I’m often asked how I’m able to stay motivated on my
wellness journey. How I’ve managed to maintain my weight loss since 2012. The
answer is simple. I live for the good days. You may have come to this link hoping
for a wellness related post and while my post has nothing to say specifically
about weight loss, it’s about patient endurance. We need patient endurance and
faith to reach our goals.
When I think about all that could go wrong throughout any
given day, it amazes me that we even get out of bed. There’s so much to worry
about. Worry can be defined as “to allow one's mind to dwell on difficulty or
troubles.” (Encyclopedia.com) Even though we have no idea what the day
might bring, if we’re blessed enough to open our eyes on a new day, we wake up
and we carry on.
So that’s what I did yesterday. I had a productive work day
and was doing great with my self care. I ate well and tried a new workout that
I loved PIYO. Things were humming along. I was feeling energized and grateful. As
I started to get dinner ready, I had some pain in my right ear that stopped me
in my tracks. I’ve had trigeminal neuralgia/atypical facial pain since 2001 and
the illness presents itself in less and more severe ways. I know by now that
ear pain means it could possibly be a doozy, so I took some meds right away. I
tried to continue on with my dinner prep but the pains kept coming. And while I
don’t want to spend a lot of time on this post about what trigeminal neuralgia
is- let’s just say that it’s called the Suicide Disease for a reason. The pain
can be relentless and excruciating- like having child birth labor pains in your
head, like continuous lightning bolt strikes that don’t stop. Nothing grabs
your attention like that kind of pain.
I didn’t want to take my heavier meds because they make me
sick, sleepy and in general they slow me down but I ended up taking them
because I wasn’t getting any relief. By this time I’ve now stopped everything I’m
doing and I have the lights off praying that it’s not a serious attack. Usually
my heavier meds kick in within 30-60 minutes but this time, the pain went on
for almost 4 hours until I got relief. When you’re in that kind of pain all you
can do is pray and rest and pray some more. I finally got to sleep and when I
woke up I knew it was a bad pain attack because my face was sore, my eye was sore
and blurry so I had to call off of work to rest. I also had to cancel my part
in a Beachbody Sneak Peek my team was holding this evening. I hate how much
this illness takes from me. How it can turn my life, my plans and other peoples
plans upside down in an instant. How unpredictable it is. How having a positive
attitude is not enough. How praying for mercy is not enough to heal (there is
no cure). It can make a girl downright bitter.
Many with this illness, they just stop living. Because the
fear and worry takes them over. I’ve read about people who become so afraid of
their triggers they become house bound. Our pain triggers are both predictable
and unpredictable- extreme cold, extreme heat, wind, damp weather, noise,
bright lights, talking too much, heck even the hair dryer can be a trigger. So
what’s a girl to do? This is the lot I’ve been given.
Last night I was listening to Joyce Meyer. She equated faith
with sitting on a chair. When we get ready to sit on a chair we don’t wonder if
it’s going to hold our weight, we simply sit. We believe that the chair is going
to hold us. We take the action of sitting. That’s what living in faith is for
me. Every day that I wake up, no matter how many times my body has been beaten
down, I believe that I’m going to be well, and that’s it’s going to be a good
day. It may end up being the crappiest day ever, but what if it doesn’t? What
if I’ve wasted another day that God has given me because I’m afraid? Because I’m
consumed by worry. Because I don’t believe in myself enough to try something
new. What if I’ve wasted another day because I don’t have faith? Because my
chair got a little wobbly and now I’m not sure if it will hold me so I just
keep standing on my own, even though I’m about to fall over in exhaustion.
Joyce talks about living life in the middle. The middle, it’s the hard part and
it can also be the good part. Maybe you’re in the middle of something right
now? You’re in the middle of finishing up a certification or a degree. You’re
in the middle of raising a family. You’re in the middle of cancer treatments.
You’re in the middle of a divorce. You’re in the middle of a weight loss or
wellness journey. You’re in the middle of changing careers. The middle is hard,
because there are days when we just can’t see that there’s an end in sight and
even worse we don’t know how things are going to turn out. This is when we have
to believe that God is faithful. That He is working in advance for our good. We
have to believe that just like a cream filled donut, there is good
stuff in the middle. (Yes I love me some donuts).
Joyce went on to say that “a lot of people never reach their
goals, they never get to their destination, they never see their dreams
fulfilled, they never experience the fulfillment of the promises of God in
their life because they don’t know what to do in the middle. God has provided
wonderful things for you but you have to decide that you are going to have them
and that you are not going to let any person on earth or any devil in hell take
them away from you.”
That good stuff, you have to decide that you are going to
have it and then you need set the wheels in motion to go after it. You have to
do the work. You have to pursue it with all the fire you have within you. And
when you grow weary, when you feel like you’re stuck, lean on that chair a
while. What if you quit and the goal is closer than it seemed? What if you’re
almost there? The only thing worse than giving up is starting over. Keep going
for the good.
Continue with courage.
Hugs and friendship,
Tara
