Happy YOU Year

And so it begins, the barrage of commercials for fitness products and wellness plans that conveniently happen just as we are about to start the new year.  Their timing is impeccable. Most of us are walking around in bleary-eyed exhaustion from the whirlwind of the holidays. We’ve most likely overindulged in some way, maybe with our finances, food, alcohol…and then these commercials scream out to us they they’re here to save the day! To make us feel better, be better, look better, do better…and we are drawn to them like Pepé Le Pew to his one true love.

I’ve never been a big new year’s resolution kind of gal. Maybe because I’m a rebel and if everyone else is doing it, I don’t want to. Ok, well…I’m not much of a rebel… 

I like to think that I’m not a fan of new year’s resolutions because of the way they’re perceived, that resolutions are seen as temporary or fleeting.  Either way, I was curious about the resolution trend, so I Googled new year’s resolutions and thanks to Empoweredpres.com, found the top ten new year’s resolutions from 2011. In 2011, people vowed to:

10. Help people.

9. Spend more time with family.

8. Get out of debt.

7. Learn something new.

6. Organize yourself.

5. Quit drinking.

4. Enjoy life more.

3. Lose weight.

2. Get in shape.

1. Stop smoking.

All of these seem pretty productive and some downright necessary. So why the issue with new year’s resolutions? A resolution after all is nothing more than a declaration to make a change.

Maybe it’s really the post-resolution actions we have a problem with; the follow through that’s needed to make the change happen.

For those of you that are regular readers, you might have noticed that I close each blog post with the same words. Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Ask for help. Continue with courage.

2013 is right around the corner. What is ONE change you want to make in the coming year?

Make the choice to make a change. Give the change a voice. Write it down or vocalize your goal to a friend. It’s your life, it’s your choice.

Commit to the choice. Develop a plan of action to make the change happen. Write your plan down and share it with a friend. A very wise colleague of mine reminded me that if action is not taken within 30 days, it usually doesn’t happen. Don’t start next week or tomorrow, start today.

Ask for help. Those top 10 new year’s resolutions listed above, they are NO joke. As Rick Warren said, "we are made to get well in community with each other". You do not need to do this alone. Recruit a friend to come along on the change journey with you. This person should not just be your cheerleader, but someone who will keep it real with you at all times.  

Continue with courage.  This might be the hardest part. This is where you’ll need to dig deep. As we all know, change does not and will not happen overnight. It might take weeks, months or even years. Believe in yourself.  Believe that you’ve got it going on. Believe that you can do it.

Know that you’ve been given the desire, knowledge, talent, skills, determination and courage to make it happen. 

It's going to be a happy YOU year!

Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Ask for help. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

Mary Did You Know

Over the past week I’ve been deliberating on what I wanted to write about as we head into the New Year. I wanted it to express how blessed I feel in so many ways. I wanted to share how good it feels to be healthy and to ask others to join me.  I wanted to send a call to action to be well, not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually. Yet I wasn’t sure how to start and what to say.

Before my blogging days, I just liked to write. I’d write little stories and poems and I’d share those words with folks who I thought needed them. This was back before the days of social media so I’d use something called e-mail to reach out to people. I wrote the story below when our daughter experienced a traumatic gymnastics injury, went through a few surgeries and a year of physical therapy. I wrote it at Children’s Hospital (CHOP) as I was surrounded by children who were far more ill than our daughter.

While sitting at CHOP waiting for Ashlee to come out of surgery, I was seated directly in front of a small wheelchair. It was obviously a customized wheelchair that got a lot of use.

The name Mary was embroidered in pink thread on back of the chair. A Cinderella backpack hung from the side of the wheelchair.

And I sat and waited, staring at the chair.

I looked at how small the wheelchair was and the oxygen canister that was hooked to the chair. I looked at the straps that held the child in and imagined that she had no body control. The chair had brackets to hold her wobbly head in place.

I watched her parents sit and wait.

And I sat and waited, staring at Mary’s chair.

I thought about Mary’s family. What pain they must have endured, what life lessons did they learn?

And I thought about my family. How privileged we are.  Ashlee’s injury is a minor life inconvenience. Will it be hard?  Yes.  Am I tired- yes? But it’s just an arm, and it’s just temporary.

What lessons would we learn from this?

Would we appreciate each day?

Would we see life as a gift?

Would we live in each moment with each other?

Or would we go back to our self-centered ways?

Irritated by traffic…dramatic about work… agitated about finances…frantic about schedules…vain in our appearances… troubled by relationships.

Would we ever think about Mary again? Her adorable little wheelchair with the pink lettering and the Cinderella backpack.

I’ll bet that the most basic pleasures in life would bring Mary joy- to be able to speak, walk, eat, think and breathe on her own.

And at that moment it all connected with me- Mary…Mary…Mary…

Was there another Mary who long ago sacrificed her son for me?

If this son died for my very life…was I living each day in His joy?

Was I living for His pleasure or for mine?

What or who is your joy today?

I never met Mary’s family, nor did I ever get to see Mary. We left the waiting room before Mary came out of surgery. I’ll never forget how I felt that day at CHOP.  I suddenly realized that living a life of joy is not only mine for the taking, it’s mine for the making. I was reminded that with every obstacle that comes my way, I have the choice to make the best of it.  

Are you making the most out of what has been given to you?

What or who is your joy today? Let's work together to find that joy and to share it with others in the New Year!

Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Ask for help. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

Explosion of Joy

Isn’t it amazing how something or someone comes into your life just when you need it most? Whether it’s a special friend or family member that shows up at just the right time, a song lyric that strikes a chord, words in a book that speak to your heart or maybe a message from a TV show or movie.

This past weekend, I was watching Super Soul Sunday on OWN and they featured a video short by Soul Pancake called Heart Attack. If you have 3 minutes to spare, click here.

Soul Pancake set up a button on a busy boardwalk that said “Need some love? Push here!” 

Some people didn’t even notice the button and kept going about their day. Some slowed down, giving a curious glimpse, even back tracking to look at it again, but they didn’t press the button. Those who pressed the button, well, they got quite the surprise. They received an explosion of joy! A compartment opened up and out came people dressed up as hearts, holding balloons, shooting streamers and saying I LOVE YOU. Watch the video, it’s bound to make you smile and who doesn’t need a little stress relief this time of year. The reactions of those who pressed the button are priceless. I love the manly man who was being circled by hearts dancing around him. He’s got a huge grin on his face and has his hands in the air, just celebrating being celebrated.

When was the last time you were loved like that? Or the last time you showed someone love like that?

Have you ever given yourself permission to love yourself like that?  To celebrate who you are.

Seeing the joy-filled faces of perfect strangers in the video reminded me of how important it is to slow down, especially this time of year, to take the time to give and receive love. And to make time to take care of yourself, so that you can be your best you.    

In a few days, millions of people around the world with gather with family and friends to celebrate the great gift of love from our Creator.  A love that was sent to this earth to fill us with hope, peace, joy and life everlasting. I can’t help but imagine that when we receive the gift of love from our Creator, it’s like pushing that red button that says “Need some love? Push here!”  

When we push that red button, the heavens explode with joy. And just like the manly man in that video, we are circled by hearts dancing around us. And our Creator, He’s got a huge grin on his face and has his hands in the air celebrating us, for exactly who we are, for exactly who He created us to be.

I wish you and your loved ones a holiday season filled with unexpected explosions of joy!

And look forward to sharing another year of good health, happiness and wellness with you!

Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Ask for help. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

The Bystander

We’ve all heard the saying “eyes are the window to the soul”, but how about “eyes are the mirror of the heart?” One of my favorite things about being a Weight Watcher’s leader is being able to connect with people from all walks of life. Before, during and after the meetings, I do my best to ensure that members feel valued, heard and well cared for. And although I’m using my ears to listen to their stories of triumph and struggle, I’m using my eyes to peek into their hearts.

When I look into certain members eyes, I see my own heart. Not my heart now, but my heart as it was when I was in so much pain, cloaked in darkness.  I see people who are tired. Not just physically tired, but emotionally tired. Tired of struggling to lose weight; asking if the effort is really worth the sacrifice. I see people who are lost. They look in the mirror and don’t even recognize the face staring back at them. They self-loathe and berate, wondering how they let themselves go, not just in gaining weight but in losing track of life. They’ve spent days, months, maybe even years looking from the outside in. They’ve become a bystander in their own lives.

Yet in others I see light. I see men and women who are filled with hope. People who have joined together to celebrate this thing we call life. Side by side they reach important milestones- losing 5% of their weight, 10% of their weight, reaching GOAL and becoming a Lifetime Member.  They celebrate the non-scale victories just as whole-heartedly as they do the weight loss victories. Those non-scale victories are what help them to leave their bystander days behind. 

They start living again: Taking risks. Trying new things. Facing trials head on.

They are brave and courageous. 

They are filled with peace, gratitude and joy.

Do you want to be a bystander in your own life? Or do you want to: 

Take risks. Try new things. Face trials head on.

Life might seem dark to you right now, but remember you can’t experience light without darkness. Hope always overcomes despair.

It’s your time to shine.

Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Ask for help. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

Begin Again

For those of you who have been at this weight loss gig for a long time, I wonder what you find more challenging- the actual weight loss or long term maintenance?

Having been on both sides of the fence, I find they’re both equally challenging. Losing and maintaining require the same amounts of commitment, endurance, planning, focus, perseverance and a positive outlook.   

For me, losing the weight slowly and maintaining for the long term has required an ongoing reinvention of myself.  

“People have forgotten how to tell a story. Stories don't have a middle or an end anymore. They usually have a beginning that never stops beginning”.  ~Steven Spielberg

Good point Mr. Spielberg, or can I call you Steven?  Yet I kind of like the idea of a beginning that never stops beginning. Isn’t that what wellness is? Diets have beginnings and endings. Being healthy and fit for life is a beginning that never stops beginning.

Too many times I’ve watched people go on a hard core diet and most times they lose successfully. But they are so starved and deprived in the end that six months later the weight (and then some) has come back. I’ve not only watched people repeat this cycle, I’ve done it myself.

If you are losing weight currently, or have a goal to lose weight in the new year, I challenge you to take a look at your weight loss approach.  Make sure your goals are S.M.A.R.T.

·         Specific

·         Measurable

·         Achievable

·         Realistic/Relevant

·         Time bound

Replace the word “diet” with being well, getting fit or achieving good health.  

Remember that the changes you make should be maintainable for life.  

Overall wellness is a beginning that never stops beginning.  At the company I work for, when we were designing our strategic plan last year, we boiled the actions down to “how can we get better"? 

What can you do right now (not tomorrow- right NOW) to start getting better? Every day is the perfect time to begin again.

Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Ask for help. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

Hi-bear-nation

Right about this time of year, I turn into a grumpy bear that would rather be wearing my pajamas, snuggled under my covers than going outside. I start to gather up food and fill my tummy for the winter and so begins my hi-bear-nation.

I don’t know about you, but I find this to be my most challenging time of year to stick to a wellness plan.  When I’m cold, I feel the need to eat, mostly carbs. I’m sure there is some scientific or psychological explanation for this. My favorite summer fruits are out of season and even the veggies seem lackluster. It’s tougher to get outside to exercise because it gets dark at 5pm. And don’t even get me started on the holidays- the pace, the gatherings centered around food, the stress and exhaustion. No wonder I’m feeling grumpy. I can see why so many people abandon their wellness programs this time of year only to get back to them in the spring when that “oh my gosh I have to show my skin” or the “oh crap my shorts don’t fit” moment comes about.

Fellow hi-bear-nators, don’t dismay, for today I’d like to share with you one of my secret weapons I use to burst right through this season feeling energized, focused and in control. This secret weapon is free and you already have it- it’s your mind.  

Your mind is a mighty and powerful weapon. I’ve posted before that making life change is not about willpower, it’s about mind power. It’s about making up your mind to make a change and then using that brilliant noggin of yours to take actions that support the change. Today I want to talk about using your mind to identify and overcome hunger.

This time of year, I come down with what I like to call Yogi Bear Syndrome. We’ll call it YBS for short.  I’m foraging through the stores or my cabinet, looking for that next delicious pic-i-nic basket.  And like Yogi, I become obsessed by it and I’ll do any crazy antic to get past Ranger Rick and eat what I want.  When I’m caught up in my YBS, I don’t even realize that I’m not hungry.

YBS (while I must put a disclaimer here that it’s not a real syndrome J) can take over your mind. It tells you you’re hungry and you need more, more, more food…but you’re not and you don’t.  When this happens, it’s time to go from Yogi to more of a Boo-Boo. You know, Yogi’s best friend who’s always trying to talk some sense into him “well, I don’t know Yogi…that seems kind of…ah…dangerous”.

Use your mind to start listening to your body. Are you truly hungry? Has it been a while since you’ve eaten? Do you need energy and fuel? Does your stomach feel empty?

Or is there a different reason for your hunger? Are you bored? Tired? Stressed? Anxious? Angry? Depressed? Lonely?

Listen to your body. Are you feeding your feelings instead of fueling your body?

The first thing I do when I’m feeling hungry is stop and think. Most times, after I stop and ask myself the questions above, I realize that I’m not really hungry. Yet realizing that I’m not hungry doesn’t automatically stop me from eating. Wouldn’t it be great if it was that easy- “hey brain, I just discovered I’m not hungry so let’s move along with our day, no need to eat”. If only!!!

Here are a few things I do to hold off my hunger:

• I drink a filling low calorie beverage, for me it’s usually a glass of water. This time of year hot tea is great, it takes some time to drink, goes down slow and fills you up with warmth.
• I get my body moving. Often my desire to eat comes when I’m bored and most likely in front of the TV. That’s the perfect time to get moving.  If you’re stuck inside and don’t have any fitness equipment, there are a ton of free fitness videos online, even on YouTube. Use your stairs for cardio, grab two bottles of water for weights. I find the hardest part is just getting off the couch, and once I’m up, it feels good to get moving.  
• I get my mind moving. Crossword puzzles, Sudoku, scrap booking, knitting, journalling or playing Words with Friends are such a great distractions. I also love falling into a good book. It takes my mind to another world and it keeps my hands full of pages instead of food (yes I still read real paper books).
• I reach for a fruit, vegetable or low calorie snack.  Fruits and veggies are loaded with nutrients and fiber that keep you fuller longer.
• Lastly, if I’ve exhausted all other options, I eat what I’m craving. Maybe that’s not the mind-changing answer you were expecting but life is about living. And my life is about eating all things in moderation. Sometimes, I just want a slice of apple crumb pie. But instead of eating the whole pie, I have a slice.

I can’t tell you how important it is to remember how powerful your mind can be, especially this time of year. Don’t just think about what you’re eating, but WHY you are eating it.

Don’t hi-bear-nate, celebrate! Celebrate your power. Celebrate your courage. Celebrate this season.

Celebrate that you are taking steps toward a new and healthier you!

Ask for help. Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

Happy Heart

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! There’ll be much mistltoeing and hearts will be glowing…when loved ones are near! It’s the most wonderful time of the year!

I was in Macy’s the other day…shifting impatiently in line…because I was SOO hot…seriously about to have a heat stroke…eyeing up the Macy’s-branded bottle of water they sell at the register for like $10…  thinking I might just pay it because I was soooo hot and thirsty…and when I finally got to the register I said to the clerk “My g’awd! How can you stand it in here? It’s SO hot and Christmas music! Really?!? Hearing the same songs over and over again…doesn’t it make you want to shoot yourself?”

It was clearly not my most grace-filled moment. Somehow my inner monologue rolled right off my tongue. My dry, thirsty, tongue! It’s nuts watching all of those Black Friday videos on the news of people acting like crazed maniacs all to get the best deal on THE perfect gift for someone who might not even want said gift and most likely will forget about said gift in six months’ time. And there I was, being unkind and not-so-gracious to a poor clerk that was doing his best to keep calm amidst the chaos.  

Why is it that we get so jacked up over the holidays? From Halloween through New Year’s we run, run, run, so fast and so hard that we don’t even slow down enjoy it. Our “to do” lists multiply as we cross things off and it feels like only Santa himself can whip up some Christmas magic to help us get it all done. And during this time, what is it that goes to the very bottom of our “to do” list? We do. Our emotional and physical wellness becomes as frayed as our favorite Christmas sweater.

Not to put you in a panic, but there are 31 days left until Christmas day. The good news? That’s 31 days that you can put yourself at the top of your “to do” list--- your heart will thank you.

A few weeks ago, my sis in law posted this note on Facebook and I loved it. “Went to the gym and did my cardio then I walked 3 miles! It's not about weight loss, it's about heart gain! My heart is smiling!!”

I love, love, love the idea of thinking about exercise during this most wonderful time of the year, not as a burden, but as a way to make my heart smile. Here are a few more good reasons to exercise during this holiday season. You can:

·         Control your weight

·         Reduce your risk of cardiovascular disease

·         Reduce your risk for type 2 diabetes and metabolic syndrome

·         Reduce your risk of some cancers

·         Strengthen your bones and muscles

·         Improve your mental health and mood

·         Improve your ability to do daily activities and prevent falls (if you’re an older adult)

·         Increase your chances of living longer

To learn more, check out this article from the CDC: Benefits of Physical Activity .

I hope these are some compelling reasons for you to lace up those sneaks and put yourself at the top of your “to do” list this holiday season.

The gift of good health is a free gift you can give yourself! And the next time you see your reflection in that store window display, you might just see a lighter, brighter you!

Ask for help. Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

Guatemala Reflection #4: Gratitude

I’ve been saving my final Guatemala reflection on gratitude for Thanksgiving week. How clever, writing about gratitude on Thanksgiving, you’re welcome. J

Believe it or not, I’ve been struggling with this post. I could certainly write page after page about how my experience in Guatemala has made me much more appreciative of…well…everything. It’s pretty difficult to come back unchanged after visiting a place where people live in sugar cane shacks with tin roofs, in conditions that you just cannot fathom until you’re standing in the middle of them. And even then, you leave those conditions behind, coming home to what we consider everyday conveniences and what they would consider unimaginable luxuries- plumbing, HVAC, electric, paved roads, modern medicine, grocery stores and access to health care.

Truthfully, even five months after the trip, it’s extremely hard to reconcile how blessed we are versus other countries in the world. I wonder what those Guatemalan families would think of the never-ending gourmet selections at Wegman’s or the madness that is about to transpire on Black Friday at the King of Prussia mall?  I wish that while I was there I could have had deeper conversations with the families. If I could have sat down with them, I would have talked with them about contentment. As I wrote in Guatemala Reflection #2: Abundance, I believe that those families are far wealthier than most of us in the currencies of the heart- love, joy and gratitude.

Many people right now are posting their 30 Days of Gratitude and I have looked forward to reading their posts. I think it’s such a great exercise and reminder to celebrate what we've been given. As I thought about the families we met in Guatemala, I couldn’t help but wonder how they became so genuine, kind and gracious. How do they cultivate gratitude that stems not from circumstance but from within?

So instead of sharing my 30 Days of Gratitude, I’m sharing 30 Ways of Gratitude:

1. Create a gratitude journal. Start with one item. Add something new every day for the next year.

2. Reflect on your gratitude journal at least once a day.

3. Give thanks for the bad stuff too, it’s an integral part of what shapes who you are.

4. Inhale and exhale slowly and deeply. Feel the gift of oxygen filling your lungs, pumping through your heart.  You’re alive! Ain't that something?

5. Love without conditions.

6. Slow down.

7. Do something ridiculously fun.

The other day I saw some kids rolling down a hill into a pile of leaves. Remember how fun that used to be? I sat there for a few minutes soaking in their joy. Hope their parents didn’t think I was a stalker. J

8. Open your eyes to the beauty of nature that surrounds you.

9. Smile at stranger. Smiles are a free gift worth sharing.

10. Meet yourself exactly where you are and start from there.

11. Bask in the warmth of the sun as it shines over you.

12. Offer and accept apologies.

13. Remember that someone will always be better and worse off than you.

14. Love someone who is hard to love.

15. Forgive yourself.

16. When you’re tired, rest.

17. Make every day a celebration.

18. Open yourself to new experiences.  

19. Tell your loved ones why they are so special.  

20.  Break free from cycles of the past, they don’t and won’t define you.

21. You only get one body, love and take care of it.

22. See the value in everyone around you.

23. Redefine wealth.

24. Compliment someone- it might be the first nice thing they’ve heard all day.

25. Always give credit where it’s due.

26. Put people first on your “to do” list.

27. Make sure you’re measuring up to your standards, not everyone else’s.

28. Understand the difference between knowledge and wisdom.

29. Give whole-hearted hugs.

30. If you get stuck, go back to #1.  

Happy Thanksgiving!

Ask for help. Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

Lumps are for Potatoes, Not Breasts

That’s right you read correctly, lumps are for potatoes, not breasts. Well, truth be told, I like my potatoes smooth and creamy, but if push comes to shove, I’ll take lumps in my potatoes over my breasts any day!

A few weeks ago I went to my GYN because I was having constant pain and soreness in my left breast. Upon examination, she found a series of little lumps. This led to a mammogram and ultrasound to check things out. And oh what fun that is! As I sat in the Phoenixville hospital, anxiously awaiting my results, several things came to mind.

My Mom. My Mom died at age 31 from Hodgekin’s Lymphoma which had spread to her breasts and other parts of her body. Back in the early 80’s can-cer (as whispered in the movie St. Elmo’s Fire) was something there wasn’t a lot of research about nor were there many cures. So as I sat there in my over-exposed state, I gave a little shout out to my Mom and how much I missed her. I also gave thanks for how far we’ve come with cancer prevention and treatment and how many lives are saved each year.

Cancer survivors. The weeks leading up to my tests I was so scared and while I tried not to worry, I still did. I know some truly incredible cancer survivors. I can’t imagine the hell that they and their families went through during that time. They are my absolute heroes. One of my colleagues is going through cancer right now. I don’t know him well, because we work virtually and he has been sick since I started with the company but his wife writes this amazing blog. It’s candid, heart-wrenching, funny, painful and inspiring. One of my favorites is titled “Dear Cancer, I Hate You and I Thank You”, to read more click here. In this particular blog, she writes that we should do epic shit, because it matters. Even though I’ve never met her, her words touched me, even as I sat in the hospital waiting room.

My health. As I sat waiting for the doctor to come out and talk to me about my results, I couldn’t help but to give thanks for my good health. I thought to myself “if this is a not-so-good diagnosis, at least I’m facing it with my best foot forward”.  I am sincerely grateful that I am well. I am emotionally and physically fit. Not like six pack abs fit, but you know what I mean---healthy. Healthy organs and muscles. Healthy blood pressure and cholesterol.   Healthy mind and spirit. I am in a good place. I feel energized, happy and continue to count my blessings every single day.

The good news? My tests results came back free and clear and my diagnosis can be treated with vitamin E and a few other regimens. Excuse me while I whine for a brief moment about the fact that one of those other regimens is reducing chocolate AND caffeine. There are some things a girl just can’t live without…we’ll see.

Life is precious, don’t waste what you've been given.   

Give thanks for where you are in your wellness journey and take another step forward. 

Take one small step at a time and before you know it, you'll be amazed at how far you've come.

Ask for help. Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

The Buddy System

It’s drilled into us from a very young age to use the buddy system. In pre-school and kindergarten, we hold a friends hand (or a rope) while walking in line. In elementary school, we bring a buddy along in the hallways going from class to class. As teenagers and young adults, our parent’s encourage us to bring a friend when going someplace new or after dark. We go along with this system because it makes us feel safe, prepared and cared for.

Then…we become adults and we’re all like “pfff, I got this”! Why is it that sometimes when we’re facing challenges we won’t ask for help? How about when it comes to weigh loss? Why do we feel that we need to tackle such a huge life change alone?

My husband has been my support system since day one, doing whatever it takes to ensure I succeed. He’s been my biggest cheerleader, a shoulder to cry on and someone to vent to. Yet most times it’s been all about me and not so much about us living a healthy lifestyle together. Last March, my husband joined Weight Watcher’s online and since then he’s lost 27 pounds! He’s one pound from goal! I am extremely proud of his hard work and commitment to wellness. His sleep apnea is gone! His blood pressure and cholesterol numbers which were creeping up are back to normal levels. It’s so cool to watch the changes he’s made in his lifestyle and it makes my weight loss a lot easier to sustain. He and I have been together for 23 years and we’re the healthiest we’ve ever been.  I love how we’ve re-vamped our eating, cooking healthier versions of our favorite foods. I enjoy that our dates and even our vacations don’t need to revolve around food anymore; instead we try and do something active like hiking or biking.  

As the holidays approach, it's the perfect time to recruit someone to go through the weight loss process with you. It doesn’t have to be a spouse. It could be co-worker, friend or close family member. Maybe it’s someone sitting next to you in your Weight Watcher’s meeting or worshipping with you at church? It could be your parent or child. Your support person doesn’t necessarily need to live close by, not with all of the social media tools we have. A few weeks ago I met a mother that was losing weight with her daughter and they didn’t even live in the same state. They checked in with each other daily and they had certain goals they held each other accountable for. If they met their goals, they treated each other to meet up for fun outings. I loved hearing the way they partnered up to tackle such a big life change together. The buddy system was working for them.

You might be thinking, well that’s fine and dandy Tara, but broaching this subject is… ah---a bit awkward. Do I say “hey, I’m a little fluffy and I see you are too…wanna be my wellness buddy?” Perhaps you could say something more like “I’m really struggling with my weight and I could use your help. Would you be interested in holding me accountable or maybe even doing a program with me?” If that’s still a little too risky, start with an exercise class you’ve been wanting to try and ask someone to go along with you.

And remember, your wellness buddy could be someone who has already lost the weight. They might be just the resource you need to support your success.

Pastor Rick Warren said “we are made to get well in community with each other”. Think about that. As humans, our creator made us to partner with each other. To celebrate our joys and face challenges together.

We are made to love, support and encourage each other.  We’re not intended to go it alone.  

Ask for help. Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

C’mon In, the Water’s Fine

When you’re standing on the end of that diving board, toes wrapped around the edge to keep you from falling in, and you jump- one of three things can happen. 1) The water is f-f-f-reezing and you leap out, grab your towel and head for safety. 2) The water is f-f-f-reezing, but you decide to stay in and let your body get used to it. 3) The water is far warmer than you expected and much to your surprise, you’re having fun.

Somewhere between numbers two and three is exactly how I felt last Tuesday when I led my first Weight Watcher’s meeting. Upon walking through the meeting room doors and chatting with the receptionist (who was actually my field manager filling in for the receptionist), my body started to thaw out and relax. I took a few minutes to acquaint myself with the space, gather my materials, post my flip charts and write my name on the board- tonight’s leader is…Tara Watson! Modern Family fans, picture the slow goth clap that Cam received on his first night back as a music teacher. J

As the members started coming in, I had the opportunity to chat with them at the great confessional, the scale. I’ve done it myself, hopped on that scale and went into a monologue about what I did right that week and how I might have screwed up, all while waiting in anguish to see what the scale had to say.  It was really awesome and surprisingly intimate to share that weigh-in moment with each person.

Weight Watcher’s allows some time for members to weigh-in before the meeting starts, so I pecked back and forth between the scale and the meeting space like a nervous mother hen. As an introvert, I’m not a big work the room fan, yet hanging out in the meeting space before it started and getting to know people on a deeper level was really inspiring.

One of my biggest fears was a lack of attendance because- a) when people see a sub they usually don’t stay for the meeting and b) it was election night and c) the weather was cold and crappy. Our field manager mentioned that historically not many people come out on election night, and indeed this was the case. Seven people stayed for the meeting (talk about your confidence booster) and out of those seven, half were new. This made for quite a challenging learning environment. With so many new members, the room was fairly quiet.

I did my best to walk them through the meeting topic which was about Power Foods- foods that are high in fiber and low in fat- healthy and satisfying. I stuck with the election theme and went through a voting exercise about which Power Foods they would vote for and we closed with a lead-in to Thanksgiving. All in all, I think it went well. I was admittedly nervous and at one point I thought my throat might close up (thank God for bottled water). 

It wasn’t until after the meeting that I could step back and appreciate how much I enjoyed my time with that group of people. I learned just as much from them as they (hopefully) learned from me. Their eyes told their stories. Some were weary and hesitant. Some were pissed or perplexed about a weight gain. Others were curious and open. Some were confident and excited.

What really got me is the grit, determination and dedication it takes to make a change and stick with it. I was proud to be a small part of that change and I’m so glad I jumped into the pool- because as it turns out, the water was just fine.

Ask for help. Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

I Jumped

Back in July, which seems like forever ago, I posted that I had submitted my application to become a Weight Watcher’s Leader. The post was about taking risks and challenging yourself to try something new. If you missed it, click here.

Well, this past Tuesday night I took that jump AND I lived to tell about it. The week leading up to my first meeting was such a monkey on my back. As a matter of fact, when I was prepping for my meeting, I had mentioned to my husband that I was going to wear our son’s stuffed monkey on my back to the meeting and make a little joke about it. I thought it might be a good ice breaker, but he said I might want to tone it down a bit.

The day of the meeting I went into full panic mode. I started to think about what tragic event I would need to conjure up to get out of it. I mean seriously, don’t put anything past me. In elementary school, I was a chubby kid and I DREADED field day. A whole day dedicated to athleticism and sportsmanship- who needs it! So what did I do? I rubbed poison ivy leaves all over my body (I kid you not) in hopes to get out of field day, and did I ever! As it turns out, I was allergic. By the time that poison ivy was done with me, there wasn’t a part of my body that was spared. My eyes and throat swelled closed,  even my more private areas didn’t find safety. I ended up in the ER and got a few shots, but hey, I missed field day. Too drastic?

As I was driving to the meeting center, I considered a poison ivy regimen, but it was too late in the game for that- drats! How on earth was I going to get out of this? Food poisoning? A minor fender bender? A slip and fall? Argh, none of those ideas sounded rational. Yet who needs rational in a time of panic? I did. So I turned to the one person who never fails- the big man above.

Earlier in the week, I was watching Pastor Joel Osteen on OWN (yep still getting my Oprah fix). Now whether you like Pastor Osteen or you think he’s an over hyped televangelist, he’s got some good things to say. And one of the things he said that stuck with me is this-

 “it takes just as much energy to worry as it does to believe”.

Hollah! Why on earth was I worrying and stressing when I could simply believe that everything was going to be OK? Having faith (in God, in yourself, in others) is such a gift. If I believe that God has a plan for me (and I do), and that everything in my life has led up to this very moment and has prepared me for this path (and it has), why on earth was I in such a tizzy?

Although I was so nervous I thought I might- a) pass out or b) throw up or c) poop my pants, I started to calm myself down with prayer and deep gulps of breath.

What’s the worst that can happen? If this were my kids preparing for a big event, what would I tell them?

I was made to be a Weight Watcher’s leader.

I want to help others change their lives, one small step at a time.

My desire to help others far surpasses my fears and self-doubts.

God has prepared me for this day.

So then, after whining to my husband one last time---I gathered my wits, grabbed my materials and walked through those Weight Watcher’s meeting room doors.

Thanks to my family, friends and readers, for coming along on this journey with me, for encouraging me to take this jump. I can’t wait to share with you how the meeting went.

So come back next week and check out my post “C’mon in, the water’s fine”.

Ask for help. Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

Take 5 High Five

Why is it that when someone says “Take 5” I immediately conjure up images of a candy bar? You know, that scrumptious chocolate bar filled with caramel and pretzels and ooey- gooey deliciousness? Man, I could go for one of them right about now. Did someone say Halloween candy???

Today’s Weight Watchers meeting was about Taking 5. Not the candy bar…and no, not taking 5 pieces of candy. It was about taking five minutes for yourself each day to do a little self-reflection. This was such a timely message for me, I am SO glad I got out of bed and rolled into the meeting on this cold, blustery day.

I hadn’t been to a meeting in 3 weeks. As a Lifetime Member, I am only “obligated” to weigh in once a month. My goal is to attend every other week to make sure I’m staying on track. This is the first weigh-in, in quite some time that I gained. Oh you poor thing some might say, you’re four pounds below your goal weight and you gained. Admittedly I am under my goal weight and it feels fantastic, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t struggle every single day to make good choices.

The meeting today was about taking five minutes every day to do a self-assessment and I am going to put this into practice immediately. If you have a goal you are working toward, weight loss or otherwise, it’s extremely important to check in with yourself and honestly (sometimes painfully) assess how it’s going. Often times, we self-reflect after a failure thinking “well, I royally screwed that up”. And then we start to make a mental list of things we did wrong and before we know it, we’re so peeved that we don’t even want to try anymore.

How about a new approach? Take five minutes every day and write down what you are doing well. Give yourself a take five high five! Write down how awesome you are at something, anything. Maybe you took the time to plan out your day or you drank water. Perhaps you tried a new food or squeezed in an activity into an already a jam-packed day. Maybe you had only half a dessert or skipped the appetizer when out with friends. Or you made it through a really tough work day without turning to food. Whatever is was, write it down!

Next ask yourself, what can I do better? Once again write it down. What are you struggling with? What is one simple change you can make to get better? How can you put the change into action? For me, the small change is tracking my food again. After 15+ years of writing down what I eat, sometimes it becomes tiresome and I stop tracking. I say things to myself like “I know this! I got this!” But…I don’t. For me, writing down what I eat is super important to my long term success. It helps me stay in control and aware of the choices I’m making.

Lastly, assess the goal itself. What’s my goal? Is my goal the same as it was 6 months ago? What I’ve found is that my goals and motivations have changed throughout my weight loss process. Several times I’ve needed to refocus on what matters most to me and how I’m going to get there. I’m at that place right now; it’s time to re-assess what’s important to me.

Today’s meeting was a great reminder that I need to take the time each day to ask myself:  

What did I do well? What can I do better? What is my goal? Has it changed? How am I going to do to get there?

Ask for help. Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

Win, Lose or Draw

Ok, so don’t freak out…but we are a mere 6 weeks from Turkey Day. Yep, the day that is specifically designed for pajama jeans. I mean, who doesn’t want to wear pajama jeans to Thanksgiving dinner? With their incredibly stretchy waist band, we can certainly eat an extra piece of pumpkin pie, or three.

We are about to head into a blur of holiday activities that leaves our tummies full, our heads spinning and our wallets empty. For many years as a person who struggles with over-indulging, I absolutely dreaded the holiday season. The idea of being surrounded by food, not just food but scrumptious food, was just too much to handle. So here is what I did. Right around this time of year, the week before Halloween, as I began to bust open the Halloween candy bags, I would quit. My thoughts would go something like this “well…I think I’ll take a little break from my healthy eating and I’ll get back on track after the holidays…yeah…that’s what I’ll do…I’ll let myself eat whatever I want and then I’ll be such a good girl come January….in January, I’ll be a saint…a wellness guru…it’s just too hard to stay on track during the holidays…I want to enjoy what I eat…and there are way too many events to stay in control …yeah…January…”

Sound familiar? Every single year, never fail, I stopped my wellness plan in late October and like a big ol’ mama bear…I went into hibernation for a while.

But wait! It doesn’t have to be this way! I don’t mean to scare you, but there are 10 weeks until Christmas. Do you realize that if you stayed on track with your wellness regimen during the holiday season you could lose 5-20 pounds over those 10 weeks? How does that sound to you? Actually losing weight over the holidays? But wait! You have some other options.  

Anyone remember the game show Win, Lose or Draw? OK, I’m dating myself here. When I Googled the words win, lose or draw, I fell in love with one of the Yahoo answers. What does it mean when someone says win, lose or draw? One of the answers was “it means to get on with the contest and accept whatever results may ensue. The only possibilities are win, lose or draw”.

I love that! Why? It has become my approach when faced with the holiday season. For me, tackling the holidays head on is about strategy and choice. You have several choices, and they’re yours to make. You can decide that you want to lose weight during the holidays and stick with your wellness regimen throughout the holiday season. This might look like making mostly healthy food choices, exercising, and maybe indulging a bit on the actual holiday itself. You can choose to maintain at your current weight during the holidays.  Maybe this means for you that you’ll eat a bit more, have some of those dee-lish cocktails, but still exercise and maintain control overall of what you eat and drink. You can decide to allow yourself to gain a bit over the holidays, knowing that you can and will get back on track.

What I love about the definition of win, lose and draw above is the part about accepting whatever results may ensue. Isn’t that what this is all about? Your choice will lead to an action that will lead to a result. The result is purely up to you.

Envision where you want to be in January. Do you want to be thinner? Maintain? Or are you OK with gaining a bit of weight?

Develop a strategy and stick to it.

Feel good about the choices you’re making because YOU are in control.

When you develop a plan and take control, it’s not a win, lose or draw--- it’s a win-win!

Ask for help. Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

My Mother's Eyes

“For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run their fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.
People, more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms.
As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself and the other for helping others.” ― Sam Levenson

With Thanksgiving fast approaching, I cannot help but to give thanks for life. I used to be a little more diligent about this than I am now. For quite some time I kept a gratitude journal next to my bed and every night I added something new. Our daily lives whiz by in a blur and I think it’s extremely important to begin and end each day grounded in just how blessed we are.

As I began to think about gratitude, my mind wrestled with the fact that there is one thing that I continue to struggle to appreciate, my physical appearance. Isn’t it crazy that for most of us, our shape, size, eye color, hair color, skin texture…just isn’t quite enough?

Over the next week, I’d like you to join me in a gratitude exercise. Take out a piece of paper, post-it note, index card- something portable- and write down 3 things that you like about your physical appearance. Yes, 3 things! You can do it! And just to get you started, I’m going to share mine with you.

1) My eyes. A few years ago, when I had my eye exam, my eye doctor mentioned that I have a beautiful circle of gold around my pupils. Her word beautiful, not mine. Now I have certainly never really noticed anything spectacular about my plain ol’ hazel eyes, yet since she’s mentioned it I sometimes find myself glimpsing in the mirror and thinking “how about that? I do have gold around my pupils, that’s pretty special.”  I also very much appreciate that I have my mother’s eyes. My Mom died when I was 11. I don’t have many memories of her, nor do I particularly resemble her. Yet I definitely have my mother’s eyes, and sometimes when I look into them, I can see her looking back at me.

2) My legs. For the longest time, I viewed my legs as two stumps at the end of my torso, certainly nothing to write home about. Yet as I get older, I truly appreciate all of the work my legs do for me every single day without fail. They’ve carried my weight, no matter my size. They allow me to do fun activities like dancing, Zumba and hiking. My legs have helped me to tirelessly run after my kids, to walk in 5K’s to support a friend or to endlessly explore a pumpkin patch until we found THE perfect pumpkin. My legs might be short, but they’re strong and they support me.

3) My hips. Now this is a tough one. For most of my life, I have really despised my hips. It doesn’t matter how much weight I lose, I have wide hips. My Aunt calls them birthing hips, very funny (not). What I’ve found over the years, is that my hips are just right, just as they are. My Gran was a bigger woman, and I  used to love sitting on her lap and sinking into her curves that were made just for a grandchild to fit into. Well, the same goes for these hips of mine. They balance kids and grocery bags like nobody’s business. My kid’s always fit perfectly perched on one of my hips. I am thankful to have a spot that was meant just for them to snuggle into.

So now it’s your turn. Tonight before you go to sleep or tomorrow morning when you wake up, take some time to reflect about what makes you uniquely you. Write it down. Post those words on your desk or your refrigerator; maybe on your car or bathroom mirror. Read the words out loud. 

Believe them. Live them. Give thanks for them.

Be thankful for who are you, you are just as God created you to be.

Ask for help. Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara