So I was chatting with a friend the other day about our ups and downs of weight loss. We have both lost and gained weight many times over the course of our lives. She asked me “what was different this time for you that made you stick with it?” Well, that is a great question…and while I immediately knew the answer, it made me think about all of the times I’ve started and stopped a wellness program.
As we all know, this isn’t my first time at the rodeo. I’ve fallen off the horse until my bruises had bruises. Over all of the bumpy rides, there are two moments that really stand out to me.
#1- Fear of not living. Overweight and depressed in my early twenties, life was passing me by. I was heavy, anxious, tired and missing out on the joy that life can bring. My family and friends were paying the price. I was scared to share the shame I was feeling, embarrassed to ask for help. My wake-up call came when I went through a cancer scare. Not feeling well, I went through a series of tests because my white blood cell count was high. What turned out to be a false cancer alarm became my saving grace. I decided that I was too young to be wasting my life. There is nothing that lights a fire under your ass than the word cancer. That same year, I walked into Weight Watcher’s and dropped 40 pounds.
#2- Fear of not living. Wait you say, that was fear #1. Yes and no. A few years ago, I was given the gift of a second chance. I found a way to manage my neuralgia and chronic pain and all of the sudden joy came back into my life. It was like watching a movie in black and white and all of the sudden it turns to color. And the color is so amazing that you can’t even fully understand and appreciate how incredible it is. I have had some seriously transformational moments in my life, and I can say without a doubt that three years ago, I was born again. I can’t even begin to describe what it feels like when the veil of chronic pain is lifted. It almost felt like I was handicapped and all of the sudden was able to walk again. And from that point on, I just wanted to run. I wanted to run as fast and as hard as I could. I wanted to jump and scream and hoot and holler and carry on because I got my life back.
That’s when I realized I wasn’t living my best life. I started to feel well, but I was not living well. And given this new chance, I wanted to be my best self! So I brushed myself off, re-committed myself to Weight Watcher’s and I dropped the weight. Yet this time around, I gained so much more than I lost, because I set my sights on overall wellness, not just weight loss. I re calibrated my career. I found joy again in serving others. I renewed my commitment to my faith. I revamped my relationships. And I remembered how happy I feel when I am being creative and artistic.
So here I am- living. This rhinestone cowgirl climbed back in the saddle and gave it another go. I’m trotting around that ring, all sparkles and smiles. Wait, why did I just picture Honey Boo-Boo in a cowgirl outfit? Let's face it, most days I'm more like the rodeo clown.
Don’t let life pass you by. Your best ride is ahead, just waiting for you to saddle up.
Ask for help. Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage.
Hugs and friendship,
Tara
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