Ready, Set, Goal!

This week I got back to my Weight Watcher’s lifetime goal weight. Not only did I reach my goal, I’m now one pound below my goal! I have not been this weight since 2003.

It’s been a slow and steady road to get here and I I thank you for being with me every step of the way. I am proud to be a Weight Watcher for life.   

In March 2011, I decided to make my weight battle public by starting this blog. Some people choose to lose privately, some publicly and there is no right or wrong way. For me having a way to express myself through writing was very helpful. I wanted to share my successes and even my failures with you.

I also set a few goals:

1- Healthy Thinking- I will have a positive long term approach to my weight loss. I will surround myself with people who support my goals. I will make small changes that lead to big results. I will help others along the way.  

2- Honor God With My Body- I will appreciate this one body that God gave me. I will treasure and take care of it. I will value this gift of life. I will make choices that bring glory to God.

3- Moving More- I will become an active, healthy adult. I will explore new activities and adventures to help me get fit. I will see exercise as a privilege and not a chore.

4- Goal weight 141- I will set a healthy, maintainable goal weight for my body type and frame. I will achieve my goal within a year.

5- Weight Watcher’s Leader- I will become a local Weight Watcher’s leader and will nurture a community of healthy, balanced, positive and compassionate members.

Over the next few weeks I’ll be reflecting on my first four goals and how I got there. I’ll also be sharing with you my steps to become a Weight Watcher’s leader-goal number five!

I hope you’ll stay with me on this next leg of my journey. I can’t wait to share it with you!

Ask for help. Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

Little Engine That Can

A few weeks ago, I wrote about being stuck at Complacency Crossroads and that I needed to get my train to jump tracks to the Can Do Expressway. So what happened? Apparently as my train was jumping the tracks, it became derailed.

It’s been a mixed bag kind of a week. One day I felt energized and focused and the next day I felt distracted and tired. This whole week has been magnified by a revisit from my pesky little friend, my facial neuralgia. I’ve had some type of pain every day this week. When it’s hot out, I have pain on the top of my head and my front facial nerves and eye spasm like crazy.  Sunday was one hot bugger of a day, and I tried to stay outside at my son’s baseball game, but I paid for it later. When it’s cold, damp and rainy (and boy we’ve had plenty of that), I have my worst pain, it’s a shooting pain behind my ear that radiates up the back of my head. This week’s crazy up and down temperatures have been a killer. When I’m stressed or tired, my face spasms and droops and I have nail-tapping like pain on the top of my head. Fun for days!

The good news? Acupuncture is still working. The pain I experience is far less severe than it ever has been. My pain can be controlled fairly quickly so I can get back to living my life.  The bad news? My chronic pain is SUCH a trigger for overeating. I’m sure many of you reading this can relate. We all have something that triggers us to overeat. Many of us self-medicate with food to help heal our mental and physical hurts. When we’re knee deep in pain, sometimes we simply don’t have the wherewithal to stop and think “eating is not going to solve my problems”, we just eat, and eat, and eat. And oh yeah, then eat some more.

I mentioned that it’s been a mixed bag kind of week for me. Why? Because I’m fighting a battle and thankfully the healthier me is winning. As I’ve written before, usually when I have neuralgia pain, I turn to food for my comfort. But this week (and every week going forward), I refuse to let food win. When the pain came, I fell into my old ways, grabbed my favorite comfort foods and started to dig in, but something really cool happened- I stopped. I did have it within me to stop my overeating, even in the middle of physical pain. I stopped. Here’s what I did instead---

I journaled. I started a food mood and face feelings journal. There I began to capture how I was feeling about food and what I was going to do about it. I also noted my levels of face pain to keep myself grounded that things could be worse. I exercised. Exercise not only reduces my face pain, but it gives me that energy boost and focus that’s needed. Even if I only have time for 20 minutes, I get my body moving. I talked it out. My husband is an awesome listener. After 23 years, he knows me better than I do. Make sure you have someone you can talk with about your struggles and have that person hold you accountable for your actions. I prayed. When I felt overwhelmed, I stopped what I was doing and grabbed my bible. I always feel at peace after a little chat with God. He is my comfort and strength.

I’m so happy to get my little engine that can back on the right track. Will you join me?

Ask for help. Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

D.I.Y.O.

I spent most of last weekend working on a DIY project. I bought a credenza at an estate sale and it needed some serious TLC.  It was so glorious to sit outside, bask in the sun, getting my DIY on- LOVE it! As I sat there, I began to think about how my weight loss journey has been very similar to a DIY project. For me, DIY projects have a few things in common- 1) they always take longer than I imagine they will…2) there is usually more work involved than I planned on…3) I want to fast forward to the end, skipping the hard labor to enjoy the beauty of the finished product.  

Usually, a DIY project begins with a less than perfect object that has potential. Well that was certainly me at the beginning of my journey. I needed to take a hard look at myself to see that I am FAR from perfect, but filled God-given possibility. The first thing I did with the credenza was clean it off, it was filthy. Got me some old rags, some warm soapy water and went to town. This made me think about my decision to begin a healthy lifestyle. Once I recognized that I had the power to change, and made the decision to change, I needed to clean up my act, starting with my bad habits.

After I got the credenza spic and span, I began to sand it. Sanding is one of my least favorite jobs. It’s hard manual work and there’s no way to get around it. And to do a project right, you should actually sand a few times, in between the primer and pain coats to get the best results. Sanding down old habits can be just as tedious. Just when you think you’re done sanding- whammo- you find another thing you need to change. Sometimes we get splinters, making lifestyle changes can be painful, both mentally and physically. Much like how I feel about sanding a piece of furniture; recognizing, acknowledging and changing my habits has been the most tedious and laborious part of my journey.

Even though sanding can be tiresome, there’s nothing like starting with what feels like an almost new piece of furniture. I used some wood filler to fill in the rough patches and now it’s nice and smooth.  Filling in the gaps between the old and new me is when the fun began. Finding new activities I enjoy, trying new healthier foods, stepping out of my comfort zone, building new friendships.  It feels so great to fill myself up with things other than food!

Coming to the end of the DIY project, I layered on the primer before the gorgeous final top coat. As we make positive changes in our lifestyle, we begin to layer our healthy habits to build something lasting and substantial.

And finally, the sweet reward! I love putting on the final coats of paint and adding personal details to make it my own.  The same thing can be said for my weight loss journey. I’ve taken the Weight Watcher’s program, tweaked it to fit my lifestyle and made it just right for me. One of my favorite things about a DIY project is the beauty that comes with reinvention. Years from now, someone might find my credenza, see its potential and start to give it some much needed TLC.

D.I.Y.O (doing yourself over) is a life-long process and investment that require some serious sweat equity, but the end result will be SO worth it! Something beautiful is waiting to be created in you!

Ask for help. Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

Complacency Crossroads

Have you ever felt like you were in one of those cartoons where the train is careening out of control because the evil villain has taken over? Well my weight loss train is certainly not careening, but has been chugging along somewhat slowly and seems to be making at stop at Complacency Crossroads.

I have two approaches when it comes to achieving my goals. #1- Hungry Like a Wolf (oh yeah, who loves Duran Duran?)- I’m so hungry to reach my goal that no-one or no-thing will stand in my way. I am in relentless pursuit of my end in mind and will not stop until I achieve it. #2- Close Enough is Good Enough- I am really close to my ideal state and close enough is good enough. For me, both of these options are workable. They require self-awareness and ongoing analysis as well as accepting either path as what is best at that time. What doesn’t work for me is being stuck at Complacency Crossroads.

I am one pound, yes, you read right, ONE pound away from reaching my goal! Easy peazy lemon squeezy right? Wrong? After a week of a good marginal effort of sticking to my eating and exercise, I gained last week. I was so close to goal that I should have had a laser focus on reaching that goal, yet I was dithering around at Complacency Crossroads. Don’t you love that word dithering? My Mom-Mom used to tell me not to dither, I’m not even sure I knew what she meant. Now if she would have said stop dillydallying, I would have totally understood her. ;)

As a lifetime Weight Watcher, I know that I am at a crossroads, and I need to move my train off this track.  Close enough is not good enough for me this time. Sure some will say “a pound is a pound, if you feel great and are healthy, so what?” Well, truth be told, this one pound is actually standing in the way of my becoming a Weight Watcher’s leader. I have my Weight Watcher’s leader application on my goals board, the entire sheet is filled out, except for the reached goal weight line. So in this circumstance,  close enough is not good enough.

So the question becomes, how do I move from Complacency Crossroads to the Can Do Expressway? I loved this street sign. I made my husband stop so I could take a picture of it because I thought to myself, I want to be on the Can Do Expressway every single day. Yes, a street sign actually made me think this. J I want CAN DO to be the way I live my life.

I’m very sure I have the answer to that question within me and that I know how to jump the track to the Can Do Expressway, after all, I’ve done it many times before…so stayed tuned to find out how I change my direction.

Ask for help. Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

Your Time Is Now

Can anyone feel the pain behind my eyes?

Can anyone hear me cry?

Can anyone see my light that begs to shine?

When will it be my time?

I started this poem one evening when I lying in bed having a severe neuralgia attack. I never finished the poem, because the words and the pain were too raw. I recently shared my below progress update photos with some friends and family, and now I share them with you. It’s really interesting how some people commented that that in my earlier photos, I was smiling, but not on the inside.  

I compiled my progress photos because quite frankly there are some days that this messed up head of mine doesn’t sync with my new body. Even though I’ve lost 30 pounds, dropped two clothing sizes and feel better than I have in a long LONG time; when I look in the mirror, sometimes I still see old Tara. I’m really glad I took the progress pictures along the way, because they help me to remember how I felt then and to cherish how I feel now. Like some of my friends and family could see, I had so much pain behind my eyes.

This past year has been far more than a weight loss journey for me. It’s been a true transformation emotionally, physically and spiritually. The first step was being relieved of my chronic pain thanks to acupuncture. That really was the springboard to my good health. Being able to control my pain led me to a new career. I was so shut down from being ill, I would not take any risk as I was terrified it would bring more pain. It wasn’t until I was able to open myself to the possibility of trying something new that I was able to get my current job. Opportunity begins at the end of your comfort zone…right?

Shortly after starting my job, I began eating right, exercising and I started this blog. Yet another risk, baring my soul and sharing my ups and downs with friends AND strangers. What I’ve done, over the past year, with the help of many wonderful and supportive people, is to get my life back.  

It is my wish for you that someone or something will light that spark in you that is begging to shine. That someone or something will push you out of your comfort zone, helping you to see the absolutely incredible things you are capable of doing and being. That someone or something will help you to realize that this is YOUR time.

Ask for help. Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

No Excuses

Is it me or does spring/summertime seem almost busier than the fall holiday season? As soon as May rolls around we are barraged with a ton of social invitations/obligations. Baby and bridal showers, weddings, picnics and BBQ’s, high school and college graduations, retirement parties, golf outings, 5K’s, sports events…need I say more? And whether you’re the host of one of these events or simply a guest, each role brings a wealth of challenges. 

If you're the host, well...forget about it...from the planning and preparation---invitations, shopping, food preparation, home preparation/decoration to hosting the actual event---one word, exhausting! And if you're the guest, you might need to shop for a gift, prepare a meal or travel long distances.

I remember that about this time last year, I was planning my daughter's graduation party, and I was a madwoman on a mission. Being that she was our first high school graduate, I wanted to be sure I did it up right, and it went off without a hitch. It was a really great day. :) But what gave? My weight loss efforts went out the window that week. I mean who on earth has that much time in their day? I'll never forget some advice my older and wiser friend gave me during that time, it went something like "Tara, no-one will care if your house is perfect and clean, or that you planted new flowers, or made the just the right food, they'll just remember being together, laughing and having fun." If only I had heeded that advice a little bit sooner.

What if that week I chose to put my wellness first? What if I carved an hour out of my day to exercise FIRST? What if I took a few extra minutes to prepare some healthy meals FIRST and I let a few things go with my planning and preparation? What if I delegated some of that planning and preparation? Easier said than done, especially for an over-the-top person like me. But here's the deal, there will always ALWAYS be something or someone competing for our attention, especially during this time of year. We can come up with a million and one excuses to not take care of ourselves. "I have too many events this week; I'll start eating right after that". "My son's getting married; I'll get back on track with my exercise after the wedding". "I've just got way too much going on in my life right now."

The word excuse means to seek or obtain exemption or release for oneself. When we make excuses, what we're really going is exempting ourselves from good health. I know that this is a really challenging time of year to take care of you, but if you don't, who will? Don't excuse yourself from good health; you're worth that and so much more!

Ask for help. Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

Perfection Is Overrated

Perfection Is Overrated

Growing up I always heard the saying “practice makes perfect”.  As a recovering perfectionist, I have really come to loathe that saying because I wonder to myself “is perfection the truly end goal?” What if we said something like “practice makes better?” Would getting better at something be enough?

Perfectionism in the realm of eating habits can lead to frustration and disappointment. It seems like every day, either in person, on Facebook or television, I see people who put severe restrictions on their eating habits. I’m giving up wine. This week, I’m cutting out sugar. No carbs for two days. For the next ten days, no coffee.  And last but not least, no more chocolate.

And while limiting what you eat can be a good thing, an all or nothing attitude sets you up for potential failure. When you don’t eat something, what do you want? That thing you’re not eating. You say to yourself, I’m giving up ice cream. And all of the sudden ice cream seems to be everywhere and you want it soooo bad. And then what happens? You cave and eat the whole container.

What if instead of saying “I’m giving up ice cream” you said something more like “it’s important to take care of myself without feeling deprived. So this week, I’ll allow myself to have one serving of ice cream”. Now some of you are thinking, OK Tara, let’s get real here, I just can’t have that kind of stuff in my house or I’ll eat it…understood. How about ordering yourself a kid-sized scoop of ice cream as a special treat?

My point is, instead of being perfect, how about being better? Instead of deprivation, how about trying moderation? Moderating what you eat is far more maintainable for a lifetime than deprivation. When you feel deprived, you always seem to want more. You think about that forbidden food, you long for it and you get annoyed with those skinny little people who can eat whatever they want, whenever they want. You become cranky, resentful, frustrated and sometimes you just call it quits.

Think about one small change in your eating you can make this week. Maybe it’s that latte you grab each day in the drive through? Or swapping out something fried for something baked or broiled? Maybe it’s eating only ½ a candy bar or downsizing from the family sized candy bar to a smaller one? Or enjoying the natural sweetness of fruit instead of adding sugar? Maybe instead of eating pizza out every Friday night you figure out a way to make a healthier version at home? Or you swap out a bottled water for that second drink at happy hour? There are endless small changes you can make to your eating habits that can be sustainable for the long haul. After you’ve made one small change and sustained it, make another. And as I’ve said before, all of these small changes will lead to big results.

Trust me, perfection IS overrated. Practice DOES make better. Once you change a habit and repeat it over and over, you will feel so much better!

Ask for help. Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara