Be Still

Today on my way home from Weight Watchers, I was really second guessing my choice to stop leading classes because I get so much enjoyment from it. It’s one of my favorite things I do all week. It lights me up inside.

So I had a little chat with God in the car. This is not unusual, He and I chat often. Or should I say, I do all of the chatting and He does the listening. I ended my conversation with Him by saying “God, please show me that I’m making the right choice."

It’s funny how God works sometimes, answering our prayers in the most unexpected ways. It was really cold when I left the house to teach this morning. So Nate drove me to class, kept the car nice and warm and I took medicine before class started. I was as careful as I could be. He picked me up after and I literally was only out in the cold (with my hood up and face covered) for maybe 5 minutes total. Yet that was enough.

I ended up in pain, had to take a Maxalt and lie down and am still not feeling very well right now. And there you have it folks, God’s answer. I need to rest and take care of myself and right now that means not leading Weight Watchers classes. I hear you loud and clear God, message received.

Have you ever had a time in your life when you were facing something challenging and realized that what God really wanted from you was to be still? To be still and know.  To be still and listen. To be still and feel. To be still and receive. To be still and learn. To be still and breathe, just breathe. To rest in His peace, grace and love. To rest. To be comforted. To be cared for.

I often talk to my class about choices. How they have an amazing power, to make one choice at a time that can slowly change their lives. How they might not be able to control their circumstances, but they can certainly control their reactions to those circumstances.  Over the past week, through songs and books, God has put some messages in front of me to remind that in all circumstances, goodness can be found, if we are willing to reach for it.

It’s funny, if this circumstance had happened to me a few years ago, I would have been angry. Angry at my illness, sour about how much I miss out on, raising my fist at God, asking “why me?” Blaming, accusing, pity-partying, whining.  

Yet this time I am resigned to go inside myself. I am going to use this time to sharpen my saw. To find new and different things that light my fire. Instead of asking God “why me” I am asking God “what should I learn from this” and “how can you still use me for your good?"

I feel peaceful and secure.

One of the songs that God put in my path this week is Help Me Find It by the Sidewalk Prophets.

I’m giving You fear and You give faith.  I’m giving You doubt, You give me grace. For every step I’ve never been alone.

Even when it hurts, You’ll have Your way. Even in the valley I will say, with every breath, You’ve never let me go.

I’m not quite sure what God is pointing me toward right now. Yet I have faith that He will help me find it. In His time, not mine. So for now, I will be still.  

Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Ask for help. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara