The Stories We Tell

What if you are on the cusp of a breakthrough but you gave up a little too soon? You stopped short. You quit. You got tired of trying. You stopped believing in your ability to change. But you didn't realize just how close you were to finally changing...

June 2011- June 2020. When I look at this picture I think about how close I was to giving up on my wellness goals.

In March 2011, I started (once again) on a wellness journey. I say once again because I had been trying to lose weight since 2008. I stopped and started Weight Watchers a gazillion times. I started to tell myself that I would never ever lose the weight.

I wondered if there was something medically wrong with me?
Hormones...thyroid...something...anything...because I was doing the work but it wasn't showing on the scale. But really, looking back I was just half-assing it and coming up with excuses. Once I started making small daily consistent changes, that's when the magic started to happen.

Funny enough it was this blog that helped me to stay on track. I decided to blog about my journey to hold myself accountable. Here's my first post. When I read through my first year it occurs to me that I really didn't believe I could do it. Because I had stopped and started so many times, my confidence in my ability to actually reach my goal was low.

What was different this time around is that I focused on my overall health. I told myself that if I did what I needed to do to take care of myself emotionally, physically and spiritually, the weight loss would follow. This mindset has allowed me to maintain a 40+ weight loss for 9 years. Have I had a few fluctuations? Sure, but that's real life.

I wanted to write this post because I know there's someone out there reading this who is afraid to go after a goal, be it weight or otherwise because they've tried before and failed. I get it, as a recovering perfectionist I feel you. Failure sucks. But why not fail forward? Give it a go and if you encounter a setback look at it in a new way. Having a setback means that you are working toward something. See that setback as a fail forward. It's still getting you closer to your goal.

If we tell ourselves the same story over and over again, we'll believe it enough to get stuck. Be aware of how you're talking to yourself and be willing to rewrite that story. I've worked hard on my mental fortitude. I've encountered health issue after health issue in the 9 years since I started this journey. Trigeminal neuralgia. Foot fractures. Neck/shoulder issues. Lyme disease. Chronic pain. I've done PT. Spinal injections. PT. Acupuncture. Prescription Meds. Supplements. Chiropractic. All because taking care of my health and myself is so important to me. Sometimes it feels like setback after setback. They'd all be valid excuses to eat my sorrow, my frustration, my pain and to gain all of that weight back.

But this time around the story I am telling myself is that I am worth the work. That I want to live a healthy lifestyle. To enjoy being active with my family. To grow older and have adventures with my husband. To have enough energy to serve in my community. And at 48 I've come to realize that it wasn't the weight that was holding me back, it was the belief in myself that I could change for good.

You have the power to write a new story.
Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage.

XO,
Tara

Let Your Food Freak Flag Fly

This past year I armed myself with an open mind and a whole lot of curiosity about how food could heal my body. As my neurological pain got worse, my suffering led to desperation and I found myself at a turning point. I could remain angry and sad and continue doing the same things or I could change my mindset and my actions. 

Fortunately, I had already lost and maintained 40+ pounds and had drastically changed what I ate and how I moved my body. Over the past 8 years I have experienced the power of eating whole, healthy foods and the importance of exercise, stress management and meditation/prayer to control my neurological illness with as little prescription meds as possible. 

But then, a major setback. Little did I know it but Lyme disease was attacking my body and wreaking havoc on my muscles and nerves. This is when I started to get curious about what else I could do to heal my body. 

Trigeminal neuraliga (and Lyme) are inflammatory illnesses. I had been following a friends journey where she removed gluten, dairy and soy from her diet to help deal with an inflammatory illness. 

Thanks to "Dr. Google", I stumbled across this video on You Tube talking about gluten sensitivity. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UH_Fr1eO5ME

I was intrigued and wondered if removing gluten could help me to manage my daily joint, muscle and nerve pain. So I ordered Dr. Osbourne's book No Grain No Pain and committed to removing not only grain but dairy and soy from my diet. I was desperate to find a way out of the pain. I committed to trying 30 days of his plan. Hey, we can do anything for 30 days, right?!? Disclaimer, I didn't do phase II of his plan, that was too extreme for me. 

That was 7 months ago and I've been gluten free ever since. I have added bits of dairy/soy back into my diet because I don't think they were the culprits, but going gluten free has been a game changer. I would say that overall removing gluten took my daily pain from 8-9-10 out of 10 to a 2-3 out of 10. I noticed results within 2 weeks. My pain was not only better but other small things started to change. I slept better. I stopped grinding my teeth/clenching my jaw. My skin, especially my cracked feet began to heal. My nerves felt a sense of calm. My facial nerves stopped pulling downward. It's almost like my body gave this big sigh of relief. 

I had no idea that healing my gut could help to remove/reduce my pain. 

https://www.integrativepainscienceinstitute.com/gut-feeling-chronic-pain/

Not shortly after going gluten free and seeing the results did I decide to see a holistic MD to get some direction around my journey. She suspected I had leaky gut and we did micronutrient testing along with a few tests for autoimmune issues and Lyme disease. As it turns out I have Lyme disease and the inflammation was rampant. My nerves were on fire and my cells were a hot mess creating an environment where I was oversensitive to pain and my regular pain triggers become mega triggers. 

I went to a Lyme specialist and began antibiotic and supplement treatment. 

But I'm not here to talk about Lyme, I want to tell you that changing what I ate, even though I was already a healthful eater has made HUGE impact in my healing journey. It wasn't just what I stopped eating, but what I added in. Anti-inflammatory foods such as wild blueberries and cherries plus healthy fats such as flaxseed and walnuts. Learning what to eat has been as important as learning what not to eat. An easy to read nutrition book is Body Love by Kelly Leveque. 

I'm a recovering veggie hater who knows how important they are for my body. So I try my best to hide them in my meals. I'm a picky eater who is determined to continue to try new foods, even if I don't like how they look or smell. Except bone broth *chuckle*. My husband asked me to describe bone broth and I said "it tastes like death and dirt". I just couldn't do it! I also focused on continuing to reduce my sugar and caffeine intake and to stop drinking diet drinks. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is to be willing and open. Willing to try new things and to ask for help. If this journey is something you're considering I'd recommend starting with Dr. Osbourne's plan for 30 days and then going to a holistic MD, integrative practitioner or holistic nutritionist who can guide you. 

Be open to change even when it's hard. Being gluten free takes commitment and planning but it's totally doable. There are tons of GF recipes out there and apps such as Find Me Gluten free which finds GF restaurants near your location. I love me some baked goods and even found a way to baked GF chocolate chips cookies this Christmas that were actually yummy! 

10 years ago I had a work friend who was using food to battle inflammation. She (kindly) offered to walk me around Wegman's to show me what she was eating. In my mind I was a bit judgmental (thinking food freak)...It's funny how being gluten free, or vegan, or vegetarian has come so far yet many people, even in my own family have been judging my journey. You're gonna get the haters...but who cares?!? You have to do what works best for you. 

When I first saw my massage therapist over a year ago my body was so riddled with inflammation that everywhere she touched hurt. And now she says my inflammation is virtually gone! Of course that's also due to my Lyme antibiotics and supplements but I know that changing my eating has been an extremely important part of my journey. I am well on my road to recovery and feeling better than I have in 2 years. I wish the same for you my friends. 

Let your food freak flag fly!

Make a choice. Commit to it and continue with courage. 

XO,

Tara