The Choice Is Yours

Way back in 2011 I started this blog. I wanted to make sure that I stayed focused and committed during my wellness journey. I knew that I wanted a mantra of sorts to keep me on task and this is what I came up with.

• Start with a choice to make a change
• Commit the choice to yourself and others
• Continue with courage

Since then, I have ended every single post with those words. 

Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage.

The question I ask you today is “do you believe that you can make changes to your behavior that will positively impact how you live the rest of your life?”

This isn’t a trick question, the answer might seem like an obvious yes, yet our lack of belief in ourselves and our abilities often hold us back. The simple truth is this, if you believe that you can make changes to your behavior that will positively impact how you live the rest of your life- you will. And if you don’t, you won’t.

For years, YEARS, I have turned to food as my comfort. Any time something stressful reared its ugly head, I turned to my best friend forever, food. Food is the best friend you could ask for, it doesn’t judge, it doesn’t talk back and it’s always there for you. I learned this from a very young age during some sad times as a little girl, sitting in my Mom-Mom’s living room, eating my Hostess powered donuts. Their sweet delight was so soothing. It was like that spoonful of sugar that helped the medicine go down, everything was all better. But was it?

As I got older, I realized that turning to food for comfort only made me feel worse. It was a vicious cycle. When I’d feel angry, tired, lonely, sad, stressed, (fill in your emotion here), I would eat AND eat AND eat AND eat. Take that you BIG, BAD, problem! I’ll just eat until I make myself sick and then…I’ll eat some more. Yet when it was all said and done, I actually felt much worse, disappointed in myself and my lack of control.

Have you ever felt powerless to food? You tried to fight the good fight but in the end the food won? Here’s the good news. Y-O-U have the power within you to make a choice to take control over your eating. This is not willpower, this is wantpower.  The desire to be healthy, the want, the absolute need- has to be greater than the sacrifice. And it starts with a decision to take back the power from food. Is this easy? Heck no! If it was, the whole world would be thin. Is this doable? Yes. Is this maintainable? Yes.

So where to start? Start with an “I WILL statement”; end with an “INSTEAD I WILL” statement. This week, I will not overeat when I am feeling badly. Instead I will take a walk. Grab a piece of fruit. Read a book. Drink a glass of water. Call a friend. Play an online game.  I will do whatever it takes to distract myself from the overwhelming need to eat.

Change is possible my friends, if you make the choice, if you have the desire, if you have the wantpower. It has taken me years to change this behavior of turning to food for comfort. Of course, on occasion, I have setbacks. When I have a setback, I start fresh with the next meal; brushing myself off, making yet another choice to take control of my eating.

The extremely cold temperatures this past week were very hard on my trigeminal neuralgia. I was sick for 4 out of 7 days. I didn’t leave the house. I missed work and events. I was in a lot of pain. I was reminded of what my life could be like living with the reality of this illness. I started writing this blog post today because of my own personal victory. Even in excruciating pain and medicated, I did not turn to food. Several years ago, I gained back half of my weight loss because my neuralgia pain and sadness cause me to overeat. The girl on the left thought that food would make her feel better. The girl on the right knows that making healthy choices makes her feel better. 

What I realize now is that the neuralgia pain and sadness did not cause me to overeat, I caused myself to overeat and I am never, ever, going down that path again. My need to be healthy trumps my want for food. I WILL make the choice. I WILL take the power away from food. I WILL remember that my responses are my responsibility.

"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In those choices lie our growth and our happiness." Disclaimer: the internet debates on the origin of this quote, most likely Viktor Frankl. I pulled it from The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by  Stephen R. Covey.

Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

Be Still

Today on my way home from Weight Watchers, I was really second guessing my choice to stop leading classes because I get so much enjoyment from it. It’s one of my favorite things I do all week. It lights me up inside.

So I had a little chat with God in the car. This is not unusual, He and I chat often. Or should I say, I do all of the chatting and He does the listening. I ended my conversation with Him by saying “God, please show me that I’m making the right choice."

It’s funny how God works sometimes, answering our prayers in the most unexpected ways. It was really cold when I left the house to teach this morning. So Nate drove me to class, kept the car nice and warm and I took medicine before class started. I was as careful as I could be. He picked me up after and I literally was only out in the cold (with my hood up and face covered) for maybe 5 minutes total. Yet that was enough.

I ended up in pain, had to take a Maxalt and lie down and am still not feeling very well right now. And there you have it folks, God’s answer. I need to rest and take care of myself and right now that means not leading Weight Watchers classes. I hear you loud and clear God, message received.

Have you ever had a time in your life when you were facing something challenging and realized that what God really wanted from you was to be still? To be still and know.  To be still and listen. To be still and feel. To be still and receive. To be still and learn. To be still and breathe, just breathe. To rest in His peace, grace and love. To rest. To be comforted. To be cared for.

I often talk to my class about choices. How they have an amazing power, to make one choice at a time that can slowly change their lives. How they might not be able to control their circumstances, but they can certainly control their reactions to those circumstances.  Over the past week, through songs and books, God has put some messages in front of me to remind that in all circumstances, goodness can be found, if we are willing to reach for it.

It’s funny, if this circumstance had happened to me a few years ago, I would have been angry. Angry at my illness, sour about how much I miss out on, raising my fist at God, asking “why me?” Blaming, accusing, pity-partying, whining.  

Yet this time I am resigned to go inside myself. I am going to use this time to sharpen my saw. To find new and different things that light my fire. Instead of asking God “why me” I am asking God “what should I learn from this” and “how can you still use me for your good?"

I feel peaceful and secure.

One of the songs that God put in my path this week is Help Me Find It by the Sidewalk Prophets.

I’m giving You fear and You give faith.  I’m giving You doubt, You give me grace. For every step I’ve never been alone.

Even when it hurts, You’ll have Your way. Even in the valley I will say, with every breath, You’ve never let me go.

I’m not quite sure what God is pointing me toward right now. Yet I have faith that He will help me find it. In His time, not mine. So for now, I will be still.  

Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Ask for help. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

Happy Little Trees

Just a little over a year ago, I made a choice, which led to a decision and so began an experiment.

• The choice was faith over fear.
• The decision was to become a Weight Watchers leader.

The experiment was multi-faceted:

• Could I face my overwhelming fear of public speaking?
• Could I let go of perfectionism and self-doubt?
• Would my neuralgia thwart my efforts?

An experiment is defined as a test, trial or tentative procedure; an act or operation for the purpose of discovering something unknown or if testing a principle.

What I really didn’t consider is that sometimes, experiments can lead to unexpected results.

I’m going to age myself here, but do you remember Bob Rossi and his happy little trees? Bob Rossi was an American painter and a television host of the Joy of Painting on PBS. As a child, I used to love to watch him paint, although some made fun of his style.  Sometimes, when watching him, his paintbrush would stray off on to an unexpected space of the canvas. Ooops, he made a mistake. “Geesh, how will  he fix this on public television?” I thought to myself. And right before my eyes he would turn the paint splotch into something special, a happy little tree or a happy little cloud, as he called them.

That is how I like to think of this past year being a Weight Watchers leader. It was the unexpected results, or as I like to call them the unexpected blessings, that were really something special.

It took me quite some time to conquer my fear of speaking publicly. Each week I would be so nervous that my tummy would twist itself into knots. My mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton balls. I swear I could feel my heartbeat in my head. Before every class, I would go into the bathroom and give myself a pep talk. I’d look in the mirror, take some deep breaths, and remind myself why I was there.  I wanted to make an impact. My goal each week was to reach one person, to help them in some way to keep pushing forward on their journey to wellness. 

Creating that small simple goal took the focus away from me and placed the emphasis on serving others. It really helped me to grow.  I learned that in serving others I could move from perfectionism to excellence. Being perfect serves me, striving for excellence serves others. I began to see that if my intentions were pure, helping folks to reach their wellness goals, it was much easier to just be me. And I realized that just being me is enough. I’m not perfect. I forget things. I don’t have all of the answers. I lose my place during a meeting sometimes. On occasion, I still get nervous and break out into a sweat. Yet when I look out at all of the member’s faces, my self-doubt fades away. They are my happy little trees.

They are my unexpected blessing. They turned my paint splash gone astray into a beautiful work of art. Their courage and perseverance blows me away, every single week. Time and time again they overcome obstacles, pressing toward their goals. They laugh and they share and have become family to me and each other. They have taught me that the human spirit is unbreakable. They have shown me that with a plan, support and determination; even the most daunting goals can be achieved. They have reminded me that self-forgiveness and love is a necessity for this and all of life’s journeys. They have embraced me for who I am, and I them. I am deeply marked by their stories that I will never forget.

It is with great sadness that I need to retire for the time being from Weight Watchers. The final piece of my experiment has gone awry. My neuralgia has not passed the test. It is extremely difficult to go out in the cold without feeling pain and for that reason I must take a break and take the best care of me.

I have faith in those happy little trees and clouds that show up in the most unexpected places. And I believe, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that God is preparing me for the next great adventure ahead.

If you are one of my Weight Watchers class members, I love and adore you, and I will see you in a meeting room near you, as a member. I’ll be right there with you, just in a different way.

If you are a family or friend reading this, I am so grateful for your never-ending support on my journey. You are the wind in my sails.

And if you accidentally stumbled upon this blog, let this be a reminder to you. Never give up. Always follow your dreams, even if they seem impossible.  Somebody out there believes in you.

Life’s a blank canvas, waiting for your story, happy little trees and all.

Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Ask for help. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara