Cracked Vessel

Ever had one of those days, weeks, months, years- that you KNOW, you ab-so-lute-ly know that God is working in you? Isn’t it crazy to think that you are on the mind and in the heart of our Creator every single hour of every single day? That he’s setting things up and putting people around you to love you, shape you, comfort you, lead you, redirect you and maybe even push you out of your comfort zone? Humbling isn’t it?

This past month has been one of those times for me.  Even today as I was on the treadmill and listening to a new song by the Rhett Walker Band called Vessel, God was working in me.

There’s a crack in this vessel, the fabric is torn.

And the ship is staring down, the barrel of the storm.

When you’re drowning in this water with no place left to go.

Can’t you see that you belong to me?

Check it out on iTunes, it rocks!

Anyway…this song revealed to me something that’s been rattling around in my heart and mind for weeks. Something that’s been nagging at me. Something that’s been building through various interactions with different people that have been placed in my life at just the right time.  

That we’re all cracked vessels, we’re imperfect, we’re broken. We long to be whole, for something or someone to fill us up. We just want to be loved, for who we are, for where we are at this junction in our lives. For us humans this is a tall order, yet God, he’s got this!

The other day, one of my new(er) friends commented on how I’m always so well put together. It made me laugh and made me think about one of my best friends Cathy. Cathy and I worked in the same office together during the time when my neuralgia was at its peak, a very dark time for me. She caught on to the fact that on the days that I really didn’t feel well, I dressed extra nice. Perhaps it was the one thing I could control for the day? Plus, I just like fashion!

It’s important for us to allow others in, to let them see our cracks. To let them know that beyond the surface, we have serious and sometimes not so serious items that are in need of repair. If we don’t open up and talk with each other, we’re going to be sitting in our own messes comparing our cracked lives with the shiny and smooth lives that (we think) surround us or even worse becoming drawn into the allure of (un)reality TV and Hollywood. And when this happens we will never be able to measure up.

• I might be put together on the outside, but on the inside I’m:
• Doubting my abilities at work and at home
• A painful introvert that is nervous in social situations
• Struggling with body image
• Trying to keep up with this thing called life
• Comparing myself to others
• Judging
• Working hard to keep the past in the past
• A perfectionist
• Overly sensitive to what people think or say about me
• An awful cook (not even God can help with this one)

I could go on and on. I have cracks, yet I’m not damaged beyond repair. My cracks add character. They make me who I am. They don’t define me, they refine me.

The beauty of having a relationship with God is that I know I’m good. I know that every crack is intentional. In spite of all of my imperfections, I’m content. He fills my vessel and it’s overflowing with his grace, his love, his peace, his understanding, his forgiveness, his knowledge of me- of who I am- of who he wants me to be.

I encourage you this week to open yourself to God, let him pour into you. Open up to others, pour into them.  Embrace your cracks; know that someday you will be whole. Until then, trust the artist who made you, he makes no mistakes.  He’ll turn our shattered pieces into the most beautiful and remarkable mosaic.

Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Ask for help. Continue with courage.  

Hugs and Friendship,

Tara