One of the most disheartening things about being a Weight
Watchers leader is watching a member slowly give up the fight. Whether battling our weight or perhaps a more
personal challenge, we’ve all been there. Pushing and climbing, clamoring and
slipping, breathing and refocusing, struggling and digging, forging forward and
then falling behind, maybe flat on our a$$es. Yet we get back up, first on our
knees then on our feet; trudging, begrudging, mumbling, and fumbling. Some days
trying our best, some days not trying at all. Yet we fight, for that which
eludes us, haunts us, taunts us- the satisfyingly sweet taste of victory.
The fight makes us weary. For some (including myself) it’s
been the battle of a lifetime. It wears us down and breaks our spirit. Soon we
lose our perspective, we forget what we’re doing this for and lose sight of how
far we’ve come. We can only see our failure and our inability to get the scale
to move- again.
I can see it in people’s eyes, when they lose the spark. I
want to take them by the shoulders, look them in the eyes and tell them that
the victory is worth the battle. I want
to beg and plead with them to never give up. DO NOT
QUIT.
I want them to know that I hear them. I feel them. I’ve been
there, so…many…times…
My heart aches for them. My spirit wills them to press on.
Over the past month, I’ve watched my weight slowly creep
upwards and as the scale increased, so did my frustration. To take a step back
(and a deep breath) I broke out all of my Weight Watchers records from 1996 to
today and I charted them. This shouldn’t come as a surprise to those who really
know me and my anal retentive ways.
The chart was very telling. For most of the last 17 years, I
maintained a healthy body weight. While I wasn’t at goal the entire time, I was
well.
Yet there were several years that I seriously struggled, the numbers speak for themselves. It began
around 2006. I was attending Weight Watchers during my lunch break with a
friend. I remember that time very clearly.
In 2006, I regularly attended WW and gained a total of 3 pounds. Looking back, although I might
have attended, I only half participated. Really I was dilly-dallying with the
program. Some weeks I stayed on plan, and some weeks I didn’t. The effort (or
lack thereof) showed.
In 2007 I stopped
going because I was stressed and
frustrated. I was going to school at
night, working full time and the company I worked for was going out of business-
soon I would need to change careers. These are not excuses, just circumstances.
In 2008 I regularly attended WW and gained a total of 8 pounds. Once
again, I didn’t make a serious effort. Some weeks I was a WW rock star, and
other weeks, I just could not focus on the task at hand. Yet I kept going.
In 2009 I regularly attended WW and gained a total of 3 pounds
over that year.
In 2010 I stopped
going because I was sad and sick from neuralgia. I must pause here
and say that 2009 and 2010 were the worst years of my trigeminal neuralgia that
had since 2001. I’ve written full blog posts about it. The pain took over every single aspect my life. I was on heavy medications and pretty much at
the end of my rope. Stick with me because
this is where it all turns around.
Near the end of
2010 I found hope and pain relief through acupuncture. Those years of non-stop pain helped me
to appreciate the gift of good health.
I praised God for
giving me my health back and I promised to honor Him with my body, mind and
spirit.
I took a brand new approach to wellness. I dropped my all or
nothing mentality. I left behind my black and white thinking. I pledged to make
small, subtle changes that would lead to achievable and maintainable results. I
started my blog to keep motivated and on track, walked back through those
Weight Watchers doors, and here I am.
In 2011 I went back
to WW and lost 10 pounds.
In 2012 I kept going
to WW and lost 11 pounds.
In 2012 I got back to
goal weight!!!
In 2013 I kept going
to WW and lost 7 pounds.
In 2014 I kept going
to WW and lost 5 pounds.
I am now 13 pounds
BELOW goal!!!
The victory is worth the battle. It’s worth the pushing and
climbing, clamoring and slipping, breathing and refocusing, struggling and digging,
forging forward and then falling behind, maybe flat on our a$$es. It’s worth
the trudging, begrudging, mumbling, and fumbling.
Some days we’ll try our best and some days we might not try
at all.
Yet we fight, for that which eludes us, haunts us, taunts
us- the sweet victory that’s ours for the taking.
There is a warrior inside
of us who will not quit!
Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Ask for help.
Continue with courage.
Hugs and Friendship,
Tara
