Over the past few weeks, I’ve found myself at a loss of what to write about. And believe you me, that doesn’t happen very often as I’m always thinking, dreaming, planning, plotting- you get the drift. I usually have a never-ending list of what I’d like to write about. Why so uninspired?
Well, I think it ties into a big event in our family’s life that happened about 3 weeks ago. We dropped our daughter off at college, freshman year. Our baby girl has flown the nest. And even though she is only 30 minutes from home, I must say, it was a fairly traumatic experience. Now some of you might be thinking, trauma, I can tell you about real trauma- OK I hear you. Some of my friends and family are facing some really tough times right now and my heart breaks for them. But pain is relative to your reality. And dropping Ash off at school was so painful. Nobody warned me of the mixed bag of emotions that I’d lug home with me after I dropped her bags in her dorm room.
It all seems so final…like you’ve worked so hard over the past 18 years grow your child into contributing member of society and then BLAMMO, they are gone. Sure they are coming home, but as my one friend said “it’s a game changer”. The family dynamics change. The parent-child relationship changes because you realize that your child is now an adult. Holy cow, when did that happen?
You wonder if you did enough, said enough, guided enough, loved enough.
When did we go from wagon rides and pumpkin picking to Barbies and braces? From board games to boys? From plaid dresses to prom dresses and graduation gowns?
Some of you might be reading this and thinking “seriously, Tara, get a grip” and some might be thinking “awe honey, I’ve been there”.
Right now I’m trying to reconcile the fact that things are changing and will continue to change- understanding that not many things are constant.
One thing I do know for sure is that God has got his hands on Ashlee (and on me) and with his guidance we welcome this new chapter in our lives. And suddenly I find myself feeling rather inspired! So check back with me in a few weeks and I’ll share with you what new challenges have come my way. J
Make the choice, commit to the choice and continue with courage.
Hugs and friendship,
Tara
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