The Buddy System

It’s drilled into us from a very young age to use the buddy system. In pre-school and kindergarten, we hold a friends hand (or a rope) while walking in line. In elementary school, we bring a buddy along in the hallways going from class to class. As teenagers and young adults, our parent’s encourage us to bring a friend when going someplace new or after dark. We go along with this system because it makes us feel safe, prepared and cared for.

Then…we become adults and we’re all like “pfff, I got this”! Why is it that sometimes when we’re facing challenges we won’t ask for help? How about when it comes to weigh loss? Why do we feel that we need to tackle such a huge life change alone?

My husband has been my support system since day one, doing whatever it takes to ensure I succeed. He’s been my biggest cheerleader, a shoulder to cry on and someone to vent to. Yet most times it’s been all about me and not so much about us living a healthy lifestyle together. Last March, my husband joined Weight Watcher’s online and since then he’s lost 27 pounds! He’s one pound from goal! I am extremely proud of his hard work and commitment to wellness. His sleep apnea is gone! His blood pressure and cholesterol numbers which were creeping up are back to normal levels. It’s so cool to watch the changes he’s made in his lifestyle and it makes my weight loss a lot easier to sustain. He and I have been together for 23 years and we’re the healthiest we’ve ever been.  I love how we’ve re-vamped our eating, cooking healthier versions of our favorite foods. I enjoy that our dates and even our vacations don’t need to revolve around food anymore; instead we try and do something active like hiking or biking.  

As the holidays approach, it's the perfect time to recruit someone to go through the weight loss process with you. It doesn’t have to be a spouse. It could be co-worker, friend or close family member. Maybe it’s someone sitting next to you in your Weight Watcher’s meeting or worshipping with you at church? It could be your parent or child. Your support person doesn’t necessarily need to live close by, not with all of the social media tools we have. A few weeks ago I met a mother that was losing weight with her daughter and they didn’t even live in the same state. They checked in with each other daily and they had certain goals they held each other accountable for. If they met their goals, they treated each other to meet up for fun outings. I loved hearing the way they partnered up to tackle such a big life change together. The buddy system was working for them.

You might be thinking, well that’s fine and dandy Tara, but broaching this subject is… ah---a bit awkward. Do I say “hey, I’m a little fluffy and I see you are too…wanna be my wellness buddy?” Perhaps you could say something more like “I’m really struggling with my weight and I could use your help. Would you be interested in holding me accountable or maybe even doing a program with me?” If that’s still a little too risky, start with an exercise class you’ve been wanting to try and ask someone to go along with you.

And remember, your wellness buddy could be someone who has already lost the weight. They might be just the resource you need to support your success.

Pastor Rick Warren said “we are made to get well in community with each other”. Think about that. As humans, our creator made us to partner with each other. To celebrate our joys and face challenges together.

We are made to love, support and encourage each other.  We’re not intended to go it alone.  

Ask for help. Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara