The Great Confessional

Well…well…well….yesterday I found myself face to face with…the great confessional…Every day…at a Weight Watchers meeting near you….its members face something with mighty and majestic powers…the scale. 

As a WW member and now a leader, it’s so interesting to watch people as they approach the scale…a.k.a. the great confessional.  Some approach with an “I’m all that and a bag of chips” confidence. Chin held high, they weigh in, maybe even wearing jeans, jewelry AND keeping their shoes on.  If you've weight in publically before, you know what I'm talking about with the jeans, jewelry and shoes. They know they had a great week and are excited to see their weight loss reflected on the scale.

Others are just not sure. As they wait in line, they can’t tell if they had a good or bad week. They think they had a good week and based on their behaviors all signs point to yes, yet they’re a bit unsettled about it. They shuffle their feet, wring their hands, glance around the room avoiding all eye contact and patiently wait their turn to be weighed.

Lastly, there are those who are very sure that facing the scale is their come to Jesus moment. All of the sudden that scale becomes the great confessional.  We’ve all been there right? Speaking from experience, it goes a little something like this.  On a day such as this, as I’m dressing for my WW meeting, I put on my lightest clothes possible.  I definitely DO NOT eat before my meeting but I do bring a snack and a water to eat AFTER my weigh in. As I drive to the meeting, I replay my bad choices in my head thinking “what the he@$ is a matter with you Tara, you KNOW better?” By the time I actually get to the meeting, I’m already in a tizzy. I (of course) hit the bathroom getting every ounce of pee out of my system. Waiting in line for the scale, I fidget and jitter around like I have ants in my pants and am facing the Queen of France. When it’s my turn to weigh in, I strip down to what’s socially acceptable without going naked.  And then, the great confession begins. It starts something like “I already know what the scale is going to say. I’m sure I gained. I didn’t drink enough water. I ate out three times. I drank too much coke.  I couldn’t exercise because I was sick. I didn’t write down my food. I had my period. Chocolate. Chocolate. Chocolate. Work stressed me out. The dog ate my homework”. Soon I sound like some sad, bad country music song that’s playing the score of my life.

As I’m blurting my confession out to my leader or the receptionist and I hear her whisper that I’ve gained, suddenly what I’m hearing is “You’re a failure. You didn’t try hard enough. How could you do this to yourself? You’ve been doing this for 16 years. You should be perfect.  How could you get this wrong? You know better.”

This week, after not weighting in for a month and that month being the holiday season, I knew my weigh-in was not going to be pretty. Add to that a broken foot, being on exercise restriction combined with just getting back from an all-inclusive all you can eat vacation…I knew it was not going to be pretty, it was going to be downright ugly.  And I was right, I gained 2.6 pounds. I must admit that while I was prepared for a gain, I was not prepared for that gain and it sent me reeling for the rest of the day.

Yet today is another day and while I was folding laundry and watching Super Soul Sunday on OWN, I heard Martha Beck say “what you believe and what you expect is what you will get”.  That hit close to home for me as I reflected on my actions of the past month.  Because it was the holiday season, and I had a broken foot, and I was going on an all-inclusive all you can eat vacation, I expected a gain and that’s exactly what I got.

I’m not surprised by this, but I am disappointed with myself. Because I know that if I truly wanted to, I could have lost the weight. And I know that if I set out to do so, I could have maintained my weight.  It’s like when you were a kid and one of your parents instead of yelling at you gave you that look that said “you know better and I am very disappointed”. Sigh…exhale...

I know that I have more power than that mighty and majestic scale.  I know that I have the tools, the knowledge, the will, the determination, the grit and the positive attitude it takes to conquer the great confessional.  

Next week I expect to see a loss on the scale. Even though I still can’t exercise, I can control my eating habits and behaviors. I will not use the inability to exercise or any other excuse to sabotage my wellness journey.

No-one or no-thing should have power over you.

I repeat, do not give people or things power over you.

You control you.

Not others, not your past, not your future, not your circumstance.

Y-o-u control you.

Set a goal for yourself this week and know that "what you believe and expect is what you will get". 

Expect the best and amazing things will happen for you.

Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Ask for help. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara