Exhausted. Rock bottom. Me.

This picture made me think of a sermon that our Pastor shared on Sunday called “Sick as Our Secrets”, to watch it, click here.

It made me think of friends and family who are suffering silently, not just with illness, but with real life struggles. They might smile on the outside but their insides look and feel like this picture. Broken. Exhausted. Rock Bottom.

They might struggle with addictions or have someone in their family that does. They might be one paycheck away from homelessness. Or their heart is heavy missing a departed loved one or a loved one who is in prison. They might be stuck in a loveless marriage or an abusive one. Maybe they are reeling from a mistake they made, a poor choice and they don’t know how to begin again. Perhaps they’re trying to mend a broken relationship and they don’t know how to make it right. Maybe they ache for a child they lost or they never will have. Or they long to find a place where they belong. 

So much hurt. So much darkness. So much physical and emotional pain. They carry around secrets and every secret weighs them down making it harder and harder to walk through life.

I’ve been there. I’m still here. I’ve dealt with family secrets that almost destroyed me. But I’m still here. Because I trusted someone. I talked to someone. I bared my soul to someone. I took a risk. I told someone I wasn’t perfect. I shared my fears, my inadequacies, my regrets, my pain, my shame. I asked for help. I realized that I was only as sick as my secrets.

Darkness and light cannot exist at the same time.

I heard this song for the first time tonight. It reminded me that God’s love shines brightest during the darkest times.  

Doesn’t matter how deep how dark the night is, keep hoping, keep on shining. And they’ll see his light burning in your heart. And if the road is rough just keep your head up, let the world see what you’re made of. That his love’s alive in your deepest parts.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jb1TTADzf9Y

You are not alone. You are never alone.  Share yourself with someone. Share yourself with Him.

You are not your shame. You are not your pain. You are not your past. 

There is a way out. Hope waits for you. Help is here for you. 

You can shine right where you are. God loves you where you are. Ask Him to meet you where you are.

Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Ask for help. Continue with courage.  

Hugs and Friendship,

Tara