Guatemala Reflection #4: Strength

Jamie Lee Curtis is currently working the talk show circuit promoting her new children’s book called My Brave Year of Firsts- Tries, Sighs and High Fives. The book is about a young girl named Frankie who learns about being brave by trying new things for the very first time. I haven’t posted about Guatemala for a while, yet the experience still sits at the top of my heart. The title of the book Tries, Sighs and High Fives is the perfect description of what took place at the job site in San Raimundo.

I witnessed so much individual bravery and strength in Guatemala. Combine that with incredible team work and God’s helping hand and we were an unstoppable force!  For some, bravery was simply setting foot on foreign soil, being surrounded by people that spoke a different language and followed diverse customs.  For others (including myself) it was the whole food thing. What on earth would a picky eater like me eat? Should I drink the water? Some people from our group were afraid of flying and getting on that plane in Philly was their first step out of their comfort zones. Several team members left their spouses and children at home; for some it was the first time they left their children. All of these steps required courage and I’m so proud of everyone for being brave to serve the Lord.

What really blew me away was the emotional and physical strength of the team. Our team was made up of all shapes, sizes, ages and backgrounds. Most of us weren’t very experienced builders (thank God for those who were). Before I picked up a hammer, I thought I was pretty handy. I grew up with my Pop-Pop who was a carpenter and I tinkered with him in his shop for hours on end. Yeah well, his skills didn’t clearly didn’t make it to me. The first day I started to help with the framing, my nails kept bending over. I got SO frustrated. Quite frankly, I don’t like to do things that I’m not good at (surprise, surprise some of you are saying). Thanks to the encouragement of one of my team members, I was a nail driving beast in no time.  

That week, I watched people who never had picked up a tool in their lives, learn new things, all to help a family in need. As the days went on, frustration turned to pride and self-doubt turned to achievement. I witnessed total strangers become great friends. I saw good people working side by side to accomplish a common goal.

I watched people tap into an inner strength that they probably thought wasn’t possible. It requires a ton of physical endurance to build a home in 3 days, yet there was a job for all abilities. I saw young people work harder than I ever expected, carrying and shoveling stone for hours on end with NO complaining. I watched as men and women pick-axed ground that was filled with solid rock until I thought their shoulders and hands were going to give out. I saw people up on roof tops cutting and measuring siding even though they had never done it before. Our team worked tirelessly to power through swollen knees, aching backs, migraines, blistered feet, inflamed muscles. And when I say power through, I seriously mean power through, the people I worked with gave until it hurt and then some. I am so glad I got to be a part of such an amazing experience, I can’t WAIT to (hopefully) go back next year.

We tried, we sighed, on occasion we cried, and when we turned that home over to that family, we high-fived! J

I’d like to take a moment to ask you to think about something you’ve been meaning to do, but you’re just not sure if you can. Close your eyes. Picture yourself doing it. You’re there! You made the choice to give it a whirl. Guess what? You’re succeeding! Why?

Because you can. Because you are amazing. Because you are brave.

You are stronger than you’ll ever know, unless you give something new a try.

Ask for help. Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

Cupcake Bellyache

If you didn’t figure it out by now, I’m a sucker for all things sweet. Growing up, I was on a first name basis with Tastycake, Hostess and Little Debbie. When I was a little girl, my Mom-Mom used to cut up white powdered Hostess donuts into these delicate little pieces and she brought them to me on a TV tray.

And today, of course, I still love me some butterscotch krimpets. Especially after being in the refrigerator, that way the icing doesn’t stick to the wrapper. ;) But do you know what I love more? Being in control of my life and what I eat. I know that every time I eat, I have a choice and I can change my life, choice by choice by choice.

There’s an article in Weight Watcher’s magazine that talks about the fact that we make over 200 food decision each day. To eat or not to eat? Am I hungry or not? Maybe I’m just thirsty? Do I super-size it? Dressing on the salad or on the side? Would I like an apple pie with that? Should I have seconds?  Do I reach into the bread basket? Low-fat or regular yogurt?

What I love about Weight Watcher’s is that you can have your cake and eat it too. Sure, maybe not the whole cake, but a slice, why not? Tonight, I had two Tastycake chocolate cream filled cupcakes and I’m not ashamed. They were dee-lish! As a matter of fact, I made sure to lick any remaining icing off the wrapper. And hey, it’s OK. I’ve lost 34 pounds by making smart choices (most of the time). It’s about balance. Find a program or a strategy that lets you live your life, real life.

Real life isn’t about feeling deprived. It isn’t about being sad because you can’t have that favorite treat that you love. Real life doesn’t involve shakes, bars or the latest diet trends. In real life, who has time for an ONLY low fat, no fat, gluten free, dairy free, meat free, carb free, shake some chemicals on my food so I won’t eat it diet? Enough already!

How about eating real food that you enjoy in moderation? I know, that’s crazy talk, but it’s true. You have the choice, every single day to make smart decisions that will help you to take the best care of you. I’m not saying it’s easy, but it’s doable, achievable and livable. Imagine being able to live a healthy life, enjoying what you eat. That is the gift that Weight Watcher’s has given me. The program has taught me how to make wise choices, choosing foods that will fuel my body- fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, reduced fat dairy. Real food for real life- allowing me to have some treats in between. Combine those wise choices with moderation, portion control, activity and behavior change and that’s a powerful equation for success! I’m not here to be an advertisement for Weight Watcher’s, there are other programs out there, find the program that works best for you.  

My boss used to say “at least fat people are always happy. It’s those skinny bi-a-tches that are grumpy all the time”. Of course I’m poking fun at something very serious here. My point? You don’t have to polish off the entire Tastycake box until you have a cupcake bellyache. It’s your choice to make.

Please, please, PLEASE remember that you have the choice to live your life in a healthy, balanced way. You are not powerless to food. You can make the change for life- real life, YOUR life.

Ask for help. Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

Faith

“It doesn't matter what you've heard, impossible is not a word. It's just a reason for someone not to try. Everybody's scared to death, when they decide to take that step. Out on the water, it'll be alright”. ~Kutless (What Faith Can Do)

For those of you who have been following along, I’m extremely excited to say that as of yesterday, I am a certified Weight Watcher’s leader!!! This milestone means far more to me than being able to lead a Weight Watcher’s meeting. For me, it means keeping the faith when everything seems to be falling apart.  I want to share this story with you, my friends and readers, in hopes that you’ll see that in dark times, the sun is always shining behind the clouds. Sometimes you might not feel its warmth or see its light, but the possibility is always there.

Just a few short years ago, I was in a much different place emotionally and physically than I am now. I was in a job that didn’t let me be me. Sure, I was really good at my job, but just because you’re good at your job doesn’t mean that it’s THE job for you. My confidence dropped to an all-time low. I became really boxed in at work and because certain people put limits on me, I put limits on myself.

I was sick. I know I’ve shared my struggled with my neuralgia in previous posts. I was so darned sick. Dealing with chronic and daily pain is enough to send a person over the edge. The illness controlled everything I did. I could get pain from stress, pain from heat, pain from cold, pain from noise, pain from movement, pain from laughing. My illness put limits on me, so I put limits on myself.

My solution was food. I fed the pain. I fed the sadness. I fed the anger. I fed the exhaustion. I fed the frustration. I fed the desperation. The food was limitless. I could eat as much as I wanted, whenever I wanted. The food was always there. I was stuck in a never-ending cycle. Pain made me eat and food caused more pain, then pain made me eat again.

It really wasn’t until I had a little major breakdown in my neurologist’s office that I realized that I was allowing myself to be the victim. I remember sobbing hysterically in his office and saying “I’m so tired of fighting this illness”. And he said to me “stop fighting it, start living with it”. Start living. LIVING! And in the words of Oprah, that was an a-ha moment for me. I had gotten to the point where I wasn’t even living anymore. I was just going through the motions. I had spent so much energy fighting everything that was wrong, and going wrong, that I didn’t have enough energy to simply live.

Fast forward three years. I found alternative medicine (acupuncture), and I started living. I had the courage to go after a new job, and I started living. I began to take responsibility for what and how I was eating, and I started living. With every new step I took, the limits began to slowly fall away. When my doctor said “start living with it”, I heard start living. LIVING! And I realized that it was up to me to make a change. These changes did not, and will not, happen overnight. These changes have taken patience, reflection, discipline, self-forgiveness, the ability to ask for help, perseverance, humility and most of all faith. When I began this journey a few years ago, I had no idea where it would lead. I wasn’t sure I could believe in myself. I didn’t know if I had what it took to break free.

Yet I did, and here I am today. Taking leap after leap of faith, knowing that no matter what happens, I will land on my feet. And you will too!

 “Life is so much more, than what your eyes are seeing. You will find your way, if you keep believing.” ~Kutless (What Faith Can Do)

Ask for help. Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

You Are What You Think

“Think left and think right and think low and think high.

Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!”

Man, I LOVE Dr. Seuss books! They let us dream. They encourage us to imagine the impossible, or even better yet, to take the impossibility out of the picture altogether. They take us to another place and time; when we were invincible, energized, and optimistic. They remind us of a time when we truly believed that anything was possible. And so…what happens? We grow up. Life comes at us fast and hard and somewhere along the line we lose our thinks. We’ve tried and failed, and we get so jaded we forget to think high. We’ve risked and gotten hurt, so we forget to think low. And sooner or later, we stop trying. Now OK, I realize that I’m over-dramatizing here, but you get my point. When you stop thinking good things about yourself and wishing good things for yourself, those things stop happening.

This past year, I’ve been working really hard on my internal messaging-how I talk to myself. And let me tell you, the work that I’ve put into re-thinking my thinks has gone a long way. Are you saying to yourself right about now “what on earth are you talking about Tara”? Let me give you a few examples.

Reframing Your Thoughts

I only walked a mile today. BETTER- I walked a mile today and I feel great. EVEN BETTER- I walked a mile today and I’m going to walk a little bit farther tomorrow.

I’m trying to eat healthier. BETTER- I am going to eat healthier. EVEN BETTER I am going to eat healthier and can’t wait to get started, right now.

So what are we doing here? We’re taking out the negative words- only, try. And we’re replacing them with positive actions, feelings and outcomes- I feel great. I’m going to do a little more tomorrow. I am going to. I can’t wait to get started.

Positive Affirmations

When some of you see the words Positive Affirmations, maybe you start to think about Stuart Smalley from Saturday Night Live? “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!” While some of you may think that Positive Affirmations are cheesy, they work! They help you to think high. Positive Affirmations don’t have to be cheesy and they don’t make you arrogant or overconfident (hopefully). Positive Affirmations help you to think the best thinks about yourself.

Every week I have a new Positive Affirmation, depending on what’s going on in my week. This week, because I’m going through my Weight Watcher’s leader training, my Positive Affirmation is “I’m strong and courageous”.  I’ve repeated this in the car. I’ve said this at my desk. And today, when I had myself a little panic moment during training, I went to the bathroom, took a deep breath, and said out loud “I AM strong and courageous”. My heart rate started to slow and my confidence started to go up and I actually believed in what I was saying.

This week, I encourage you to think about the thinks you think. How are you talking to yourself? What words are you using? What emotions are tied to them? Do they make you want to think low and think high? Do they make you want to give something new a try?

Ask for help. Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

Get Me OFF of This Ride

The week leading up to and including my Weight Watcher’s leader training has been very much like riding a roller coaster. When I first signed up to be a WW leader I was stoked, pumped, all fired up! Like the feelings you have when you’re waiting in line for that roller coaster. You’re watching people high five and laugh as they come off the ride and you are thinking “sign me up! I’m ready! I can conquer this”!

Well I don’t know about you, but the longer I have to wait in line for a roller coaster, the more nervous I get. It’s such a swell of emotions, a mix of anxiety and excitement, thinking about what’s in store. I have time to watch the ride and as I get closer I realize just how big that first drop is and I start thinking “oh crap, why am I doing this”? That was how I started feeling toward the end of this week. As I reviewed my WW materials and thought about my journey ahead, I started to question my ability to take on the task at hand. I never questioned my desire, I WANT to be a WW leader, but I sure did question the courage it was going to take to finish the ride.

Next comes the ascent; that feeling of exhilaration as the roller coaster car slowly climbs the track. As you inch forward you realize that it’s best not to look back (or down). The car creeps upward; it feels like you’re climbing into the sky and then- fear! Suddenly I want to scream “get me off of this ride”! That’s about where I was the night before my training. I was belted in my coaster car, slowly trekking ahead. Reading my materials, practicing my presentation and then- fear! Holy moly, I’m trapped in my coaster car and there’s no way out! I’m half way up the hill, no turning back now! Why am I doing this? Can I do this? What if I mess up? Breathe Tara, breathe. Everything will be O-K. Remember how good it feels to rush down the other side.

Training day, now that was the true adventure. My coaster car whizzed down the track- total sensory overload. Everything’s going by so fast! I’m trying to take it all in. Some things clear, others a blur. It’s a whirlwind of nerves, joy and thrills. Should I keep my eyes open? Let go of the bar? Am I going to make it to the end of the ride? The training today was awesome and overwhelming, educational and fun. And boy oh boy was it worth the ride!

I don’t know about you, but when I experience an amazing roller coaster, I hop off and get right back in line. That’s exactly what I did after my WW training. Sure I was feeling a little disoriented and overwhelmed.  Yet the sheer joy that I felt at the end of the ride had me coming back for more.

Where are you in your journey? Are you thinking about getting on? Are you in line and totally pumped up for what’s ahead? Or maybe you’re thinking about turning back? Are you in the middle of a challenging climb? Or maybe you’re whooshing down the other side, wind in your hair? Wherever you are, keep your eyes forward. Tap into the courage it took you to get there. Remember where you’re headed and where you’ve come from. Savor the anticipation and enjoy the ride. It’s going to be incredible! Buckle up baby!

Ask for help. Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara