Love Your Selfie

This week, my friend Cathy posted a beautiful picture of Marilyn Monroe that got me thinking about body image. That picture, along with the Today Show’s theme this week- #LoveYourSelfie prompted me to write this post.

When I was a little girl, I used to stand shirtless in front of the mirror and check myself out. Don’t laugh, you know you used to do it too, and hey you still might. I had the coolest feature that was unique only to me. The veins in my chest formed an awesome looking bald eagle. I remember staring at myself, grinning, flexing and simply loving my selfie that I saw in the mirror. Plain and simple-I rocked!

As I grew up (and out), looking in the mirror turned into scrutinizing my every feature. We didn’t even have the Internet back in the day, but we had magazines and of course TV. Everywhere I looked, there was someone thinner, prettier, taller [fill in your own adjective here] than me. I fretted about everything from my freckles to my figure, and soon, I became my own worst enemy.   I began to view myself through the lens of a society that created an illusion of perfection; much like those fun house mirrors that distort your features.

Raising my young adult daughter and teenage son in our currently appearance obsessed culture combined with the explosion of social media has proved to be an ongoing challenge. What’s a Mom to do? We want our kids to be confident yet humble. Healthy yet not focused on their weight. We want them to be kind and compassionate toward others as we tune into the latest reality shows that value rapid weight loss, nip-tucks, wife-swapping and smack talking that are so far from reality it’s mind-blowing. How can we expect our kids to not feel the need to measure up if that’s the crap that we’re measuring ourselves by?

I’m guilty as charged. I’ve watched every single season of the Biggest Loser, knowing that their pace of weight loss is not healthy and sustainable. I used to love the show Extreme Makeover even though they performed such radical cosmetic surgeries that the participants didn’t even come close to resembling their old selves. On occasion I ponder what it would be like to do a lighter version of Extreme Makeover- some hair extensions, tanning, teeth whitening, a little body sculpting and then I wonder- what the heck am I thinking? If I did all of that, I wouldn’t be me. I’d be Tara trying to be someone else.

It has taken me years to accept the fact that when God made me, he knew what he was doing. He had a plan, and the plan was me, just as I am. With my short torso and legs, I’m not likely to be that leggy model on the Chico’s so slimming jeans commercial. Side rant- Chico’s I stopped shopping at your store when you started airing those ridiculous commercials. Those women don't need slimming jeans. OK- side rant over.

I’m 5’3” with a not-so-petite frame.  I have broad-ish shoulders. I used to fret about my freckles, now I love them. They make me look younger and hey, they cover my age spots. I always wanted to be the teen that shopped at the 5-7-9 store. Remember that store? Well, I kind of skipped right over those sizes. Now days, instead of focusing on a size, I focus on my health and how I feel. And do you know what? I feel great! 

I feel strong and energized. I feel blessed to be alive and healthy.

In part, being a parent has helped me to change my lens. As a parent, we want our kids to see their own truth. We want them to see themselves like we do. We want them to love themselves as much as we do and we love them so much, it hurts. That got me started on this mantra a few years back- I will honor God with my body. If God my creator, my heavenly Father, thinks that I am lovely just the way I am- who am I to argue? Instead I will give thanks for who I am, just the way I am. 

Even on the days when I’m tempted to use a filter, I will love my selfie, honoring God by believing that He created me to be--- me. 

Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Ask for help. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara