So, you’ve gained some or all of the weight back and now you’re
in a funk of epic proportions. This funk might include self-berating talk like “I
knew I would gain it back” or “I always fail” or “I’m just meant to be fat.”
The funk might also include anger. Anger that you lost control. You want to
scream “how did I @#$#@@ get here?!?” It feels like you’re going backwards so
why the hell should you try again. And then you move into pity party land of “this
is too hard” and “I just can’t do this anymore.” You also might be feeling sad
and lost because usually when we gain weight back we’re so ashamed that we
isolate which is the worst thing we can do.
Sometimes I joke with my husband that it would be easier
just to gain the weight back. Because the planning, the prep, and the physical and
mental work that it takes to lose and maintain weight, it’s hard. But as the
quote says “losing weight is hard, being overweight is hard. Choose your hard.”
For me, what’s harder than losing or maintaining my weight is what came with
being overweight. The exhaustion, being out of breath, sleeping all of the
time. Skipping events because my clothing didn’t fit. Weight related medical
complications. Shopping in plus size stores. Depression. For me, that’s the
real hard.
How do we move so quickly from being zoned in and on top of
our game to having absolutely no motivation whatsoever? How do the behaviors
that we thought we had made into solid habits disappear? I wish I could tell
you that I have a magic solution, but I don’t. We can lose the weight, be a
rock star on maintenance for 10 years and then go through a life experience
that has us gaining it all back. That sounds
encouraging, am I right?!? I’m writing this because it’s a reality that many
people, including myself have faced. We find ourselves in the situation
described above and we have a choice to make. The choice is simple. We try
again, or we quit. Ouch! #reallife
If you’re reading this it means that you don’t want to quit.
You don’t want to face the real hard again. But you’re tired. You’re tired of
trying. You’re tired of fighting. You’re not sure being healthy is worth it
anymore. Yet there’s a part of you that doesn’t want to give up, that wants
desperately to get on track and that’s exactly what you need to do. Try again.
Now don’t whine and lament and get pissed off at me for making try again sound
so simple, it’s not. It’s not because life is complicated. Life throws us
illness and family stress and moves and divorces. Life throws us injury and
heartache and money troubles. And when this happens, we need to dig. Dig deeper
than we ever have before.
We need to remember why we started this journey in the first
place. We need to write down our why’s and keep them in front of us. We need to
remember what it felt like to be healthier. And then we dig. Digging means showing up. Digging means doing the work when
we don’t want to. When we’re not motivated. When we want to throw a crying baby
fit because it’s too hard and it’s not fair that some people NEVER have to deal
with being overweight.
Digging means accepting how we feel at this moment. Sitting
with that disappointment, sadness and desperation. Acknowledging that it sucks.
Feeling those hurts and then, letting them go. We cannot hold on to those
feelings. We need to accept them, but we can’t let them fester. Letting them
fester is like having weeds that cloud our minds and leave no room for new
growth.
If you’re still with me, it’s time to get to work. It’s time
to get back to the habits that worked for you. It’s time to reach out for help.
DO NOT do this alone.
It’s time to freaking dig.
Continue with courage. Hugs & friendship,
Tara
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