Dragon Slayer

Doubt, it’s a dream killer. It might be a more powerful dream killer than fear. Fear can be used to our advantage, sometimes it's an impetus that moves us forward. But doubt, doubt makes us feel uncertain about ourselves, others or our circumstances and can stop us in our tracks. 

Growing up I was an only child who lived in the country. I had a creative artistic mind and quite the imagination. I loved to write stories. I’d draw and construct and make them come to life. I was the creator of that world. I was always the hero of my story. Given the (fairly traumatic) childhood I had, I needed that safe space. A place where I was in control of the ending of my story. I’m sure that many of you can relate.

What happens to that sense of wonder and possibility as we get older? Life. Life chinks away at our armor of invincibility. We get hurt. We experience things like death or divorce. Depression, anxiety or addiction. Job loss. Financial stresses. Abuse or neglect. Illness. Pain. Loneliness. Our life might not take the path that we thought it was going to. A gap grows between our expectations and reality. And sometimes that gap gets filled with a heap of emotions until it feels like we are buried in them- sadness, regret, anger, impatience, worry, hopelessness.

When we’re in that state, it’s awfully hard to find our way out. Because the stories we start telling ourselves aren’t ones where we are the hero. We’re so mired in physical or emotion pain we move from hero to victim. Even if you are or have been a victim of something or someone, staying a victim doesn’t allow you move forward. To move from victim to victor, you have to take control of your story and that starts with the story in your mind. You have to realize that you are the one who is making you feel powerless. Because you hold the power. You control your choices. You control the reactions to your circumstances. We’re not kids anymore, but we still get to write the ending to our stories. Deep within us we still possess that glimmer of hope and possibility for our lives.

So how do we conquer those great dragons of doubt?  It’s time to armor up by:

Surrounding ourselves with positive people. There will be times in our lives when we don’t believe in ourselves. It’s during those times we need people that will show us our possibility. That will love us through it. That will speak truth to us. As I write this it’s thunder storming. My dog has planted herself right next to me because she’s terrified. I can feel her heart racing. Sometimes we need people next to us to assure us that it’s going to be OK. If you don’t have those kinds of people in your life, it’s time to evaluate your tribe.

Being grateful. Gratitude is a practice. Many times when we’re in the thick of a crappy circumstance it’s hard to see the positive. But the reality is that someone will always have it better and someone will always have it worse than we do. As we’re wallowing in self-pity (sometimes justified and sometimes not), there is someone else dreaming about the life we have. Take 5 minutes each day to write down 5 things that you are grateful for. You’ll be surprised at how this will change the way you are looking at your life.

Surrounding ourselves with positive messages. I was telling someone the other day that I had gotten back into the bad habit of starting my day with Facebook. Ugh, the power and pull of social media. I do much better when I start my day with a positive podcast, blog site, exercise, prayer, meditation, audio book or devotional. Pay attention to what’s draining you and replace it with something that can fuel your fire for the day.

Serving others. Serving others takes the focus off of us and our circumstances and often that’s exactly what we need. Serving others allows us to see the beauty and possibility in people and to reconnect with the ultimate dragon slayer, hope. Serving side by side with others allows us to see that there is still good in this world.

Extending grace and forgiveness. Offering grace and forgiveness doesn’t absolve the person who hurt you, it frees you and it frees your heart. I could write page upon page on this topic. Grace and forgiveness is a process. But once you free your heart, you are able to write a new story for your life. 

Armor up baby, it's time to save yourself.  

Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage.

Hugs & friendship,

Tara