Late Bloomer

This week I declared to my husband that I want to be in the best shape of my life for our upcoming trip to Hawaii in September. As you can imagine, he didn’t argue. We’ve been married for 21 years and one of the many things I love about my husband is not only that he goes along with, but supports my many whims.

Yet I feel I need to put a disclaimer out there because I’m not about to aim for the body I had when I was 18 (pre-children and gravity). I mean to be in the best physical shape of the mature body I currently have.

Now that my disclaimer is out of the way you might ask, why now? And I will ask, why not?

When I started to list the reasons why I can be and want to be in the best shape of my life, they made sense:

• I have the time. With one young and adult and one almost adult child, I have more time now to focus on me. They’re out and about spreading their wings, I should be too.
• I have the ability. I am healthy! I won’t get into my trigeminal neuralgia that's a whole other story…but overall, I am blessed with the gift of good health. Why not do more to take care of and ensure my longevity?
• I have the drive. Forgive me here a moment as I tell you that I like to exercise. I can feel your angry eyes on me and sense your huffy sighs. I love knowing that when I move my body I’m doing great things for my body, mind and soul.
• I have the knowledge. We live in an information driven society.  From Facebook, YouTube and  the World Wide Web to people I know who are in the wellness industry, my options are endless.

It’s amazing the people I meet who want to take better care of themselves, who have all of the above, who get stuck. And no, I’m not one to judge since I spent many of my adult years overweight. I think that it’s human nature to focus on the reasons why we can’t do something rather than the reasons why we can.

This week I encourage you to focus on what you can do to get well. Make a list, you’ll be surprised at what you’re capable of.

I don’t know about you but I’m tired of the noise in my own mind. Of the negative thoughts and self- doubts that clang about so loudly that they drown out my own possibility. It’s nonsense!

Every day we wake up and draw another breath is a day loaded with possibility!

I’m 44 years old and it’s my time to bloom. How about you?

Commit to the choice. Ask for help. Continue with courage.  

Hugs and Friendship,

Tara

Rut Busters

Over the past few weeks several people have asked me what they can do to break through their weight loss plateaus- so guys and gals- this one’s for you.

The only thing more frustrating than a gain during the weight loss process is the scale being stuck at the same number week after week. I’ve experienced plateaus for weeks, even months and it is maddening! As a former Weight Watchers leader I saw members quit when the scale stopped moving in the right direction. It was the WORST to see people make such progress only to give up, and I totally get it.

Here are a few ways to bust through your rut when the going gets tough.

1- Read the labels. This may seem obvious…however…take a moment to look at more than the fat and calories in the foods you are eating. Food manufacturers are sneaky; they add sugar to low fat and non- fat products to make them taste better. Look for foods that are lower in sugar and higher in fiber. Look at the ingredients, if you can’t read or pronounce them, consider an alternative. The less processed the better. My daughter brought home some veggie chips the other day. They had just as much fat and calories as regular chips and had no added nutritional value, don’t be tricked by business.

2- Patrol your portions. Speaking of labels, are you paying attention to the recommended portion size? When was the last time you weighed or measured your food or beverage? I know, I know- weighing and measuring can be a drag- you don’t have to do it all the time but it’s good to check in every once in a while to see how you measure up (pun intended).  Sometimes those one cup portions slip to one and ½ cups. Those innocent little slips can add up throughout the day and you don’t even know you’re self-sabotaging. If you’re not weighing and measuring your portions, take a week to do so and be honest about how you’re doing.

3- Take a look at your liquid intake. For years I was a Coke drinker, a total waste of calories (but tasted so bubbly and refreshing-aaaah). I weaned myself off of the Coke to water; it took me almost a year. I’m glad I skipped over the diet soda routine. There’s a lot of research showing that the artificial sweeteners in diet drinks can trigger the same sugar craving in the brain that real sugar triggers. Do yourself a favor and ditch the diet drinks. If I can rehab my coke (a-cola) habit, you can too. How’s your water intake? Water’s not only good for our bodies; it’s a great filler too. I drink a bottle of water before social events so I don’t show up ravenous (I eat a healthy snack too). In the evenings if I’m still hungry I’ll drink a bottle of water first. Often I find I’m not hungry, I’m just bored, thirsty, stressed <fill in your blank here>.

4- Shake up your fitness routine. When is the last time you changed up your routine? A while back my husband and I realized we were doing the same 3 mile per hour walk in the evenings. Our bodies became accustomed to that activity.  We made a few changes to shake things up. When we walked the YMCA track, we did the stairs after a few laps. When we walked in the neighborhood, we did curb step ups. Walk for a little while and then turn and face the curb, step up and down for a minute and then continue walking. Sure, your neighbor might think you’re a lunatic, but it’s getting your heart rate up. Some people are reluctant to introduce strength training into their routines because it doesn’t burn as many calories as cardio. However, muscle tissue burns more calories than fat, so pick up a pair of weights and give it a go. Maybe start out by doing some basic strength training during TV commercials? Think about a new activity you can try this week and make sure it’s something you enjoy; you’ll be more inclined to stick with it.  

5- If you bite it, write it. If you drink it, ink it. I must give credit to a former Weight Watchers leader Ann Marie for that clever saying. How many times have you gotten to the end of the day and truly cannot remember what you ate or drank? It happens to me often. My mind is whirling with so many thoughts and “to do’s” I can’t even remember what I had for breakfast. Writing down what we eat and drink, either in paper form or an electronic tracker serves a few purposes. It forces us to take a hard look at what we’re consuming and provides insights into why we did or why we did not lose weight that week. It helps reinforce the good food choices we make while hopefully helping us to think twice about the less than wise choices. Please don’t use time as an excuse to tracking what you’re consuming; it only takes a few minutes a day. I really like to pre-track my entire day in the morning or the night before. When I pre-track I’m more inclined to stay on track and be intentional about my choices.

6- What’s your why? The weight loss journey is long and hard. Like baby fit hard. Like I’m so tired and frustrated I want to throw myself on the floor and have myself a little baby fit hard. Right? It’s important to re-evaluate when we are stuck. What is your why? Why did you start your weight loss journey to begin with? Has your goal changed? Is it even important to you anymore? Why? Does it need to be modified based on your current life circumstance? What will it look and feel like to reach your goal?

Wherever you are in your weight loss journey, I am begging you- DO NOT QUIT!!! You might be stuck but you are one step ahead of the person who quit.

You’ve got this! You are all that and a bag of veggies! This is your story to finish and the ending is going to be amazing!

Commit to the choice. Ask for help. Continue with courage.  

Hugs and Friendship,

Tara

Because I Can

Today’s post is thanks in part to Whoopi Goldberg who helped me to view being active in a different way. Last week on The View, they were talking about smoking. Someone asked Whoopi why after smoking since her teen years she finally decided to quit. She went on to talk about a video of a young boy fighting the crippling and terminal illness of cystic fibrosis. She said (indirect quote) that in one part of the video he said he just wanted to be able to breathe again. That was Whoopi’s a-ha. It was then she realized she was abusing her lungs when some people would do anything to have healthy lungs.

Then came my a-ha. There is absolutely no reason why I cannot get my body moving for 30 (or more) minutes a day. No reason and no excuse.

For a long time, I had the definition of CAN on my desk, and then I gave the print to someone else.

Can- verb \kən, ˈkan also ˈken; dial ˈkin\

a:            to know how to 

b:            to be physically or mentally able to 

c:            to be permitted by conscience or feeling to 

d:            to be made possible or probable by circumstances to 

e:            to be inherently able or designed to 

I can move my body every single day. What a gift. I have a healthy brain, heart, lungs, kidneys, limbs. I can run, jump, lunge, walk, dance. I’m not wheel chair or bed bound. I have all of my working extremities. It’s time for me to get moving, because I can.

I’ve allowed the winter (being stuck inside) and a few injuries to distract me from my moving daily mission. I am active, but not every day. And (don’t tell anyone), I actually like to exercise. Yuck! I know!  

I think it probably comes from my worst year of trigeminal neuralgia when I was often bed bound. When you’re not able to move, even your head, it’s all you want to do. It also comes from the idea that movement= medicine. I feel better when I move more. That may seem logical but after a long day of work and other Mom/Wife/Friend/Volunteer activities, my fitness can come in last.  

I want to get back to viewing exercise as a choice not a chore. I want to get back to scheduling activity into my day as a non-negotiable appointment. I’m worth it and prolonging my life, that’s worth it too.

How about these reasons for moving more? Moving more:

• Reduces the risk of dying prematurely. 
• Reduces the risk of heart disease. 
• Reduces the risk of developing diabetes. 
• Reduces the risk of developing high blood pressure.
• Helps reduce blood pressure in people who already have high blood pressure.
• Reduces the risk of developing colon cancer. 
• Reduces feelings of depression and anxiety
• Helps control weight. 
• Helps build and maintain healthy bones, muscles, and joints. 
• Helps older adults become stronger and better able to move about without falling.
• Promotes psychological well-being. 

Convinced yet? Here’s a picture of me climbing to the top of the Hole in the Rock in Arizona. I need to remember how wonderful that felt, to be healthy enough to give it a whirl. Disclaimer: I panicked half way up (I’m terrified of heights), froze like Spiderman glued to the rock, and slowly worked my way back down. It’s not a fail, it’s a win because I went for it and next time I’ll get a few steps closer to where I want to be. That’s the thing about goals, they can change depending on our circumstances and we need to be OK with it as long we we keep moving forward.

What will you do to move more this week?

Commit to the choice. Ask for help. Continue with courage.  

Hugs and Friendship,

Tara

Lifelong Benefits of Moving More

Lighten Up

Last week marks a milestone for me, 5 years since I started on my wellness journey. I remember that time in my life so clearly, I was tired of myself, heck I was just plain tired. Tired of the starting and stopping. Tired of the trying and failing. Tired of the plateaus. Tired of my clothes not fitting. Tired of feeling uncomfortable in my own skin. Tired of the limits I put on myself because of my weight. Tired of being tired. Shall I go on?

So I went back to Weight Watchers for what seemed like the millionth time. At the time I was feeling quite hopeless and I had absolutely no reason to believe I would succeed. Yet here I am, 40+ pounds down and maintaining. Truthfully sometimes I still can’t believe I’m here.

I had a great visual last week to remind me of how far I’ve come. I flew out to Arizona for some family fun in the sun and flying out I traveled by myself. I usually have my husband, who says he is my mule, to carry everything but this time I was on my own. Boy did I miss my mule. I had my purse, laptop bag and  suitcase. My suitcase weighed 42 pounds. I had such a hard time lugging that thing around. I had to schlep it in and out of the airport, on and off the shuttle bus, into and out of my trunk and up 3 flights of stairs in our rental home. Sheesh! It was killing my back and my knees. And then it occurred to me, that’s almost exactly how much weight I lost. How did I carry that around for so many years? No wonder I was tired.

It was a helpful reminder for my maintenance journey. Let’s face it, maintaining is hard. I’d argue it’s almost as hard as losing. Aren’t I a ray of sunshine? Making good choices day after day, being consistent and persistent- it’s just not easy when you love (and are addicted to) food.

As spring has (thankfully) emerged, we know that summer is lurking around the corner. And I don’t know about you but I went through many changes of season when my clothes seemed to shrink in my drawer. What the heck? There I was ready to spring into something fabulous and nothing fit. Not.A.Single.Thing. I don’t use the word hate much, but I hated that feeling. The feeling of shame  because I had to go up another plus size.  

Last weeks’ vacation reminded me of how good it feels to be well. That being well is a choice not a chore. It’s not something I have to do, it’s something I want to do. It was such a good feeling to pack my suitcase with clothes that I love that make me feel good. Of course it’s so much more than the clothes. It was an incredible feeling to be active with my family on vacation. My goal was to be outside and active every day- walking, biking, hiking a mountain, horseback riding- and I did just that. To have the energy to be an active Mom and wife, that’s something I always wanted.

My question to you is- what do you need to unpack from your suitcase to make room for a healthier you? 

If you want to start on or continue with your own wellness journey- what’s stopping you? 

This week I challenge you to take pen to paper and make an unpacking list-

• Take out fear and replace it with faith.
• Unpack your mistakes and replace them with lessons learned.
• Throw away your excuses and exchange them for plans.
• Take out struggling in silence and fill your bag with supportive friends.
• Unpack negative self-talk and replace it with an attitude of gratitude.  
• Throw away the impatience and exchange it for persistence.

Do whatever it takes to lighten your load, the destination is worth it.  

Commit to the choice. Ask for help. Continue with courage.  

Hugs and Friendship,

Tara

Press On

For most people, last night would have been a stellar evening. I went out for my annual birthday bash with a group of dear friends. We laughed and carried on and had a blast. However with my neuralgia and the cold even the best of nights can come to a screeching halt. When our night came to a close I said my goodbyes, warmed up my car with my automatic starter, bundled up and headed out. In the time it took for me to walk to my car the pain started and before long it felt like knives were jabbing my eye socket. The 45 minute drive home seemed twice as long, the headlights painfully bright. Fast forward to today, I’m medicated and pressing on. Making my way through my work day and Mom duties the best I can while resting in between.

It’s funny how God’s messages are so timely, it’s like He knows our lives or something?  

At our weight loss group this week we talked about how to stay on track with our wellness routines during tough times. And today I find myself struggling with my eating, wanting to soothe my pain with food and go back to bed until it all goes away. Yet we just can’t do that. We can’t pull the covers over our head and hide because we’ve got this life to live. We’ve got responsibilities, commitments, relationships, plans, goals, dreams…we have to keep on keeping on.

Why is it that when life gets hard one of the first things we sacrifice is our own wellness? It seems kind of counterproductive. When everything around us seems to be spinning out of control, we have the ability to breathe, to slow down, to refocus and take control of our wellness and maybe, just maybe it’s the only thing we WILL be able to control for a time.  This kind of focus in the middle of the whirlwind takes more than fortitude, it takes planning, patience, persistence and a positive outlook- I like to call it the four P’s.

Planning: There’s comfort in having a plan, in having control of something when everything is falling apart. Many people believe that planning takes time that they just don’t have when in reality planning is a time saver. It’s important to make time for our wellness. Notice I didn’t say take the time, I said make the time. Examine your day, and find a way to begin to build healthy routines into your day. Take five minutes the night before to plan out your eating for the next day or take 15 minutes to prep your food for the next day. Spend some time over the weekend grocery shopping and preparing meals for the week. I know that some of you reading this are thinking “Tara do you EVEN know my life? I’m just too busy!!! I have not a moment to spare in my day.” And to that I will ask you to re-examine how you are spending your time and to think about what you can let go of that’s less important than taking care of your health. Schedule in your fitness plans as non-negotiable appointments. What’s more important than taking care of you so that you can then help others?

Patience: This is a funny one because as my husband knows I’m one of the most impatient people we know. Impatient with myself, others…Yet I’ve learned that being well is a long term and full time gig. We will be faced with many challenges that are temporary. In the moment they may seem like they are going to last forever. They will try our mettle and be the bane of our existence. They will exhaust and test us. They will take every last ounce of energy we have. Financial strains, marital issues, work challenges, health woes, death, divorce, parenting our children, parenting our parents- doing for and caring for everyone but ourselves. To this I say hang in there baby. Kick, scream, battle, do whatever it takes to survive. Do your best to remember that this too shall pass. Accept and acknowledge the slow down while doing whatever you can when you can to take care of you.

Persistence: While you’re kicking, screaming and battling your way through, remember this- sometimes the challenging circumstance has moved on and we have not. We’re so mired in the woefulness that we don’t even remember to come up for air and re-evaluate; to truly take a look at where we are and what needs to be done. Sometimes we use life challenges as excuses to not take care of ourselves.  Don’t we all know that one person who seems to always have something going on in their lives? Drama and chaos follows them around like a shadow and while some of it is real, some is also self-induced because if they continue to focus on others they won’t have to take a hard look at themselves. I know- I’ve been there.

Persistence isn’t about doing it just right, it’s about doing IT, doing something, ANYTHING to move forward. It’s about accepting the circumstance that we’re in and making the best of them. Making one decision that we have control over and taking actions based on that decision.

A positive outlook: "Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right."- Henry Ford. The brain believes what you tell it. The brain has a hard time differentiating between perception and reality. So fake it until you make it honey. You really can think yourself into being well. Words spoken and unspoken are so powerful. Being positive has been extremely important in learning to manage my chronic pain. Pay close attention to the story you’re writing in your mind. Whatever story you write will come true, you control the ending.

Use these four P’s to press on wellness warrior. You’ve already got what it takes to reach your goals. God knows your heart and He’s prepared you for this moment in time. Know and believe that He’s equipped you for the task at hand.

Commit to the choice. Ask for help. Continue with courage.  

Hugs and Friendship,

Tara

What's Your Everest?

Last night while hunkering down in the Blizzard of 2016, we watched Everest (incredible movie by the way although I should have done my research as I didn’t know the ending was so tragic- sniff). A line in the movie stuck with me. As they were leaving base camp 6, on their way to the summit, the leader said (roughly quoted) “do not look at the summit, keep your head down and take it one step at a time.” Really, that’s all they could do with such an overwhelming task in front of them- take it one step at a time.

What goal are you working toward right now that has you so overwhelmed that you’re stuck or afraid to get started? What’s your Everest?

I remember when I started my weight loss journey thinking it was going to take forever and a day to reach my goal. I did the math and the time it was going to take (at a realistic rate) wasn’t pretty. Especially given my track record and how many behavior changes I was going to have to make to get there.

Next month at the weight loss group I co-lead, we’ll be talking about goal setting. It’s important to have a specific goal, an X to Y by when. If we don’t know where we want to go and when we want to arrive, how are we supposed to develop a plan to get there? The elements of planning it took to summit Everest was amazing; the physical training, weather forecasting, medical care and supply preparation to name a few. To make it work, they had to have a start date, and end date and every detail planned in between. 

Is the goal you’re trying to reach so daunting that you don’t know where to begin? I was thinking about what is my Everest and have come to the conclusion that my current Everest is two-fold.

1) The getting started part.

2) The thinking I have to be super- duper- over-prepared to get started.

This fear of not getting things quite right has slowed me down on plenty of endeavors. I spent many years of my 30’s waiting to be ready. How ridiculous. So much time wasted. Before I started anything new, things had to be just right. Often times things were never quite right so I never started. Makes me furious when I think about it.

More times than not, my heart is ready WAY before my mind is willing to jump in. My heart says “yes, yes, yes, let’s do this” and my mind says “no fool, we’re not ready!” Over the past few years I’ve worked hard to live out my mantra of Faith Over Fear and for the most part, I’ve taken on challenges that I would not have thought possible.  I want to say “YES” before I’m ready. I want to trust that if God opens my heart to an idea, that he’ll give me the tools to make it happen. I want to remember that failing isn’t falling, it’s learning how to take a different approach the next time around.

To reach the top of Everest, the climbers had to make it through 6 base camp; the climb to each camp was different and challenging. To be ready to summit, the climbers had to do several mini excursions. They needed to get their bodies used to the terrain. It was literally two steps forward and two steps back. They would journey out for the day, get as far as they could and turn around before nightfall.

That was an a-ha moment for me. The learning is in the journey, not in the perfection of the journey. They fell, they got hurt, they regrouped, they tried again. Each time, they got a little farther. 

I love the idea of setting mini-goals (think of them as your base camps) that lead up to the main goal. They can tie into the main goal or simply get you one step closer to where you want to be. For a perfectionist personality like mine, prone to be so anxious that the fear of trying something new can be paralyzing, setting small manageable goals that tie into one larger stretch goal is the way to keep me motivated and moving forward.  

What’s your Everest? How do you plan on conquering it? 

Take a good look at the summit and then let it go. Keep your head down and move forward, one step at a time. You might be surprised that the next time you look up, you’ve reached your goal.

Commit to the choice. Ask for help. Continue with courage.  

Hugs and Friendship,

Tara

To the weight loss warriors of 2016,

I feel you. I feel your frustration. I hear you that you are fed up with the trying, with the starting and stopping, with the losing and gaining. Sick and tired of the endless cycle of what sometimes feels like hopelessness.  Let’s just call it what it is- freaking exhausting- a suckfest of sucktastic proportions.

I’m writing this because I never thought I’d be here, at goal for going on four years now. Healthy. 40+ pounds lighter. Living my best and most energized life. Feeling downright giddy about being well. Looking and feeling better in my forties than I did in my twenties. But here I am…I made it!

I’m writing this because I remember how desperate I was, just to get the scale to flipping move (in the right direction) and I know how hard it is to keep the momentum going. We’d like weight loss to be a sprint, yet in fact it’s an endurance run. And the mileposts keep changing. And sometimes it rains on the run and the trail gets foggy and we lose our way. We lose our spirit. We lose ourselves. Because we’re so tired of doing, so tired of trying, so tired of failing.

As my last post of 2015, I thought I’d capture what I would have told myself way back in 2011, when I was first starting back on my wellness journey.

You’re doing the right thing. You’ve made the choice to be well. You picked a program that works for you, a program that’s proven. Don’t be swayed by the quick fixes and fad diets. It took years to gain the weight and it’s going to take time and a crap load of hard work to lose it. Stay the course.

Set a weight goal and put a timeline to it. Instead of I want to lose weight. Be specific. I WILL get from X to Y by when. Make sure the goal is realistic. Not the weight you were in high school (for me at least, that was a long time and a few kids ago).

Create some non-scale goals. My goal was to lose one pants size and feel better in my clothes. I’m still a little dumbstruck that I lost 4 pants sizes. I had no idea it was even possible!

Surround yourself with people who are like-minded, who are healthy or are working their way to good health. I forget which comedian said “if you hang around 4 stupid people, you’ll be the fifth.” Join a support group online or in person. Head to a wellness event in your area. Subscribe to wellness magazines, blogs. Buy wellness related books.

Invest in yourself. If you cannot invest in yourself, you might as well stop this journey right now. Being well requires some self-centeredness. You’re going to have to learn to say no to some things and to say yes to things that scare you. Think about the work you’d put in if you went back to school or started a new job. You’d study. You’d prepare. You’d network. You’d set the time aside to put in the work. Weight loss requires work and it requires commitment. I think that this is one of the biggest reasons why folks don’t reach their goals. They are not willing (or ready) to put themselves first.

Ditch the diet. We are an instant gratification society. When we go on a diet we make temporary changes that lead to quick results. Embrace the small changes. One pebble in the ocean can change the current. Make one small change and build on it. You will be amazed at what you can accomplish.

Think about the thinks you think. I can affirm that for many years I was the reason that I did not reach my goal. For years I tried to lose weight, but I got in my own way, over and over again. I’d encourage you to pause here and to really tune in to the emotions of why you’re not getting where you want to be. I’m guessing you have the know-how and most likely you have the tools and support. I’m guessing that you also have the willingness. There is something stopping you, holding you back from achieving the very best health you desire. Maybe it’s the fear of the known- you know that you get half way to goal and quit. Maybe it’s the fear of the unknown- what will life be like after you reach your goal? What will that new person look like? Feel like? Live like? What if that means that other things must change too? Maybe it’s the fear of failure- what if you reach your goal and then can’t maintain it? Whatever the reason- dig deep- it’s there.

For the love of Peter, Paul, Mary & Joseph- KEEP GOING!!! I’ve blogged about this. I’ve talked to groups about this. IF I had quit, I NEVER WOULD HAVE REACHED MY GOAL. Please, please, pretty please on top of cheese with strawberries, DO NOT GIVE UP ON YOURSELF.

Love yourself where you are while working toward who you want to be.

You’re worth starting. You’re worth planning. You’re worth prioritizing. You’re worth 

investing.

You’re Gods precious gift, a one of a kind. Loved. Cherished.  

Now- cherish yourself.

Commit to the choice. Ask for help. Continue with courage.  

Hugs and Friendship,

Tara