Saturday, June 20, 2020

The Stories We Tell

What if you are on the cusp of a breakthrough but you gave up a little too soon? You stopped short. You quit. You got tired of trying. You stopped believing in your ability to change. But you didn't realize just how close you were to finally changing...

June 2011- June 2020. When I look at this picture I think about how close I was to giving up on my wellness goals.


In March 2011, I started (once again) on a wellness journey. I say once again because I had been trying to lose weight since 2008. I stopped and started Weight Watchers a gazillion times. I started to tell myself that I would never ever lose the weight.

I wondered if there was something medically wrong with me?
Hormones...thyroid...something...anything...because I was doing the work but it wasn't showing on the scale. But really, looking back I was just half-assing it and coming up with excuses. Once I started making small daily consistent changes, that's when the magic started to happen.

Funny enough it was this blog that helped me to stay on track. I decided to blog about my journey to hold myself accountable. Here's my first post. When I read through my first year it occurs to me that I really didn't believe I could do it. Because I had stopped and started so many times, my confidence in my ability to actually reach my goal was low.

What was different this time around is that I focused on my overall health. I told myself that if I did what I needed to do to take care of myself emotionally, physically and spiritually, the weight loss would follow. This mindset has allowed me to maintain a 40+ weight loss for 9 years. Have I had a few fluctuations? Sure, but that's real life.

I wanted to write this post because I know there's someone out there reading this who is afraid to go after a goal, be it weight or otherwise because they've tried before and failed. I get it, as a recovering perfectionist I feel you. Failure sucks. But why not fail forward? Give it a go and if you encounter a setback look at it in a new way. Having a setback means that you are working toward something. See that setback as a fail forward. It's still getting you closer to your goal.

If we tell ourselves the same story over and over again, we'll believe it enough to get stuck. Be aware of how you're talking to yourself and be willing to rewrite that story. I've worked hard on my mental fortitude. I've encountered health issue after health issue in the 9 years since I started this journey. Trigeminal neuralgia. Foot fractures. Neck/shoulder issues. Lyme disease. Chronic pain. I've done PT. Spinal injections. PT. Acupuncture. Prescription Meds. Supplements. Chiropractic. All because taking care of my health and myself is so important to me. Sometimes it feels like setback after setback. They'd all be valid excuses to eat my sorrow, my frustration, my pain and to gain all of that weight back.

But this time around the story I am telling myself is that I am worth the work. That I want to live a healthy lifestyle. To enjoy being active with my family. To grow older and have adventures with my husband. To have enough energy to serve in my community. And at 48 I've come to realize that it wasn't the weight that was holding me back, it was the belief in myself that I could change for good.

You have the power to write a new story.
Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage.

XO,
Tara