You Are What You Think

“Think left and think right and think low and think high.

Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!”

Man, I LOVE Dr. Seuss books! They let us dream. They encourage us to imagine the impossible, or even better yet, to take the impossibility out of the picture altogether. They take us to another place and time; when we were invincible, energized, and optimistic. They remind us of a time when we truly believed that anything was possible. And so…what happens? We grow up. Life comes at us fast and hard and somewhere along the line we lose our thinks. We’ve tried and failed, and we get so jaded we forget to think high. We’ve risked and gotten hurt, so we forget to think low. And sooner or later, we stop trying. Now OK, I realize that I’m over-dramatizing here, but you get my point. When you stop thinking good things about yourself and wishing good things for yourself, those things stop happening.

This past year, I’ve been working really hard on my internal messaging-how I talk to myself. And let me tell you, the work that I’ve put into re-thinking my thinks has gone a long way. Are you saying to yourself right about now “what on earth are you talking about Tara”? Let me give you a few examples.

Reframing Your Thoughts

I only walked a mile today. BETTER- I walked a mile today and I feel great. EVEN BETTER- I walked a mile today and I’m going to walk a little bit farther tomorrow.

I’m trying to eat healthier. BETTER- I am going to eat healthier. EVEN BETTER I am going to eat healthier and can’t wait to get started, right now.

So what are we doing here? We’re taking out the negative words- only, try. And we’re replacing them with positive actions, feelings and outcomes- I feel great. I’m going to do a little more tomorrow. I am going to. I can’t wait to get started.

Positive Affirmations

When some of you see the words Positive Affirmations, maybe you start to think about Stuart Smalley from Saturday Night Live? “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!” While some of you may think that Positive Affirmations are cheesy, they work! They help you to think high. Positive Affirmations don’t have to be cheesy and they don’t make you arrogant or overconfident (hopefully). Positive Affirmations help you to think the best thinks about yourself.

Every week I have a new Positive Affirmation, depending on what’s going on in my week. This week, because I’m going through my Weight Watcher’s leader training, my Positive Affirmation is “I’m strong and courageous”.  I’ve repeated this in the car. I’ve said this at my desk. And today, when I had myself a little panic moment during training, I went to the bathroom, took a deep breath, and said out loud “I AM strong and courageous”. My heart rate started to slow and my confidence started to go up and I actually believed in what I was saying.

This week, I encourage you to think about the thinks you think. How are you talking to yourself? What words are you using? What emotions are tied to them? Do they make you want to think low and think high? Do they make you want to give something new a try?

Ask for help. Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

Get Me OFF of This Ride

The week leading up to and including my Weight Watcher’s leader training has been very much like riding a roller coaster. When I first signed up to be a WW leader I was stoked, pumped, all fired up! Like the feelings you have when you’re waiting in line for that roller coaster. You’re watching people high five and laugh as they come off the ride and you are thinking “sign me up! I’m ready! I can conquer this”!

Well I don’t know about you, but the longer I have to wait in line for a roller coaster, the more nervous I get. It’s such a swell of emotions, a mix of anxiety and excitement, thinking about what’s in store. I have time to watch the ride and as I get closer I realize just how big that first drop is and I start thinking “oh crap, why am I doing this”? That was how I started feeling toward the end of this week. As I reviewed my WW materials and thought about my journey ahead, I started to question my ability to take on the task at hand. I never questioned my desire, I WANT to be a WW leader, but I sure did question the courage it was going to take to finish the ride.

Next comes the ascent; that feeling of exhilaration as the roller coaster car slowly climbs the track. As you inch forward you realize that it’s best not to look back (or down). The car creeps upward; it feels like you’re climbing into the sky and then- fear! Suddenly I want to scream “get me off of this ride”! That’s about where I was the night before my training. I was belted in my coaster car, slowly trekking ahead. Reading my materials, practicing my presentation and then- fear! Holy moly, I’m trapped in my coaster car and there’s no way out! I’m half way up the hill, no turning back now! Why am I doing this? Can I do this? What if I mess up? Breathe Tara, breathe. Everything will be O-K. Remember how good it feels to rush down the other side.

Training day, now that was the true adventure. My coaster car whizzed down the track- total sensory overload. Everything’s going by so fast! I’m trying to take it all in. Some things clear, others a blur. It’s a whirlwind of nerves, joy and thrills. Should I keep my eyes open? Let go of the bar? Am I going to make it to the end of the ride? The training today was awesome and overwhelming, educational and fun. And boy oh boy was it worth the ride!

I don’t know about you, but when I experience an amazing roller coaster, I hop off and get right back in line. That’s exactly what I did after my WW training. Sure I was feeling a little disoriented and overwhelmed.  Yet the sheer joy that I felt at the end of the ride had me coming back for more.

Where are you in your journey? Are you thinking about getting on? Are you in line and totally pumped up for what’s ahead? Or maybe you’re thinking about turning back? Are you in the middle of a challenging climb? Or maybe you’re whooshing down the other side, wind in your hair? Wherever you are, keep your eyes forward. Tap into the courage it took you to get there. Remember where you’re headed and where you’ve come from. Savor the anticipation and enjoy the ride. It’s going to be incredible! Buckle up baby!

Ask for help. Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

Make It a Great Day

Back in the 90’s I had a colleague, who shall go unnamed, that had a very irritating voice mail greeting. The beginning of the greeting was standard “Hi, you’ve reached such and such. I’m unavailable to take your call at this time. Please leave your name, number and a brief message and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.” And then…the clincher… “make it a great day!” Now say it out loud in a high-pitched and overly cheery voice “make it a great day!” Ugh!!! It annoyed the living daylights out of me. I mean didn’t it occur to her that when I called and got her voice mail that potentially, on occasion, especially at work….MY DAY WASN’T SO GREAT!?!

These past two weeks haven’t been so great for me, as a matter of fact, they’ve been downright stressful. I’m not going to fill this page with my whining, moaning and complaining, but please do let me get out of my system. Whine. Moan. Complain. There…I feel MUCH better now! 

What I will say is that, even though I’ve lost 30+ pounds and am a Weight Watcher’s evangelist who practices what she preaches (for the most part). Stress can get the very best of my well intentioned eating habits. What happens to your healthy eating habits when it’s not such a great day?

As I’ve mentioned a time or so in this blog, many of us, including myself, use food as a medication to fix our pain, soothe our souls and ease our hurts. But let’s get real here. You know, as well as I do, that food is not the fix. You may be thinking to yourself “girl, I have so much pain right now, and am so caught up in a cycle of over-eating that I don’t know where the pain ends and the food begins.”  And for that I can truly say, I’m sorry. I’m sorry you’re hurting so bad that food seems like your only friend and solace. I’ve been to that painful place and on occasion, I go back there; but I don’t stay as long as I used to.  

The good news is there’s a way out. YOU can break this cycle. You have the power right in between those beautiful ears of yours- your mind. You can use your mind to develop a strategy (or a variety of strategies) to help you cope with your overeating triggers. And you don’t have to go it alone. Enlist a friend or reach out to an expert in wellness. There are endless resources out there designed to help you regain control, to lose and maintain your weight. I just happen to be a proponent of Weight Watcher’s.  Whether it’s group meetings, one-on-one counseling, online tools, books, church- there is a system out there for you that WILL work for you.  

I’ve certainly had my ups and downs over the past few weeks. I’ve had days where I made unhealthy choices and I’ve had days where I was a wellness rock star (in my mind at least). The point is we’re all going to have days that just plain annoy the living daylights out of us and stress may just win. It’s about having more good days than bad and finding ways to manage those rough days instead of letting them manage you.

Ask for help. Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage. And don’t forget to “make it a great day!”  J

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

Thumpity Thump Fear

Well, it’s official! I start my Weight Watcher’s leader training on September 8^th! Can I get an amen? Some of you reading this might be thinking big-whoop-dee-do….but what I’m thinking, no, what I’m feeling is yahoooooooooooo!

Have you ever set a goal for something that you REALLY wanted to accomplish? I mean REALLY wanted? Did you reach your goal? Or did you let your thumpity thump fear stop you in your tracks?

When I walked out of those meeting room doors this past Saturday, holding my leader paperwork, I was absolutely overjoyed. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m very aware of the hard work that it’s going to take to get through the certification process, yet I am still blissfully excited about what lies ahead. Because I want it THAT badly! I have dreamed about being a Weight Watcher’s leader for 15 years and I’m finally going for it!

At the beginning of the group interview/orientation process, I was a nervous wreck. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect nor was I certain what was expected of me. At one point while sitting there, I honestly thought I might die of a heart attack right then and there. I thought to myself, can someone please get some baby aspirin up in here? Disclaimer: those of you who know me can apply the TEF, Tara Exaggeration Factor, to the aforementioned statement. While I was waiting my turn to speak in front of the group, my heart started thumping so hard and so loud, I thought it might jump right out of my chest. Tha-thump, tha-thump, THA-THUMP! I don’t know what came over me. I’ve spoken many times in front of a group, and this was a small group. Yet tha-thump, tha-thump, thumpity thump!

As my heart was tha-thumping I began to use one of the Weight Watcher’s Tools for Living to calm myself down. If you’re a Weight Watcher’s member, you’re probably familiar with it- Winning Outcomes. It’s when you visualize a successful outcome before it even happens. I took a big exhale, slowed my breathing and envisioned myself in the front of the room, smiling and confident, leading a class of my own. Whatever you want to call it- Winning Outcomes, positive visualization, the power of positive thinking, mind over matter- it works (if you want it to). 

This week, I ask you to think about something that you’ve wanted to do for a very long time but let that thumpity thump fear get in the way. Close your eyes and envision yourself in that moment, see the end result, really see it. Wait a minute, you’re there! You did it! After all this time! You did it!   

Y-O-U! Congratulations you finally did it! How does it feel? How do you feel?

Now…ask for help. Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

Why Weight Watcher’s?

This Saturday I am heading to the Weight Watcher’s Lansdale office for a group interview/informational session- my first step toward my goal of becoming a leader.  I am very excited (and nervous) for Saturday to finally get here. I am so close to a goal that’s been 15 years in the making.

As I prepare for my meeting, I can’t deny that walking through those meeting room doors, way back in 1996, was a life-changing decision. I also cannot help but reflect on what Weight Watcher’s means to me and why the program has worked for me for 15 years.

It makes me think about something my husband noticed as we were climbing Mt. Monadnock.  He noticed that sometimes I would follow him and sometimes I would branch off and make my own way. Other times I would lead and blaze the path ahead for both of us. Every so often I would take a leap, but most times I was carefully watching my steps and shifting my footing. On occasion I would slow down and ask him to lend a hand. When the trail got really scary (and it did), I would examine my intent and question my sanity a bit, wondering if I could keep moving forward. Why on earth do I want to do this? Can I do this? Is it worth it? And after a little bit of self-talk and encouragement from my husband, I forged ahead, refocused on my goal and taking it one step at a time.  

This is exactly what Weight Watcher’s has done for me! From the start, they helped me set healthy and manageable goals. They set me up with a plan and provided the tools and support I needed to reach those goals. Weight Watcher’s kept the plan flexible, giving me the ability to stay within its parameters but to customize a path that would work just for me.  They provided leadership and guidance when I needed it while encouraging me to stand on my own. And when I faltered, they welcomed me back with open arms into a judgment free space.  They cheered me on when I lost and picked me up when I gained. Weight Watcher’s made me realize that it’s OK to ask for help. They made me see that failure can be a way to learn and grow.  I love that Weight Watcher’s has changed with me over the years;  keeping to the core of who they are while updating their program and  staying current with technology and trends. My online tracking tool is my best friend for life. J Weight Watcher’s understands that losing weight is not about will power, it’s about mind power. The Tools for Living they provide to help me re-think my thinking always keep me on point. Weight Watcher’s knows that the journey is worth it. Their leaders and staff have walked in my shoes; it’s what makes them relatable and authentic.

Lastly, Weight Watcher’s knew there was something great in me even when I didn’t. They saw right through that chubby embarrassed depressed gal that walked through those doors 15 years ago. Weight Watcher’s knew that she was destined to be a strong, content and joy-filled woman, bent on changing the world!

Why Weight Watcher’s? Why not?

Ask for help. Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

Guatemala Reflection #3: Beauty

It wasn’t until I spent a week free from TV, internet, radio and billboards that I realized just how barraged we are with messages about beauty. Everywhere we turn, we are told that we can be more beautiful by using anti-ageing creams, drinking protein shakes, following extreme diet programs, injecting chemicals into our skin and stuffing ourselves into Spanx. We need to whiten, tighten, lift, nip, tuck, lather rinse and repeat. Our hair should be softer, eyelashes should be thicker and longer, waists should be thinner, breasts perkier. We should buy the best to be the best and if we don’t, we’re less than.

For the love of God and all that’s holy---enough!

The women of Guatemala were beautiful and I’m pretty sure they didn’t know it. Their hair was natural, shiny and smooth. They wore no make-up yet their skin glowed. The wrinkles in the faces of the elderly women added to their character, every deep line a testament to their lives. Some of the women’s bodies were muscular from the physical demands of their surroundings while others were soft and curvaceous. Their teeth, while not perfect, were framed in smiles that went all the way to their hearts.

I didn’t give my appearance much thought during the trip (some of you who travelled with me are probably like, ah yeah, we noticed) and it was absolutely refreshing! Admittedly at home, I’m a wrinkle cream toting, hair color wearing, mani-pedi sporting, fashion loving kind of gal. But let me tell you it was soooo nice to be free from societal pressures and just be me.

In Sara Haze’s song Lovely she sings “…just want to be little old me. Shouldn't have to think who am I supposed to be today? And what gives you the right to tell me who I should be? Who gave you that right? Cause I, I feel lovely just the way that I am. Yes I feel lovely, the way that I am”.

I was reminded during this trip that being beautiful is simply being me. I have struggled with body image my whole life. Yet in Guatemala, I felt lovely, just the way that I was.

I felt beautiful as I shoveled stone, wielded a hammer and carried wood, thanking God for the strength of my body. I felt beautiful as I connected with others, being able to share life with them. I felt beautiful as I tried new skills, thanking God for the ability to learn and grow. I felt beautiful being out of my comfort zone, thankful for the opportunity to do so. I felt beautiful as I served, as people encouraged me that I could do more, be more. I felt beautiful when I laughed, truly appreciating the joy that comes from fellowship with others.

As it turns out, I didn’t need my hair dryer or mousse. I could do without my Clinique makeup and face creams. I didn’t need a gym or workout equipment. I left behind my jewelry and nice clothing.

My beauty came from serving, connecting, learning, growing, jumping, risking, laughing, encouraging, praising, praying, appreciating and loving.

Loving God, loving others and loving me.

Ask for help. Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

Twists and Turns

This past weekend, my husband and I climbed to the summit of Mt. Monadnock in New Hampshire. The peak, at 3,165 feet, is twice as high as Cadillac mountain in Maine that we hiked 6 years ago when we were much MUCH younger. Going into the weekend, I honestly didn’t give the task at hand much thought. My husband had mapped out a few state parks for us to hike. Note the word hike, not climb. And on the morning of, even when we pulled up to the base of the mountain, I thought to myself “I got this!” and we were on our way!

The incline started almost immediately, but we were feeling quite cheery, laughing and calling it the slow burn. It was a nice wooded path, with a few larger rocks, but mostly dirt and pine needles. About 20 minutes into the hike, the inclined steepened and turned to all rock. For a good long while we clamored up the rocks, using our hands, performing spidey-like moves, finding our footing, taking it step by step. And finally, victory! What a relief to see the tops of the trees and know how close we were to the summit! Ah…no! False alarm, the trickster mountain twisted and turned for several more miles. We came to that false summit several times, each time, overjoyed that we had FINALLY made it!

Once we got the real summit in sight, we realized that it was still another 45 minute climb, some parts straight up, and we had already been working vigorously for two hours. After some discussion over whether or not our 40 year old bodies could do it, we went for it. Those last minutes of the climb were downright scary! You see, I’m terrified of heights. It wasn’t pushing my body hard that got the best of me, it was convincing my mind that I wasn’t going to plummet to my death (highly unlikely I know, but try and tell my brain that). Reaching the top was incredible! It’s an accomplishment I’ll never forget! I’ll also never forget what my husband said on the way down, that he was more proud of me for overcoming my fear than the physical strength it took to get to the top.

I couldn’t help but think about how that same message applies to weight loss. When we first begin a weight loss program, we are pumped, enthused, all in! And even when the going gets tough, we put one foot in front of the other, taking small steps, keeping our goal in sight. But what happens when the path we’re on changes? Do we finish the climb or pack it in and head home?

On our way to the final summit climb on Mt. Monadnock, the trail started to go down and I almost lost my mind. I was thinking, why on earth do we have to hike down and THEN back up, this is insane. I don’t want to do this anymore. This is a joke. I started snickering to myself, saying things like “this is brilliant God, I have to climb down the mountain before I go up”.

This often happens on our weight loss journey doesn’t it? We’re chugging along, making great progress and then BAM the scale stops moving or even worse, the scale goes up. And sometimes this causes us to lose our focus. Instead of focusing on the end result, we get caught up in the obstacle. Instead of appreciating how far we’ve come, we can only see how far we need to go and how hard it will be. It gets the best of us, it psych’s us out.  We stand in the shadow of the mountain, frozen and filled with self-doubt.

Yet each and every one of us has the courage it takes to finish what we started. Even if your trail map blows away in the wind, you’ve got the tools needed to finish the climb. The power to push through is in your heart and mind. Don’t turn back now, you’ve almost made it to the top!

Ask for help. Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage. 

Hugs and friendship,

Tara