De-stress the Distress

This week's Weight Watchers topic was one of my favs, how to flip up a slip up. I so love this message! it's such a timely reminder that no matter what stresses we're facing, big or small, God always gives us a chance for a do-over.

This question is, do we even want a do-over? Or would we rather wallow in self pity and despair? The answer varies by person. Have you ever met that person that continually creates their own drama and will never EVER be happy?

Sometimes, it's easier to wallow than to face the F-word, failure; followed by the C-word, change.
My take away from this week's lesson is a four step process to get back on track.

1. Own it. 
2. Change it. 
3. Embrace it. 
4. Move beyond it. 

Own it. For Pete's sake (whoever Pete is), please step up to the plate and own your stuff. Only you can control your actions and reactions, y-o-u. If you muffed something up, whether a work task or something more serious like a relationship, own it. Don't blame traffic, or the weather, own it. Don't blame your parents, friends, kids or childhood, own it. When we make mistakes, silly or the more damaging kind, we need to own them before we can move beyond them. 


Change it. Each of us has the power to change our behavior, if we want to. Once we know what we did, it’s time to change things up. But that requires that dreaded self reflection thing which is sometimes  downright painful. Once we own our slip up, it’s time to do things differently. The beauty of this? It’s never too late to make a change. Take a pause and take stock. Ask yourself a few questions. Was my behavior within my control? What were the circumstances around it? Were those circumstances within my control? If faced with this situation again, what would I do differently? What would my do-over look like?

Embrace it. This step is crucial to being able to move beyond the slip up.  When we falter, it’s so easy to quit. It’s so easy to self-berate. It’s not so easy to self-forgive. Think about some negative things you’ve said to yourself over the past week.  I can’t do this. I’m not good enough. I’m not smart enough. I failed before so why try again. I don’t have those skills. Now imagine saying those negative things to a friend, family member or co-worker. We wouldn’t do it (hopefully) because we are far kinder to others than we are to ourselves. Be kind to yourself- own it, change it and move beyond it. 

Move beyond it. I’ve been asking my classes, “if you have a flat tire, do you stop and pop the rest of your  tires?” No, you change the tire and keep on driving! If only it were that easy.  As a child we quickly learn if we touch fire we’re going to get burned. As grown-ups, we’ve been burned so many times, we’re afraid to fuel our fire and try again. However, humans are beautifully resilient. Every day I hear amazing stories of people who face incredible trials and come out triumphant. This is where that one small change that Weight Watchers asks its members to make each week comes into play. Moving beyond it is all about regaining control of our actions and reactions. Think about one small change that you can apply to your situation and start right now. Not tomorrow, not next week, right now. 

By nature of my personality, I often work myself up and make things seem much more overwhelming than they actually are. Instead of getting locked up and stuck, one of the best things I can do is to tackle one small change at a time. Often times I find that when I really look closely at my situation, I can take the small steps I need to de-stress my distress. 

Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Ask for help. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara