Rather Uninspired...

Over the past few weeks, I’ve found myself at a loss of what to write about. And believe you me, that doesn’t happen very often as I’m always thinking, dreaming, planning, plotting- you get the drift. I usually have a never-ending list of what I’d like to write about. Why so uninspired?

Well, I think it ties into a big event in our family’s life that happened about 3 weeks ago. We dropped our daughter off at college, freshman year. Our baby girl has flown the nest. And even though she is only 30 minutes from home, I must say, it was a fairly traumatic experience. Now some of you might be thinking, trauma, I can tell you about real trauma- OK I hear you. Some of my friends and family are facing some really tough times right now and my heart breaks for them. But pain is relative to your reality. And dropping Ash off at school was so painful. Nobody warned me of the mixed bag of emotions that I’d lug home with me after I dropped her bags in her dorm room.  

It all seems so final…like you’ve worked so hard over the past 18 years grow your child into contributing member of society and then BLAMMO, they are gone. Sure they are coming home, but as my one friend said “it’s a game changer”. The family dynamics change. The parent-child relationship changes because you realize that your child is now an adult. Holy cow, when did that happen?

You wonder if you did enough, said enough, guided enough, loved enough.

When did we go from wagon rides and pumpkin picking to Barbies and braces? From board games to boys? From plaid dresses to prom dresses and graduation gowns?

Some of you might be reading this and thinking “seriously, Tara, get a grip” and some might be thinking “awe honey, I’ve been there”.

Right now I’m trying to reconcile the fact that things are changing and will continue to change- understanding that not many things are constant.  

One thing I do know for sure is that God has got his hands on Ashlee (and on me) and with his guidance we welcome this new chapter in our lives. And suddenly I find myself feeling rather inspired! So check back with me in a few weeks and I’ll share with you what new challenges have come my way. J

Make the choice, commit to the choice and continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

Moving the Finish Line

Well, what can I say? It’s been a while since I’ve taken the time to put pen to paper. And, it’s been a while since I slowed down to take care of me. I have not been on Weight Watcher’s program since July fourth. I’ve been trying my darndest, given our summer of travel, to grab something healthy on the run, and to exercise in between activities.

Last week, I decided to go to Weight Watcher’s to face the dastardly scale, just to check in and see how much damage I managed to put on--- and much to my delight, I only gained .5 pounds. Given my recent love affair with Bakers of Buffington graduation cake and the fact that we’ve had to eat out a lot and make the best of it, I’ll take that half pound gain.

When life gets too busy or overwhelming, the first thing that goes out the door for me is my eating. I would usually say “the heck with it”! What was different for me this time around, is awareness.

I am aware that I am 21 pounds thinner and that no matter what--- I want to finish what I started! I am aware that I feel healthier than I have in years. I am aware that when I put good foods in my body, I feel friggin’ fantastic! I am aware that when I exercise, I sleep better at night and am more mentally sharp the next day. I am aware that I am a fighter, not a quitter, and that getting side tracked doesn’t end the journey.

Think about this, endurance and long distance runners cannot see the finish line, even though they know it’s ahead. And as they venture on, their bodies might start to give out, muscles screaming, but their minds are clearly focused on that finish line. And that mental focus is what keeps them moving toward their goal.

I like to view life as a constantly moving finish line. There’s tons of room on the open road for growth, yet we’ll hit plenty of road blocks along the way. The key is to not let that road block end your journey. It may delay you by a week, or maybe a couple of years. It may re-route your plans altogether. I like to look at road blocks as opportunities and ask myself, what does God want me to take from this?

Our summer of travels may have side tracked me from my weight loss, but I had a wonderful time with my kids, husband, family and friends.

Whatever obstacle you’re facing right now, know that it came into your life at this time for a reason. God is very intentional. Ask yourself what new opportunity can grow from this burden? Maybe you’re elbow deep in it and it’s not evident right now.  Just keep on marching toward your finish line, and as it moves, take a deep breath, reflect and refocus, adjust your pace and know that you are exactly where you are meant to be! 

Make the choice, commit to the choice and continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

Home, Home on the (Marshallton) Grange

What a gorgeous day today! Keep it coming Mother Nature! We love it!

This time of year sends me back to my childhood, to the simpler days of summer. Riding my big wheel, jumping rope, making mud pies, playing Little House on the Prairie- all on a breezy summer day.

It also reminds me of the Peach Festival. Every summer, the Marshallton Grange held its annual Peach Festival. It was a night filled with simple joyfulness. Bumpy hayrides that you wanted to go on again and again. The anticipation of the fish pond, throwing your clothes-pinned hook over the top, waiting for the tug to retrieve that special prize. The freshness of the peaches over melted ice cream. Picking a numbered pocket from the pocket lady’s apron, wondering what was inside.  Taking part in the cake walk, hoping that you would take the cake (hey- is that where that saying comes from?).  Playing hide and seek or catching lightening bugs until it was time to go home, and then begging that the hayride would run just one more time.

These are memories from a simpler time, life seemed much less complicated. Time stood still and those slow simmering summer days would go on forever.

It makes me wonder if we have over-complicated the whole weight loss thing? What if we looked at food in a much simpler way? What if food became a way to nourish our bodies? Not a reward, or a punishment; not something to control or lose control of- just plain ol’ nourishment.

Nourishment implies a simple goodness for our bodies. When we put good foods in, we get good things out- like improved health, increased energy, reduced medications, better sleep, glowing skin. It means going back to the basics- enjoying more fruits, veggies, lean meats/protein, low-fat dairy and water and less processed foods, fast foods, fried foods, soda and sweets. It’s going back to what nature has provided us in the purest form.  We know this right? It’s the food pyramid from WAY back in elementary school. Boy those food pyramid people must have been geniuses because it really does work (btw- I had to spell check genius, oh the irony).

It’s not the concept that’s difficult, it’s making it actually happen. It’s flipping the mental switch and then committing to the change.

But let’s not get overwhelmed here. If you begin to make small daily changes, great things will start to happen. Swap out an apple and peanut butter for your morning bowl of cereal. Have a side salad in place of french fries.  Have a half of brownie instead of a whole one. Swap out whole grain pasta for regular pasta.  Eat the chicken sandwich without the roll. Make slow changes that are maintainable and reasonable for the long term.

I challenge you this week to savor the simplicity of food by choosing foods that are good for you. PAY ATTENTION to the way your body feels after eating. Energized ? Healthier? Happier? STOP AND THINK about the foods you’re putting in your body. And I promise you, before you even know what’s happening, your life will start to change.  And your body, just like the hayride, will be begging you to do it again, one more time!

Make the choice, commit to the choice and continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

Space and Grace

Well, it’s been a while since I’ve had a moment to even pee, let alone blog. The past few weeks have gone by in a blur. If anyone told me 18 years ago, when I was a bleary-eyed new and inexperienced mother, that every season would bring a different challenge, I probably would have smacked them. During that time, I was exhausted, unsure of myself, my parenting abilities and my overall dealing with life skills. I was pretty sure that I was the only one in my boat, that my boat was going faster and was in rougher waters than anyone else’s and it was about to go over the waterfall.

Through the years, our boat has hit some scary unchartered territories- most notably the teenage years. I can hardly believe that just a few weeks ago, our daughter graduated from high school. Remember that lovely little book that everyone read called “What to Expect When You're Expecting?” We propped the book on our preggo bellies, pouring over the instructional chapters, dreaming of our perfect babies. Well…no-one told us that one day that baby would turn into a teenager, no book can ever prepare you for that. J

And now, our teenager is an adult. Mother of Pearl, when DID this happen? It seems like it happened over night.   

Perspective is a funny thing isn’t it? Back when our daughter was young, I felt like our lives were so busy and overwhelming. I was exhausted, unsure of myself, my parenting abilities and my overall dealing with life skills. And now, 18 years later- some days I’m still exhausted, unsure of myself, my parenting abilities and my overall dealing with life skills. J

The past month has felt like I’m on a Merry-go-round and the only way I’m getting off is if the ride breaks. I’m quite sure we’re busier than ev-er. We have two active and involved kids- pardon me- one kid and one adult. With the events leading up to graduation- awards ceremonies, invites, photos, house cleaning, party planning, not to mention the fact that tournament baseball seems to be taking over our lives. And oh yeah we just got back from Toledo for gymnastics nationals.

I haven’t had much time to take care of my body. I’ve tried my best to eat the right foods and get exercise in whenever I can but if it doesn’t happen right now, I will lean on two of the greatest lessons I’ve learned as a parent- space and grace.  As far as weight loss goes, I’ve pressed the pause button. Not the quit button, not the forget button, but the hold button. And until I can make the time to resume my weight loss journey, I will allow myself the space and grace to stay exactly where I am.

Just as I thought my boat was about to careen over the waterfall, I dropped anchor.  Time to re-assess my journey.

No matter where you are in your life journey, in calm waters or in the toughest storm of your life- take the time to accept where you are as God maps out a new plan and soon you’ll realize that you are exactly where you are supposed to be. Make the best of this season.

Every season will bring a new set of challenges- it’s called life. It’s how you live that life it that makes the difference.   

Make the choice, commit to the choice and continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

Stop Fighting, Start Living

Over the past few weeks, I have been reminded of the precious gift of good health. I haven’t been feeling very swell. As some of you know, I have a neurological illness called trigeminal neuralgia-atypical facial pain. This illness, which for me is primarily triggered by extremes of weather (cold, heat) and stress, causes incapacitating lightning bolt pains in my head. In some medical journals, it is called “the most painful affliction to man”. I’ve had the illness since 2002. Most people that meet me wouldn’t even know I have it. But those who are close to me know just how much it impacts my everyday living. During the winter and summer months, I am stuck inside. I have to think about everything I do outside of the house and be strategic about my exposure to the weather. If I don’t, I will end up in bed in severe pain and medicated for one or more days.  

Last year was my worst year with the illness. I tried some heavy medications- nerve blockers that made me sicker than the pain relief was worth. During a low point, I was crying in my neurologist’s office that I just couldn’t take it anymore. My doctor said to me “stop fighting this illness and accept it. Start living with your illness”. Eureka! Stop fighting…start living! Stop fighting…start living! Brilliant! Live YOUR life!

Mentally, that was a turning point for me- because chronic illness can wear you out and be downright depressing. Whenever I don’t feel good, I eat. During bouts of neuralgia, I would lie in bed (because I couldn’t move my head), with a bag of Hershey kisses. It makes you really sad when you can’t go to your kid’s sports, pick out a Christmas tree, or go to a family picnic- because the weather (hot or cold) makes you sick. And you miss out on life.

What’s eating you right now so badly that you’re missing out on life? Illness? Depression? Anxiety? Tensions at home? At work? Trouble with your kids? Finances? Death?

I’m here to ask you---DO NOT let the pain take control of your life. You (and God) have the steering wheel. YOU, control your attitudes, your behaviors, your reactions and beliefs. YOU control how you choose to live your life.

This past year, I made the mental shift to take my life back. And let me tell you…when you’re feeling like you cannot go on anymore, and you have no idea where you will get the strength to face another day- you will dig deep and keep on keepin’ on.

It’s really hard to keep on keepin’ on when you’re ill, depressed, anxious, stressed at home or at work, struggling your finances or mourning the loss of a loved one.

But remember, there is a light inside of you called hope. And this hope will give you the courage, strength and perseverance to tackle whatever life brings- head on.

Make the choice, commit to the choice and continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

Leaping Off the Wagon

Well, this week, I didn’t just fall off the wagon, I leapt off.  Maybe not even a leap, but a full force run in the opposite direction of where I was heading.

And I discovered…it’s really easy to blog when things are going well. But during times of struggle, it’s hard to put myself out there.

It made me think about the life of a celebrity. No privacy, always under scrutiny for their appearances, family ties, career moves and life choices. Imagine if people judged us like we judged them? We don’t even know them. Yet, I’m guilty as charged. I’ll sit in front of the TV, in my comfy clothes and be thinking “what the heck is she wearing? Doesn’t she have a mirror?”

When I thought about celebrities and their public weight struggles, plenty came to mind. Janet Jackson, Jessica Simspon, Wynonna Judd, Jennifer Hudson, Kirstie Alley, and of course Oprah Winfrey.

As I watched the trailer’s for Oprah’s 25 year career, I couldn’t help but to think about the ups and downs of her weight loss journey, after all, it was right before my eyes. This woman, the most powerful and wealthiest in the world (until Lady Gaga knocked her to #2), she struggles just like you and me.

Oprah has the world of heath at her fingertips. She’s got a cook and a personal trainer. The best fitness equipment that money can buy. Yet she still hasn’t found her way. I’m not talking about when she rolled the wagon full of fat unto the stage in her little skinny jeans, she was too thin then. I’m talking about overall wellness.

And for you Biggest Loser fans…they have the best trainers in the world, the weight loss opportunity of a lifetime. They exercise and eat in a controlled environment and some weeks…they blow it. Makes me feel better on those nights when I’m watching Biggest Loser while eating my peanut butter Tandycakes.

This week, I ate just about everything in sight (and then some). My workouts fell to the wayside. I was tired and grouchy. And I realized that I was tired and grouchy because I ate just about everything in sight and my workouts fell to the wayside. And joyfully I thought “I don’t like feeling this way”. I like the way I feel when I put good foods in my body and when I exercise. That’s progress baby! J I thought I leapt off the wagon this week, but as it turns out, I’m still in it. My wagon just took a little detour.

Part of the reason I created this blog is to remind women (and myself), that we’re only human. We try, we fail. We try, we succeed. What’s most important is that we keep trying.

“There is no comparison between that which is lost by not succeeding and that lost by not trying.”~ Francis Bacon Sr.

Whatever you’re facing this week, don’t miss out on something wonderful by not giving it a try.

Make the choice, commit to the choice and continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

Missing Mo-Jo

dis·com·bob·u·late–verb- To confuse or disconcert; upset; frustrate.

This week, I’m feeling very discombobulated (love that word). I’m tired, frustrated, frazzled.

My “get up and go”…“got up and went”. I lost my mo-jo. You get what I mean…I’m beat.

There are simply not enough hours in the day to get things done. I feel like I’m running around like crazy and accomplishing ¼ of what I need to.

Work is busier than ever. My husband’s job is stressful. We have kid stuff every night of the week. As the school year comes to an end, it seems as though the teachers try to cram in all of the projects they didn’t quite get to assign. Don’t forget about the awards banquets. Our daughter is a senior, so add in the graduation planning and college preparation. Scheduling summer sports and camps. Not to mention the endless array of paperwork that comes with all of the above. And oh yeah, the house still needs to be cleaned, laundry done, groceries bought, birthdays remembered…How about squeezing in time for our family? Spouse? Children? Friendships? Spiritual time? Ourselves?

Such is the life of a busy Mom. Is it any wonder that we struggle to lose weight? I don’t know about you, but often times I come in dead last. How on earth can we find the time to shop for healthy foods? To plan and prepare meals? Exercise? And how do we dig deep enough to find the energy to “keep on keepin’ on?”

Something is different for me this time around. Which is probably why I’m feeling a little discombobulated?  I have flip-flopped my priorities. In that list of “to dos” above, just look at what comes in last place. Family. Spouse. Children. Friendships. Spiritual time. Ourselves.

Right now, I’ve got laundry mountain waiting for me to conquer. My house is semi-clean but needs some help. The endless paper pile is growing. But Jimmy Crack Corn and I don’t care! Why? Because I’m doing what’s truly important.

I went shopping with my daughter. Played whiffle ball with my son. Took a family walk and enjoyed the weather. Went out to dinner with friends. Read a book. Walked the dog with my husband. Went to Zumba with my girlfriend. Spent time in prayer. Exercised almost every day. Took some photos. Prepared healthy foods.

A few weeks ago at Weight Watchers’s, our leader asked the question “who can name one or more thing you’ve done for yourself this week?” We all sat scratching our heads and looking at each other like hmmmm…I dunno.

This week, try the twofer rule (yes I made that up). Every day, if I can get TWO things done from my never-ending “to do” list- I consider it a day well spent.

Remember, you can’t do it all, but you can do what matters.

Make the choice, commit to the choice and continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara