Fear. It can be exhausting, exhilarating or both. It can push us toward our goals or away from them. It can spring us into action or stop us in our tracks. The kick in the pants? Our brain doesn't know the difference from perceived fear and actual fear. Perceived fear can send our brain into the same fight or flight path as an actual fear driven situation.
As I continue to heal this herniated disk in my neck, I've decided to become curious about pain and learn what I can do differently when I experience it. I just finished the book Why I Hurt by Adrain Louwe. In all my 19 years of having a neurological illness, it's the most game changing and easy to read neuroscience based book about pain I've ever read.
They say that knowledge is power. Knowledge is also freedom. Understanding how the brain responds to pain, or even the fear of pain is helping me to better manage both my injury and my illness.
As a person who is passionate about wellness, it got me thinking about the role fear plays in our weight loss journeys. It's why for several years I got in my own way while trying to lose weight for the gazillionth time.
Change is downright uncomfortable. I prefer to hum along in my nice and cozy comfort zone. What makes me really uncomfortable is unpredictability. That's why it was easier to stay 40 pounds overweight than it was to lose the weight. I knew how to be tired. How to be sad. I knew what it felt like to have no energy. To box myself in. To avoid the hard. To limit myself. And I sat in those feelings like toddler running around in a dirty diaper, uncomfortable yet not quite ready to be changed.
I feared what my new life would look and feel like and what I'd look and feel like (but it feels oh so much better than I ever imagined). I feared losing friends and gaining friends (and both happened). I feared people would judge my efforts or give their two cents along my journey (and they sure did). I feared that I wasn't disciplined enough (turns out it's not so much about discipline as it is consistency). I feared I'd mess up (and of course I did). I feared that I'd lose the weight and gain it back (#reallifehappenssometimes).
These fears are real, but they don't have to stop us from reaching our goals.
The thing about fear is that it's all about perception. If you asked me to hold a snake I'd be terrified (not sure I'd do it by the way) but many reptile lovers do it every day. The snake is scary depending on how we view it. It's the same with weight loss.
We must change our mindset in order to reach our goals. Because if we are afraid, the brain starts sending out S.O.S. signals and we are unintentionally blocking our own process. Our brain goes into self protection mode and will send us back to our old habits because they feel better. The cool thing is that the choice is ours. We get to choose how we see the journey and how we view ourselves along the way. We hold the power.
Once I started viewing my pain in a different way, moving my mindset from victim to victor, I was filled with a sense of peace.
I've been working with an awesome PT to help me to push past my fear of pain. Until I'm willing to push through past it, I won't be able to move forward. I'm realizing that I'm fearing a perceived fear. I'm fearing the "what if" and that's super unproductive (but a natural reaction).
That's why it's important to focus on the day at hand. Not what you looked or felt like in the past. Not how far you've fallen. Nor how far you have to go. Just today. Just the next meal or movement. One healthy choice at a time. Instead of fearing the future we can embrace the unknown.
I am working on saying "God, I'm open to what you put in my path today." Keeping my mind and heart open to change. Replacing the "F word", from "fear" to "faith". Faith in myself. Faith that change is possible. I also want to be grateful for my current circumstance, no matter what phase of life I'm in. Gratitude also brings about peace and reminds me that my life is abundant.
The choice is yours. Make a choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage.
Hugs & friendship,
Tara
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