We all have limits. Some we were born with- physical or
mental limits. Some we were born into- poverty, neglect, abuse.
And some that we place on ourselves- fear, loneliness, isolation, self-doubt, poor health.
Maybe I’m an optimist but I believe that there’s a way that
each and every one of us can choose to live our best life beyond our
limitations. Let’s face it, there’s always somebody who has it better and
somebody who has is worse than our current circumstances.
Having a chronic neurological illness has been a test of my
mental fortitude because very few people ever see me when I’m hurting, only my
closest family and friends. I decided to share this picture because you can
actually see what happens in my body when I have a trigeminal neuralgia attack. You can
see that the vein above my temple is swollen. When my vein swells it pushes on
the trigeminal nerve in my brain and triggers a variety of pain responses from
a swollen face, to numbness, to feeling like bees are stinging me over and over again.
From pain in my teeth and ear, to blurred vision, to feeling like someone is
drilling a nail into my head, to the most severe- the lightning bolts of
punishing pain that shoot through my head until I can barely breathe.
People that don’t know my story ask me how I stay motivated
to maintain my weight loss (43 pounds if you’re new to my blog) and to take the
best care of my health. As a food lover,
addict and emotional eater, it’s not easy. But let me tell you this, I cling to
the moments when I feel well. When I feel energized, positive, emotionally
present, focused, joyous and grateful to be alive like I do in this pic from
Hawaii. Those moments sustain me through the times when I don’t feel so hot.
I choose to live my life with an urgency to be well because
I know that there will be days when my wellness is limited by my illness. If I
know that my illness will already limit me, why on earth would I choose to put
even more limits on myself? Yet almost every day in some way, we do.
- · We don’t believe in our physical aptitude and strength, or our stamina, or our ability to persevere- so we don’t try a new fitness regimen because hey- we’ve failed in the past. Or we get injured or a life event gets in the way and we use it as an excuse to stop and to never restart.
- · We don’t think we’re talented or smart enough. So we don’t apply for the promotion, talk to our bosses about our skills and willingness. We don’t go back to school because someone, maybe even years ago, told us that we weren’t that bright.
- · We don’t believe that we have self-control and discipline, so we succumb to addictions big and small- overspending, overeating, drugs, alcohol, sex. We bury ourselves so deep that we have no idea how we’re going to get out.
- · We don’t understand our worth. Maybe we were raised in an abusive or neglectful household and no-one ever said “I love you” or showed you love in a hurtful way that made you feel like you never wanted to risk your heart again. So we look to other things and people to make us feel valued.
And this is why I work so hard to live my best life beyond
my limits, because I know that I can. Because I have the power to. Because the
control is in my hands. When I went through counseling a few years ago for a
serious life trauma I was going through the counselor reminded me to focus on
what I could control. And so that’s what I do, one small step forward at a
time, one small change at a time. I forge ahead- some days I’m marching and
some days I’m just dragging myself along kicking and screaming, my own worst
enemy. I choose hope and I choose faith and I choose possibility.
What do you choose? Commit to the choice. Ask for help.
Continue with courage.
Hugs and Friendship,
Tara
No comments:
Post a Comment