Ditch the Diet

Am I the only one, or do you feel like you’re surrounded by people that are on a diet? Maybe it’s still the New Year’s resolution thing, but I swear, between Facebook and chatting with people in person, it’s all I see and hear.

So what’s the deal Tara, why does this bug you so much? Don’t you love how I just had a dialogue with myself? The deal is that the word diet REALLY agitates me. Now I don’t mean to pick on the poor word, maybe it’s the use of the word. When I hear or see people use the word diet, it’s usually associated with:

Deprivation. Oh, I can’t have that, I’m on a diet <insert your guilt here>.

Short Term Thinking. If I can just do this diet for 6 months, I’ll be all set for that wedding, high school reunion, vacation <insert special event here>.

Irrational behavior. I’m on this juice cleanse. I can eat protein only.  Yep, I’m eating those meal bars, they’re super filling. The grapefruit diet, soup diet, cereal diet, frozen foods only diet <insert your diet of choice here>.

Unrealistic expectations. If I stick to this diet, I will lose 7 pounds in one week <insert your disappointment here>.

Does anybody remember Susan Powter from the 90’s? What ever happened to her anyway? Remember her catch phrase? Stop the Insanity! Well do it people, I beg you to Stop the Insanity!

Pretty please on top of cheese… remove the word diet from your vocabulary! Why? Because it implies:

Deprivation.  In case you’re new to the whole feeling deprived thing, it stinks! When we deprive ourselves, we end up eating even more and before we know it, we’ve gained the weight back and maybe then some.  Please find a program, Weight Watchers or otherwise, that teaches you how and what to eat, along with allowing you to occasionally indulge and live your life. It’s a long life! If you don’t want to be in the never ending cycle of deprivation and overindulgence, jump off.

Short Term Thinking. One reason I love being a Lifetime Member of Weight Watchers, is that I’m in this for life. And not in a prison sentence kind of way, in an I can do this for life because it’s maintainable, practical and flexible kind of way. I am making small changes that are achievable for the rest of my days.

Irrational behavior. If it seems too good to be true, most times it is! Those fad diets might produce the results you’re looking for, but let’s think about the word fad. A fad is something that’s temporary. Hmmm…what an interesting coincidence…a fad is temporary…it comes and it goes. And most times, when we follow a fad diet, our weight loss comes and goes.  If you follow a program that teaches you how to make the best choices using real food that you eat in real life, you are going to be able to maintain those choices for the long haul.

Unrealistic expectations.  Although it might seem awesome, you should not expect to lose vast amounts of weight each week. Weight Watchers and other scientific and medically based wellness programs recommend losing .5 to 2 pounds per week.  Slow and steady wins the race.

Remember, the tortoise beats the hare, EVERY SINGLE TIME!

Enough said. J

Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Ask for help. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

Love Letters Part II

For those of you just join reading my blog for the first time, you might be wondering…what kind of blog is this? I thought this was a wellness blog?

And for the most part, it is. Yet some times I just want to write about life and my life experiences, so I do, because I enjoy it.

Some of you might be wondering…is this a “Christian” blog. And while that’s not necessarily my intention, my faith is who I am, it’s not a separate entity or part of me, it is me.

When I write posts like the one here, I take the risk of losing readers and…I make no apologies.

Wellness for me goes beyond the scale. It’s being well mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically.

So, you’ll find a mixed bag of posts here, and I hope you enjoy them. Below is a continuation of my Love Letters post. Take the time to love yourself as God loves you.

Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Ask for help. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

If God was writing a love letter just for you, what would he say?

My dear child,

Let me first start by simply stating- I love you. My love for you is greater than you might ever understand, until we meet someday.

I think that you are incredible. Every time you turn your face to me, I smile.

I created you exactly as I planned. I make no mistakes. You are what I intended. And you are good.

In my eyes, you are perfect.

You are capable of loving greatly, because my heart is yours.

I think that you are amazing. Every time you open your life to me, I smile.

You are worthy and deserving.  

Even when you turn away from me, I love you.

I will always pursue you.

When you think no-one is listening, I hear you.

When you think no-body could possibly understand, I do.

You are different because that’s how I designed you.

Please do not place limits on yourself, for I have created you with many purposes in mind.

I want you to take risks and live your life out loud, in my name.

There will be pain so you might know me.

You are strong and courageous.

When you fall I will catch you.

I love you so much that I gave my only son for you. 

Know that no matter what you do or what you say, you are forgiven.

I’d say I can’t wait to meet you someday, but we’ve already met.

Until then, I love you.

Your loving Father

Love Letters

This past week, lots of people went gaga over Valentine’s Day. I know many-a-Mom who made little goodie bags or got special treats for their kids. The news featured couples tying the knot on this lovely day. Kids (though mine are too old) exchanged paper valentines with their class mates.  Perplexed husbands wandered the stores looking for that special gift while most likely muttering under their breath “stupid Hallmark made up holiday”. Wives (myself included) took a few moments to jot down their sentiments on a card. I ran into people adorned in red and pink clothing coordinated with some heart shaped jewelry (of course). And it seemed that every other commercial was an advertisement for flowers or chocolate. What’s not to love?

How about yourself? Did you give yourself any Valentine’s love?

Valentine’s Day got me thinking about the words we say to ourselves.  I know…I know…I’ve posted before about positive affirmation and what can I say? I’m a big fan. So I thought I’d do a different take on positive affirmation this time around, exploring a love letter that only we can write.  

Imagine for a moment, writing the below note to your child, spouse or friend.

Dear (loved one),

You were just terrible in your (insert activity here) today. I was appalled at your lack of intensity. You said you were trying, but obviously it wasn’t enough. Maybe you should consider giving up? And while I’m at it, you look like heck.  Did you even look in the mirror before you walked out the door? Could you perhaps put a little more effort into it next time? And you know that dream you’ve been holding on to, pluueease…give it a rest. It’s out of your reach. You are not smart enough, ambitious enough or talented enough to achieve it. Plus, there are many people out there that are better than you so, how about just quitting while you’re ahead pal? You’re not good enough and quite frankly you don’t deserve it. I say this all with loving candor.

XOXOXO,

Me

Can you imagine writing this letter to that special someone in your life? I hope not.

Yet, too often, we say those exact words to ourselves.  How many times have you been hard on yourself for your work performance? We compare ourselves to a colleague or maybe our own previous work efforts. We wonder why we didn’t get the promotion or that oh so perfect job we interviewed for. Driving ourselves crazy with the notion that we're not doing what we're supposed to be doing or what we want to be doing. We begin to self-doubt. Our shoulders start to slump, and we think twice before we put ourselves out there again. How about appearance? Who can scrutinize our stray chin hairs, droopy jaw lines, frumpy figures, out of season wardrobes, pointed/round/upturned/freckled noses and not quite-so-right  bodies better than we can? And occasionally, whether subconscious or intentional, we sabotage our dreams.  Somewhere along the line we make up our minds that we don’t have “the stuff”. You know, that magical stuff that others are made of, but not us. 

When we repeat these words over and over to ourselves, we begin to believe them. And for some, the unkind words grow into an ugly reality that they just won’t let themselves break free from.

Why is it that we’re so afraid to love ourselves? Are we afraid we’ll appear over confident, even cocky?

Have you ever been in the presence of someone who truly loves themself? Someone who is comfortable in their own skin? You can feel it when you are with them. It’s in their smile, their posture, their…dare I say…swagger. J I have a few good friends like this and I cherish being with them because their positive energy bounces off them and on to me, and it makes me see myself in a different light.

Take a few minutes right now to write yourself a love letter. It doesn’t have to be lengthy, just a few sentences. It doesn’t have to be poetic, just honest. It doesn’t have to be sugary sweet with a cherry on top.  Take a moment to appreciate one thing about you.  Just ONE thing. C'mon, I know you can come up with something. If God were writing a love letter just for you, what would He say?

Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Ask for help. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

Birthday Cake

Who says you can’t have your cake and eat it too? This past week, we celebrated 3 birthdays; mine, my son’s and my cousin’s. Cake all around! Between the parties and dinners out, I had cheese steak, fries, and cake, cake, cake! And when I got on the scale, I lost a pound.  And did I mention that I lost said pound without exercising? (I’m still on exercise ban healing my broken foot).

If I sound like some infomercial for the latest diet craze, it’s intentional.  

Eat all the junk food you want, don’t exercise and YOU too can lose weight- NOT!

Let me clarify my half-truths.  This week, between the parties and dinners out, I had a half of cheese steak, a half a serving of fries, and two half slices of cake.   And I lost a pound. Even though we had two nights out and one party, I did not use that as an excuse to go off program. I allowed myself to have a few treats and then dialed it in.

Since I posted the Great Confessional, in which I confessed to gaining 2.6 pounds over the holidays, I have lost 3.2 pounds. This is not to say how flipping fantastic I am, it’s to say YOU CAN DO IT TOO!  

Weight Watchers asks us to write down and commit to one small change every week. And you know one of my favorite sayings, small changes lead to big results. This week my small change was pretty major to me. Every year I use my birthday as an excuse to…ah… how do I put this lightly…eat as much cake as I darn well please…and then I get back on track. I order a cake from my favorite bakery, Bakers of Buffington in Downingtown.  Hands down, they have the best vanilla butter cream icing! My saliva glands are in overdrive as I write this. I’d use the icing as hand lotion if I could and then I’d lick my fingers all day long.  During my birthday week, I eat a slice of cake a day…until it’s gone. Sometimes I even share it with my family. ;)

This year, I took a different approach. I feel too healthy to sabotage my hard work, yet I still love cake. Who doesn’t? So I brought home a slice of cake for each person in my family. And boy did I cherish it. I cut the slice in half and had half of it one day, and half of it the next day. My teenage son with a never-ending appetite saw my unfinished half of cake slice in the pantry and said “Mom- are you going to eat that?” Son, you don’t mess with your Momma and cake!!

I am so glad that little by little I have been able to make small changes that have led to a sustainable weight loss AND I still get to enjoy life with family and friends.

What’s one small change that you can commit to this week?

Start right now!!!

Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Ask for help. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

Thumbnails

This weeks’ Weight Watchers meeting topic was Believe It and Achieve It.  Would you agree that it’s easy easier to believe in yourself when things are going well? When you’re succeeding? But what happens when you get stuck? Or bored? Or lost? Or demotivated to continue the journey? What then?

A few many-many years ago, I was in college majoring in art education. Side bar #1: I later changed my major to business. One of my first college art classes was Drawing 101. I was totally psyched to take the class. I enthusiastically bought my supplies, my drawing pad, pencils, various smudging tools and erasers and was on my way. I had been drawing with a passion since, well, since I could hold a crayon.  This was going to be my class. I was going to do my thang! 

After some enlightening tutelage, my Professor, who I shall not name here, gave us our week 1 drawing assignment. It was a still life, a drawing of a few inanimate objects arranged in a composition of our choice. We had a week to complete the drawing. Piece of cake, I thought to myself. I’ve got this assignment in the bag! As we were walking out the door he shouted, make sure you do at least 8 thumbnail sketches.

I chuckled to myself as I walked out of the classroom. Thumbnails…snicker, chuckle, snort…he wants us to do thumbnails. What a waste of time. Thumbnail sketches are small rough sketches to help you design your final drawing. They are intended to help you explore composition, lighting, different techniques and so forth.

The following week I strolled into class with my final drawing. As you might guess, I never bothered to do the thumbnails. I already had my concept in my mind and that’s what I drew. My Professor asked us to hang up our drawings and he’d walk around for our critiques.  Side bar #2: If you’ve never been through a critique in front of a class of your peers, it’s a ball confidence buster.  And much to my chagrin he also asked us to post our thumbnails. Oh snap! I thought as I began to perspire and inwardly panic. I didn’t do the darned thumbnails. Fast forward to the end of the critique, and not only did he blast my work but I got my first “D” on an art project for not doing all of the work. My husband and I were dating at the time and I’m very sure he remembers my many calls to him lamenting about how unfair and terribly mean my Professor was.

When I was reflecting about my weight loss journey, and how I’ve been able to maintain and stay motivated for the long haul, the importance of thumbnails came to mind. So many times people, myself included, want to jump right to the after picture. Wouldn’t it be awesome if we woke up the next morning thin? Ah? Yeah!

Yet the thumbnails are where the magic happens. Our composition begins to change. We re-arrange and re-prioritize our days. We edit and re-edit what we eat until we discover a winning combination that leads to less of us on the scale. And if the first sketch isn’t quite right, we try again. We explore new ways to be active, alone and in groups until we find something that works.  We examine our habits and find new routines.  We squint our eyes and look in the mirror, searching for the person we already know is inside and ever so slowly we see ourselves in a new light.  We draw and we erase. Sometimes we crumple up the paper and sometimes we frame it.  And finally, after days, weeks, months, years of trial and error, we are faced with and end result that fills us with accomplishment and pride.  Suddenly we see a magnificent work of art that only God and hard work could design.   

What I’ve found after being a Weight Watchers member for 16 years is that my work is never done. And I don’t mean that in a “life’s a chore kind of way”. I mean it in a “life’s a gift kind of way”. When I’m bored, or tired, or demotivated or disenchanted, I take a few steps back from the canvas and find a new way to look at the old me. Maybe I need to change my composition or my  technique. Or maybe this time around, I don't need to change at all. Perhaps I just need to see myself in a different light.

Don’t be afraid to try. That’s why God made erasers.

Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Ask for help. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara