Authentically Y-O-U

My evening walk tonight turned into an interesting social experiment- in the words of Seinfeld- “who knew?” It was a chillier than usual summer evening, so I donned my beanie hat. I need to wear it because of my neuralgia, so that my ears and neck stay warm when it’s windy. I used to be self-conscious about it and would not wear a hat, thus landing myself with a neuralgia migraine all because I was too vain to wear some protection. Foolishness!

So tonight, even though it’s summer, I proudly put my hat on and got my walk on. As I was walking along, minding my own business, I realized that several folks crossed to the other side of the road. What? Does this nerdy suburban mama transform into a gangsta thug when I wear my beanie?

I mean really…these are probably the same people that cast judgment on the heavy people at the gym. I used to be the heavy person at the gym. Give a sistah a break here. It was hard enough to muster up the energy and the confidence to get dressed into something that semi-fits and covers up all of me. Don’t forget about the baby power needed for my thighs and arms for the sweat and chafing- and that was before I even got out the door. How about you worry about being the best you and I’ll worry about being the best me?  

I am no stranger to judgment.  One of the (several) downsides to being a perfectionist is that you tend to judge others. I don’t mean the physical, I mean everything. Because I hold myself to sometimes unreasonably high standards, I also hold those around me to those standards. It’s something I’m still working on and am very aware of. Unreasonable expectations of others (and me) can lead to constant and unnecessary disappointment. I’m working really hard to see people for who they are and to meet them where they are.

I’m also working on just being me, authentically me. Not who I see in the reflections of the eyes of others. Not who I see in comparison to the nip-tucked, emaciated, spray tanned, teeth whitened Hollywood reality stars. Not who I see in the mirror, the person that I see beyond the mirror, the person within.

This week, I set out to buy a slip with a built in bra to wear with a few maxi dresses. I did not want shapewear. This girl does not do shapewear. I want to be able to breath and move in my clothing.  I could not find anything without firm or moderate control. What the heck is wrong with this picture? Even some of my daughter’s friends wear Spanx and they have these cute little shapes and it’s not good enough.

Have you ever met a person that just radiates from the inside out? A person that by Hollywood standards is not beautiful yet you’re drawn to him/her because of the confidence he/she exudes? Someone that’s just comfortable in their own skin? Most people I meet like this have no idea just how amazing they are because they’re so focused on helping others to feel amazing.

This week, I challenge you to take the focus off of you. Remove the pressure. Drop the need for perfection, for performance, to impress, to be greater than. Stop the pretense.

Just be authentically you.

Moody, classy and slightly sassy. Funny, crazy and sometimes lazy. Grateful, overzealous and on occasion jealous. Joyful, cheerful yet sometimes fearful. Beanie-cap wearing, oh dear Lord I hope that’s not a hair on my chin…y-o-u.

"You are eternal, beautiful, and real." - Vironika Tugaleva

When you keep it real, you allow others to let their guards down. Love. Kindness. Grace. Acceptance. These are gifts that you can give to yourself and to others that are absolutely free.

You’ll be amazed at the people that you can impact by just being yourself.

Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Ask for help. Continue with courage.  

Hugs and Friendship,

Tara

One Size Fits All

Last night I was lying in bed and my mind was running. Have you ever had one of those nights when you just couldn't shut things off? I had long finished work, did some housework, watched a little TV and read some of my book, yet it was after midnight and my mind was reeling. The more it reeled, the more overwhelmed I felt.  With the everyday pressures of life, I do my best to unplug and recharge my batteries daily. I’ve learned that to mitigate my neuralgia it’s important to put healthy fuels in my body, to move at least 30 minutes a day and to meditate/pray at least 15 minutes a day. This, along with a mantra or two, usually keeps me feeling well.  My mantra lately has been “I will remain present minded and positive.”  Last night, I didn’t do so hot with that.

I rehashed my work day, going through a few less than stellar scenarios along with stressing about upcoming project deadlines and what needed to happen to get those done. Then I moved on to my kids. If you’re a parent of teens or young adults I’m sure that you can relate that parenting this age group comes with a whole new set of adult-sized worries. I have awesome kids (if I do say so myself), yet there are still issues to counsel and coach our kids on and let’s face it, the on the job training has been minimal and the pay even less. Once I did my best to turn these worries over to God, I moved on to some family stresses- aging and ailing in-laws, wondering how we’re going to manage to take care of them when they really get ill; nursing strained relationships- you know the like.  Since I had myself wide awake at that point, I moved on to the fact that I’m sick and tired of my neuralgia, of missing out of certain life events because I don’t feel well or the weather (too hot or too cold) is not cooperating. And lastly, while I was piling on, I got good and angry about my constant and seemingly endless struggle with my weight.

It was a pisser (as they say in England), a bloody pisser. While this post might seem like a big downer, hang with me here as I’m about to get to the good part.

As I was silently lamenting (while tossing and turning and keeping my husband up), God and I had ourselves a little moment.  He placed this thought in my heart- I am a one size fits all God. This reminder was as refreshing as a peppermint patty. Have you ever been out shopping and picked up a piece of clothing that said- one size fits most? Those labels are stupid and I declare them stupid because for the majority of my life I was- the other- not- the most. I was the one who didn’t fit into the label. I wasn’t- the most.

Yet last night, as God so kindly reminded me, He is a one size fits all God.  

All of me. All of you. All of us.

He loves us all, just the way we are.

He wants us all, just for who we are.

He seeks us all, in exactly the place that we are.

It’s like the John Legend song- “’Cause all of me, loves all of you. Love your curves and all your edges, all your perfect imperfections. Give your all to me. I’ll give my all to you.”

And in that moment, when God reminded me that He is my one size fits all God…

My negativity disappeared.

My worries lessened.

My anger deflated.

My mind was taken over by His peace and love. 

My heart swelled with gratitude. 

Who am I? This lowly sinner, a whiner and complainer; yet His grace is bigger and it covers me. 

He is my one size fits all God. I am not- the other. I do not need to be- the most.

His love is the perfect fit.  He is not just my one size fits all God, He is my all.

Holding tight to that hope, I finally closed my eyes and got some rest.

Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Ask for help. Continue with courage.  

Hugs and Friendship,

Tara

MUSU

A few years back when my family and I went on a missions trip to Guatemala, a Watson family phrase was coined- MUSU- or as we know it “man up- suck it up.” It started when one of us would whine about something during the trip. Most days we were bone tired from physical labor, the showers were cold, the food was less than desirable and the beds were hard as a rock. And so, like the spoiled rotten Americans we were, we whined. Given the fact that we were on this trip to build a home for a family in need, a family that lived in a sugar cane hut with a tin roof the size of a garden shed with no windows or doors, no electric or running water- our attitudes were truly pathetic. So our kids coined the phrase MUSU and whenever someone started to complain, one of us would say “MUSU”! It was a great reminder to bring us back to reality.

When was the last time you manned up to a fear? Looked it in the eyes and stared it down? MUSUing (if I may take the liberty to turn this imaginary word into verb form) is easier said than done.

Isn’t it much easier to remain complacent, to bury stuff, to take the easy path, to maybe not even try?

I’ve been at this weight loss gig for 17 years and I still find one thing very difficult, to MUSU on the scale. For years, the mighty scale has had this relentless power over me. When I went to weigh-in and I lost weight, I was giddy with excitement. Look at me!!! Ya-freakin-hoo!!! I’m dabomb.com diggity! Nothing could bring me down. And when I gained weight, well, let’s just say I was a “tad” bitchy for the rest of the day [understatement of the year]. Up until only a few years ago, when I gained, I completely derailed. My wellness train jumped the tracks and headed to Hostess Town or Tastycake Station.  My frame of mind? Well- since I already gained I might as well do it up good, REAL good. I’ll go ahead and eat whatever I want for the rest of the day. I’ll get back on track tomorrow. Sound familiar?

It’s a vicious cycle because often times, tomorrow never comes. One day of indulgence leads to the next and then we say we’ll get back to it next week, yet often times next week never comes. So we rationalize and tell ourselves that we’ll be back in the saddle next season, when life is less busy, overloaded, chaotic [insert your adjective here]. The scary part is, that seasons fly by, and as fast as we can blink we’ve suddenly gained 25, 50, 75 pounds and have no idea how it happened.

It happened because we weren’t willing to MUSU. Instead of acknowledgement we chose avoidance. Instead of acceptance we chose denial. Instead of accountability we chose recklessness. We weren’t willing to man up and face the scale.

This week, I experienced just how this could happen. I had a wretched week of eating and I knew it. While I ate very poorly, the good news is that I tracked every item. I KNEW just how badly I did; the results on the scale weren’t going to be a shocker. If I can take a moment to share how this parallels with Dave Ramsay’s teachings in Financial Peace University. Mr. Ramsay recommends that folks purchase items using cash, so that they can feel the pain of the purchase. It makes them think twice about spending. Tracking, or food journaling, even when we’ve had a bad week allows us to feel the pain of the gain. Every item I wrote down that was an indulgence, or an unwise choice, I felt it. This gave me pause and I slowed down to really consider the choices I was making. I kept going (with the poor choices) but they weren’t as bad as the old days. In addition, as an offset, I made sure that I exercised every day. Alas, I still posted a gain.

Since I’m a WW lifetime member and a leader, I only have to weigh in once a month. I could have skipped this weigh in and told myself I’ll get back on track next week. Yet I know, I’m in the middle of a struggle and the best thing I can do is to MUSU and face the scale- every single week- acknowledging, accepting and being accountable for the good, the bad and the downright ugly choices and results.

I truly believe that this change in mindset is how I’ve been able to maintain my 40+ pound weight loss over the past few years. It not that I like food any less I just like being healthy and fit more.  I know that to be healthy and fit, I must remain in this frame of mind where an occasional gain is OK. This means letting go of perfectionism, black and white thinking and acknowledging, accepting and being accountable for my actions- knowing that I have the power to change them at all times.

Man up! Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Ask for help. Continue with courage.  

Hugs and Friendship,

Tara

Sweet Victory

One of the most disheartening things about being a Weight Watchers leader is watching a member slowly give up the fight.  Whether battling our weight or perhaps a more personal challenge, we’ve all been there. Pushing and climbing, clamoring and slipping, breathing and refocusing, struggling and digging, forging forward and then falling behind, maybe flat on our a$$es. Yet we get back up, first on our knees then on our feet; trudging, begrudging, mumbling, and fumbling. Some days trying our best, some days not trying at all. Yet we fight, for that which eludes us, haunts us, taunts us- the satisfyingly sweet taste of victory.

The fight makes us weary. For some (including myself) it’s been the battle of a lifetime. It wears us down and breaks our spirit. Soon we lose our perspective, we forget what we’re doing this for and lose sight of how far we’ve come. We can only see our failure and our inability to get the scale to move- again.

I can see it in people’s eyes, when they lose the spark. I want to take them by the shoulders, look them in the eyes and tell them that the victory is worth the battle.  I want to beg and plead with them to never give up.  DO NOT QUIT.

I want them to know that I hear them. I feel them. I’ve been there, so…many…times…

My heart aches for them. My spirit wills them to press on.  

Over the past month, I’ve watched my weight slowly creep upwards and as the scale increased, so did my frustration. To take a step back (and a deep breath) I broke out all of my Weight Watchers records from 1996 to today and I charted them. This shouldn’t come as a surprise to those who really know me and my anal retentive ways.

The chart was very telling. For most of the last 17 years, I maintained a healthy body weight. While I wasn’t at goal the entire time, I was well.

Yet there were several years that I seriously struggled, the numbers speak for themselves. It began around 2006. I was attending Weight Watchers during my lunch break with a friend. I remember that time very clearly.

In 2006, I regularly attended WW and gained a total of 3 pounds. Looking back, although I might have attended, I only half participated. Really I was dilly-dallying with the program. Some weeks I stayed on plan, and some weeks I didn’t. The effort (or lack thereof) showed.

In 2007 I stopped going because I was stressed and frustrated. I was going to school at night, working full time and the company I worked for was going out of business- soon I would need to change careers. These are not excuses, just circumstances.

In 2008 I regularly attended WW and gained a total of 8 pounds. Once again, I didn’t make a serious effort. Some weeks I was a WW rock star, and other weeks, I just could not focus on the task at hand. Yet I kept going.

In 2009 I regularly attended WW and gained a total of 3 pounds over that year.

In 2010 I stopped going because I was sad and sick from neuralgia. I must pause here and say that 2009 and 2010 were the worst years of my trigeminal neuralgia that had since 2001. I’ve written full blog posts about it. The pain took over every single aspect my life.  I was on heavy medications and pretty much at the end of my rope.  Stick with me because this is where it all turns around.

Near the end of 2010 I found hope and pain relief through acupuncture. Those years of non-stop pain helped me to appreciate the gift of good health.

I praised God for giving me my health back and I promised to honor Him with my body, mind and spirit.

I took a brand new approach to wellness. I dropped my all or nothing mentality. I left behind my black and white thinking. I pledged to make small, subtle changes that would lead to achievable and maintainable results. I started my blog to keep motivated and on track, walked back through those Weight Watchers doors, and here I am.

In 2011 I went back to WW and lost 10 pounds.

In 2012 I kept going to WW and lost 11 pounds.

In 2012 I got back to goal weight!!!

In 2013 I kept going to WW and lost 7 pounds.

In 2014 I kept going to WW and lost 5 pounds.

I am now 13 pounds BELOW goal!!!

The victory is worth the battle. It’s worth the pushing and climbing, clamoring and slipping, breathing and refocusing, struggling and digging, forging forward and then falling behind, maybe flat on our a$$es. It’s worth the trudging, begrudging, mumbling, and fumbling.

Some days we’ll try our best and some days we might not try at all.

Yet we fight, for that which eludes us, haunts us, taunts us- the sweet victory that’s ours for the taking.

There is a warrior inside of us who will not quit!  

Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Ask for help. Continue with courage.  

Hugs and Friendship,

Tara

Something Amazing Awaits

The illness I have, trigeminal neuralgia, is a battle of the wills. I’ve faced and overcome a lot of serious challenges in my life, yet when I find myself being overtaken with pain so severe that death seems a welcome alternative, it’s sometimes hard to dig deep and stay the course. 

Hazel Grace, the main character (and one of my fictional heroines) in John Green’s book The Fault In Our Stars describes it best. “There was nothing they could do to dim the supernovae exploding inside my brain, an endless chain of intracranial firecrackers that made me think that I was once and for all going, and I told myself- as I’ve told myself before- that the body shuts down when the pain gets too bad, that consciousness is temporary, that this will pass. But just like always, I didn’t slip away. I was left on the shore with waves washing over me, unable to drown.”

I know so many people who are suffering right now, from physical and emotional pain. Suffering heartaches and trauma, dealing with illnesses and loss that must be so overwhelming that much like Hazel Grace, they find it hard to fill their lungs and just breathe. One after another, those relentless waves of pain wrack their bodies, making it hard to come up for air. It’s during those moments that they question their existence, God’s existence. They long for just one moment of rest and peace.

This past week I suffered not one, but two severe neuralgia attacks. For the most part, my neuralgia is manageable, and on a pain level of 1-10 (10 being the highest) I can keep my pain to a 5 or less. However these attacks, they brought about pain levels of 100+. Pain that feels like the devil himself brought it on and hand delivered right to my head. Pain when all you can do is hold still and try to breathe through it, while silently praying to God for mercy. As I was lying there the one night, riding through the pain and waiting for the meds to take over, the news story came on about the tragedy and devastation of the Washington state mudslides. Amazingly, my whole perspective changed. Here were people who lost all or most of their families.  Lone survivors who lost children, spouses and parents that would somehow, day by day, do their best to move beyond the pain. And in that moment, I was simply grateful to be alive, to have been given the gift of another day.

For centuries, many including myself have asked the question where is the Almighty during our times of suffering? While I don’t proclaim to have THE answer, I have my answer. This week, I turned to many things for comfort, one of which was my bible. I re-read the book of Genesis and was provided with this. “And God said, "This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all generations to come: I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life.” – Genesis 9:12-15.

I don’t know about you, but whenever I see a rainbow, a sunrise or a sunset, I am struck by the sheer magnitude of creation. I am awed and humbled by those gifts of beauty that God places before us. I am overwhelmed by God’s promise of hope, the offering of life now and life everlasting. I am reminded that in our darkest times of despair, when we think that we simply cannot make it through another day, that the sun is always shining behind the clouds. There are days when we cannot feel its warmth and cannot see its light, but it is there, reaching for us, drawing us in.

Spring reminds me of this hope, a season of fresh starts and second chances. Just think about the courage and perseverance it takes for a seed to break through the hard, cold ground. In faith it presses upwards, before it can ever see the light, reaching, straining, longing, yearning for something that it cannot see, but knows is there. Working, trusting, believing that its time will come. And then it happens, in sheer determination it breaks through the surface, blooming in all of its glory, basking in the radiance of the sun that was always there, patiently waiting for its arrival. Illuminating a path so brilliant and so remarkable that it makes us question why we ever wondered if we’d make it through.

No matter what pain you’re facing right now- DO NOT give up. During this battle of the wills, this test of your every mettle, this seemingly never-ending trial, the ground is warming. You are being prepared for your time of glory. 

DO NOT give up before it’s your time to break through, something amazing awaits you.

Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Ask for help. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

Work in Progress

Sometimes, when leading a Weight Watchers meeting, I am amused by the looks that I get from new members. I can tell by their body language that they are giving me the once over and deciding whether or not I can be trusted. Even after I share with them that I’ve been a lifetime member since 1997 and have lost 40+ pounds, I can still see the doubt in their eyes. Some take a long time to win over and some move on to another class that suits them better.  It’s a tough sell to be at goal, standing in front of folks that desperately want to be well. I can see the looks on some of their faces that convey “yeah, this is easy for her to say, she’s already where she wants to be.”

Your message is heard, understood, and respected- because I’ve been in that seat.  It is my hope, when sharing my stories each week that those same folks begin to learn that I struggle just as much as they do. Just because I’m at goal, doesn’t mean I’ve reached some magical level of mastery. When it comes to any type of addiction, and mine just happens to be food, we are fooling ourselves if we think we’ve arrived.  While I may never be the master of my addiction, I am the master of my choices.

As I mentioned in my last post, the past few weeks have been a struggle for me. The scale is slowly creeping upwards, .2 here, .7 there, .5 here. Those small gains can add up if we don’t take swift action to reverse them.  I’m still amazed that after 17 years of establishing a mostly good wellness routine and practicing many behavior changes, I can fall off the wagon.  For me, one of the hardest parts of the weight loss and maintenance journey is knowing how to redirect myself when I’m stuck or begin to slip up.

My husband says I’m one of the most self-aware people he knows. He’s probably right. On occasion this is to my detriment as I can be a bit hard on myself.  Yet when it comes to losing and maintaining my weight, ongoing self-inspection has been a tool that continues to propel me forward.  When I’m stuck (as I am right now) I take a hard look at some of the things that might be getting in my way. And believe me honey, there are many behaviors that have blocked my road to wellness. Today I will focus on three:

1. All-or-nothing thinking- here’s how this works. We blow it. We eat something we shouldn’t have and now we’re peeved, disgusted, discouraged.  So we think “what the heck, I’ve already messed up. I might as well eat whatever I want for the rest of the day and I’ll start fresh tomorrow.”  And then we go on a gorge fest. Yet for some of us, tomorrow never comes and we let this thinking derail our entire week. We say things like “well, I have four events this week, there is no way I’ll be able to stay on track. I’ll start next week.” Yet for some of us, next week never comes because we’re entering a busy or stressful season.  So we start to rationalize “I’ll get started after my son’s baseball season or once my Mom gets better or after I finish my degree or when work slows down…because I just can’t deal with this right now.” And all of the sudden we find ourselves exactly where I did in 1996 when I stepped on that Weight Watchers scale wondering how I had gained 40+ pounds. How on earth did that happen?

I spent years as an all-or-nothing thinker because I was so overwhelmed with the task at hand. It wasn’t until I realized that I needed to tackle my wellness one day at a time, one change at a time, that I was able to begin to erase this thinking. Let's break it down even smaller. How about instead of taking it one day at a time, we take it one meal at a time? The best corrective action is immediate. If you eat something you shouldn’t have or more than you wanted to- start fresh with the next meal- that same day. If you missed a workout and now you’re berating yourself- take a few minutes to fit in a little bit of activity. A few minutes of activity is better than none at all.

Blaming- Oh man, I was famous for this one. Being overweight was everyone’s fault but my own. It was my grandmother’s fault because she used to put sugar on everything and now I need to put sugar on everything. It’s my family’s fault because we always had dessert after every meal and now I need to eat something sweet after every meal. I was an overweight child so I’m destined to be an overweight adult.  How about these? My husband brought home the cherry Pop Tarts so now I must eat them. My Aunt made me my favorite (high fat) meal; I can’t let her down by not eating it. My daughter wanted to go to McDonald’s, how could I say no? Or the ultimate crutch, it’s in my genes; many of my family members are heavy so I’m bound to be heavy too.

Blaming my genes was my all-time favorite. Dr. Amen writes in his book The Amen Solution: The Brain Healthy Way to Get Thinner, Smarter, Happier “…your genes are not your destiny…genes are not the whole story. It also has to do with how much you eat and other habits.”  To change our bodies, we need to not only change our behaviors, but take ownership of them.

I’m currently re-reading Change Your Brain Change Your Body by Dr. Amen. The portion of this book that covers blame was just the kick in the pants that I needed. In this book he states in part “Blaming others for your problems and taking no responsibility for your own successes and failures is toxic thinking…Whenever you begin a sentence with “It is your fault…” it ruins your life. These ANTS make you a victim. And when you are a victim, you are powerless to change your behavior.”  As I teach my kids (or try to when I think they might be listening), every action has a consequence. You are responsible for YOUR choices that will lead to YOUR actions that will result in YOUR consequences. Start taking personal responsibility for your behavior, right now.

Wearing Rose Colored Glasses- Life is so much prettier when it’s doused in pink. When it comes to regressing back to old behaviors, wearing rose colored glasses is an easy routine to slip back into. Sometimes I sit down after a Weight Watchers meeting with a member who is stuck or frustrated. During that one-on-one time, we walk through a (hopefully) valuable discussion about what took place over the past week. I try to identify areas that might be looking a little too rosy. One of these areas is simply paying attention to and being honest about what we’re eating. Often, when we’ve been at a wellness routine for a long period, we start to slack in the portion control department. We start to think “we’ve got this”, so we eyeball, we guesstimate, we stop reading labels. Slowly the number on the scale starts move up and we can’t figure out why.  I realize that over the past few weeks, this is one of the places where I’ve lost my focus. I stopped weighing and measuring my food and I was a selective tracker (meaning I didn’t write down the bad stuff). You can’t measure what you don’t track. It’s amazing how a ½ cup can quickly become a whole cup of food or how a bite here and a sip there can add up to mindless calories.

I don’t know about you, but if I don’t write down exactly what I’ve eaten at the time I eat it, I find it easier to fib a little. All of the sudden I start to “forget” about that extra Snickers bar or second helping and what’s even scarier is that I start to believe myself.  Looking at what I eat through a distorted lens is not doing me any favors. It can lead to a slow, but startling weight increase. Make the time to weigh and measure your food. Take the time to read the labels. Honestly write down everything you eat and drink each day.

I started this post as a way to get myself back on track. As I mentioned, the scale has started to creep back up and it is time to put a stop to it. It was helpful to take some time to examine where I might be falling short and I hope it helped you too.     

Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Ask for help. Continue with courage. 

And remember that you are a magnificent work in progress.  

Hugs and Friendship,

Tara

Be Intentional

Last week my husband and I both agreed to do a two week wellness challenge. You might be thinking, two weeks, really? Yes, two weeks. Sometimes long term goals can be completely overwhelming. I like to set short term goals that get me closer to my desired results. Once I complete this two week challenge, I will evaluate my progress, recalibrate and move forward.

There was nothing fancy about this challenge, the ground rules were simple. For two weeks we would:

• Eat well, staying at or under our Weight Watchers points ranges.
• Get moving, performing 30 minutes or more of daily activity. The only exercise excuse allowed was illness.
• Not bring any baked goods into the house (we had reverted back to some of our old ways).
• We also identified our trigger foods and agreed not to purchase them.

In addition, I added a mental wellness component:

• To take a minimum of 15 minutes each day for prayer, reflection or meditation.

This really got me asking the question "am I being intentional about how I spend my time?" Let’s say we’re awake for 16 hours a day (give or take).  If we factor in an 8 hour work day and a 2 hour commute (an hour each way), that leaves us with 6 hours. If we take away 3 hours to care for loved ones and tend to our many personal/household responsibilities, that leaves 3 hours of leisure time. Phew, that sounded way too much like a math problem, my head hurts. 

Often I hear people say that they cannot possibly find the time to work out or eat healthily. I used to believe the same, until I started to look at how I was spending my time. I realized that conservatively I was spending two hours a night watching TV. Sure, I work hard and that is well-deserved down time. Sometimes it feels good just to veg out. However, I came to realize that I have much more energy as well as much more of myself to offer to others if I spend some of that time taking care of me.  

Do you believe that if you want something bad enough you will find a way to make it happen? 

For three years, I attended an accelerated degree program to get my bachelor’s degree. I worked in an office setting full time and had two younger kids with busy schedules. Somehow, I made it work, because I wanted to (and I can’t deny I had an awesome support system in my husband, friends and a flexible employer).

A little over a year ago, I decided to train to become a Weight Watchers leader. I led two classes a week on top of a full time job. Shortly thereafter my husband took a travel assignment and maintaining a life balance became a little more challenging for me. Yet I made it work because I wanted to and I got by with a little help from my friends.

Neither example is meant to toot my own horn. Every day I am in awe of people around me making life work in superhero fashion- going back to school, volunteering, working long days, taking care of elderly parents or sick children, working two jobs, helping others.  Whether you’re in these roles by choice or by default- please remember that you have the ability and the power to take control of your life.

What have you wanted to try that you can’t find the time for? What have you been meaning to do? Who have you thought about that you’d like to spend time with?

What can you sacrifice in your day or who can you ask for help to make it happen?

Dave Ramsey, as part of his Financial Peace University teachings, instructs that we have the power to tell our money where to go.

We also have the power to make the most of our time. While there may be seasons in our life where this might not be or might not seem possible; I believe that in all seasons, life presents us with choices.

Whatever your goal- getting healthier, trying something new, reaching out to someone, starting a second career, forgiving a hurt, going back to school- make the choice to do it, because you want to. Don’t let the choice overwhelm you. Write down your goal and break it into smaller more manageable steps. Pull your resources; you might be surprised to realize that there are people in your life that are ready and willing to help you, if only you’d ask.

You’ll be amazed at what you can and WILL accomplish.

Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Ask for help. Continue with courage. Be intentional. 

Hugs and Friendship,

Tara