Chewing the Fat on Skinny: Work in Progress

Sometimes, when leading a Weight Watchers meeting, I am amused by the looks that I get from new members. I can tell by their body language that they are giving me the once over and deciding whether or not I can be trusted. Even after I share with them that I’ve been a lifetime member since 1997 and have lost 40+ pounds, I can still see the doubt in their eyes. Some take a long time to win over and some move on to another class that suits them better. It’s a tough sell to be at goal, standing in front of folks that desperately want to be well. I can see the looks on some of their faces that convey “yeah, this is easy for her to say, she’s already where she wants to be.”

Your message is heard, understood, and respected- because I’ve been in that seat. It is my hope, when sharing my stories each week that those same folks begin to learn that I struggle just as much as they do. Just because I’m at goal, doesn’t mean I’ve reached some magical level of mastery. When it comes to any type of addiction, and mine just happens to be food, we are fooling ourselves if we think we’ve arrived. While I may never be the master of my addiction, I am the master of my choices.

As I mentioned in my last post, the past few weeks have been a struggle for me. The scale is slowly creeping upwards, .2 here, .7 there, .5 here. Those small gains can add up if we don’t take swift action to reverse them. I’m still amazed that after 17 years of establishing a ~~mostly~~ good wellness routine and practicing many behavior changes, I can fall off the wagon. For me, one of the hardest parts of the weight loss and maintenance journey is knowing how to redirect myself when I’m stuck or begin to slip up.

My husband says I’m one of the most self-aware people he knows. He’s probably right. On occasion this is to my detriment as I can be a bit hard on myself. Yet when it comes to losing and maintaining my weight, ongoing self-inspection has been a tool that continues to propel me forward. When I’m stuck (as I am right now) I take a hard look at some of the things that might be getting in my way. And believe me honey, there are many behaviors that have blocked my road to wellness. Today I will focus on three:

1. All-or-nothing thinking- here’s how this works. We blow it. We eat something we shouldn’t have and now we’re peeved, disgusted, discouraged. So we think “what the heck, I’ve already messed up. I might as well eat whatever I want for the rest of the day and I’ll start fresh tomorrow.” And then we go on a gorge fest. Yet for some of us, tomorrow never comes and we let this thinking derail our entire week. We say things like “well, I have four events this week, there is no way I’ll be able to stay on track. I’ll start next week.” Yet for some of us, next week never comes because we’re entering a busy or stressful season. So we start to rationalize “I’ll get started after my son’s baseball season or once my Mom gets better or after I finish my degree or when work slows down…because I just can’t deal with this right now.” And all of the sudden we find ourselves exactly where I did in 1996 when I stepped on that Weight Watchers scale wondering how I had gained 40+ pounds. How on earth did that happen?

I spent years as an all-or-nothing thinker because I was so overwhelmed with the task at hand. It wasn’t until I realized that I needed to tackle my wellness one day at a time, one change at a time, that I was able to begin to erase this thinking. Let's break it down even smaller. How about instead of taking it one day at a time, we take it one meal at a time? The best corrective action is immediate. If you eat something you shouldn’t have or more than you wanted to- start fresh with the next meal- that same day. If you missed a workout and now you’re berating yourself- take a few minutes to fit in a little bit of activity. A few minutes of activity is better than none at all.

Blaming- Oh man, I was famous for this one. Being overweight was everyone’s fault but my own. It was my grandmother’s fault because she used to put sugar on everything and now I need to put sugar on everything. It’s my family’s fault because we always had dessert after every meal and now I need to eat something sweet after every meal. I was an overweight child so I’m destined to be an overweight adult. How about these? My husband brought home the cherry Pop Tarts so now I must eat them. My Aunt made me my favorite (high fat) meal; I can’t let her down by not eating it. My daughter wanted to go to McDonald’s, how could I say no? Or the ultimate crutch, it’s in my genes; many of my family members are heavy so I’m bound to be heavy too.

Blaming my genes was my all-time favorite. Dr. Amen writes in his book The Amen Solution: The Brain Healthy Way to Get Thinner, Smarter, Happier “…your genes are not your destiny…genes are not the whole story. It also has to do with how much you eat and other habits.” To change our bodies, we need to not only change our behaviors, but take ownership of them.

I’m currently re-reading Change Your Brain Change Your Body by Dr. Amen. The portion of this book that covers blame was just the kick in the pants that I needed. In this book he states in part “Blaming others for your problems and taking no responsibility for your own successes and failures is toxic thinking…Whenever you begin a sentence with “It is your fault…” it ruins your life. These ANTS make you a victim. And when you are a victim, you are powerless to change your behavior.” As I teach my kids (or try to when I think they might be listening), every action has a consequence. You are responsible for YOUR choices that will lead to YOUR actions that will result in YOUR consequences. Start taking personal responsibility for your behavior, right now.

Wearing Rose Colored Glasses- Life is so much prettier when it’s doused in pink. When it comes to regressing back to old behaviors, wearing rose colored glasses is an easy routine to slip back into. Sometimes I sit down after a Weight Watchers meeting with a member who is stuck or frustrated. During that one-on-one time, we walk through a (hopefully) valuable discussion about what took place over the past week. I try to identify areas that might be looking a little too rosy. One of these areas is simply paying attention to and being honest about what we’re eating. Often, when we’ve been at a wellness routine for a long period, we start to slack in the portion control department. We start to think “we’ve got this”, so we eyeball, we guesstimate, we stop reading labels. Slowly the number on the scale starts move up and we can’t figure out why. I realize that over the past few weeks, this is one of the places where I’ve lost my focus. I stopped weighing and measuring my food and I was a selective tracker (meaning I didn’t write down the bad stuff). You can’t measure what you don’t track. It’s amazing how a ½ cup can quickly become a whole cup of food or how a bite here and a sip there can add up to mindless calories.

I don’t know about you, but if I don’t write down exactly what I’ve eaten at the time I eat it, I find it easier to fib a little. All of the sudden I start to “forget” about that extra Snickers bar or second helping and what’s even scarier is that I start to believe myself. Looking at what I eat through a distorted lens is not doing me any favors. It can lead to a slow, but startling weight increase. Make the time to weigh and measure your food. Take the time to read the labels. Honestly write down everything you eat and drink each day.

I started this post as a way to get myself back on track. As I mentioned, the scale has started to creep back up and it is time to put a stop to it. It was helpful to take some time to examine where I might be falling short and I hope it helped you too.

Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Ask for help. Continue with courage.

And remember that you are a magnificent work in progress.