Win, Lose or Draw

Ok, so don’t freak out…but we are a mere 6 weeks from Turkey Day. Yep, the day that is specifically designed for pajama jeans. I mean, who doesn’t want to wear pajama jeans to Thanksgiving dinner? With their incredibly stretchy waist band, we can certainly eat an extra piece of pumpkin pie, or three.

We are about to head into a blur of holiday activities that leaves our tummies full, our heads spinning and our wallets empty. For many years as a person who struggles with over-indulging, I absolutely dreaded the holiday season. The idea of being surrounded by food, not just food but scrumptious food, was just too much to handle. So here is what I did. Right around this time of year, the week before Halloween, as I began to bust open the Halloween candy bags, I would quit. My thoughts would go something like this “well…I think I’ll take a little break from my healthy eating and I’ll get back on track after the holidays…yeah…that’s what I’ll do…I’ll let myself eat whatever I want and then I’ll be such a good girl come January….in January, I’ll be a saint…a wellness guru…it’s just too hard to stay on track during the holidays…I want to enjoy what I eat…and there are way too many events to stay in control …yeah…January…”

Sound familiar? Every single year, never fail, I stopped my wellness plan in late October and like a big ol’ mama bear…I went into hibernation for a while.

But wait! It doesn’t have to be this way! I don’t mean to scare you, but there are 10 weeks until Christmas. Do you realize that if you stayed on track with your wellness regimen during the holiday season you could lose 5-20 pounds over those 10 weeks? How does that sound to you? Actually losing weight over the holidays? But wait! You have some other options.  

Anyone remember the game show Win, Lose or Draw? OK, I’m dating myself here. When I Googled the words win, lose or draw, I fell in love with one of the Yahoo answers. What does it mean when someone says win, lose or draw? One of the answers was “it means to get on with the contest and accept whatever results may ensue. The only possibilities are win, lose or draw”.

I love that! Why? It has become my approach when faced with the holiday season. For me, tackling the holidays head on is about strategy and choice. You have several choices, and they’re yours to make. You can decide that you want to lose weight during the holidays and stick with your wellness regimen throughout the holiday season. This might look like making mostly healthy food choices, exercising, and maybe indulging a bit on the actual holiday itself. You can choose to maintain at your current weight during the holidays.  Maybe this means for you that you’ll eat a bit more, have some of those dee-lish cocktails, but still exercise and maintain control overall of what you eat and drink. You can decide to allow yourself to gain a bit over the holidays, knowing that you can and will get back on track.

What I love about the definition of win, lose and draw above is the part about accepting whatever results may ensue. Isn’t that what this is all about? Your choice will lead to an action that will lead to a result. The result is purely up to you.

Envision where you want to be in January. Do you want to be thinner? Maintain? Or are you OK with gaining a bit of weight?

Develop a strategy and stick to it.

Feel good about the choices you’re making because YOU are in control.

When you develop a plan and take control, it’s not a win, lose or draw--- it’s a win-win!

Ask for help. Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

My Mother's Eyes

“For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run their fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.
People, more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms.
As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself and the other for helping others.” ― Sam Levenson

With Thanksgiving fast approaching, I cannot help but to give thanks for life. I used to be a little more diligent about this than I am now. For quite some time I kept a gratitude journal next to my bed and every night I added something new. Our daily lives whiz by in a blur and I think it’s extremely important to begin and end each day grounded in just how blessed we are.

As I began to think about gratitude, my mind wrestled with the fact that there is one thing that I continue to struggle to appreciate, my physical appearance. Isn’t it crazy that for most of us, our shape, size, eye color, hair color, skin texture…just isn’t quite enough?

Over the next week, I’d like you to join me in a gratitude exercise. Take out a piece of paper, post-it note, index card- something portable- and write down 3 things that you like about your physical appearance. Yes, 3 things! You can do it! And just to get you started, I’m going to share mine with you.

1) My eyes. A few years ago, when I had my eye exam, my eye doctor mentioned that I have a beautiful circle of gold around my pupils. Her word beautiful, not mine. Now I have certainly never really noticed anything spectacular about my plain ol’ hazel eyes, yet since she’s mentioned it I sometimes find myself glimpsing in the mirror and thinking “how about that? I do have gold around my pupils, that’s pretty special.”  I also very much appreciate that I have my mother’s eyes. My Mom died when I was 11. I don’t have many memories of her, nor do I particularly resemble her. Yet I definitely have my mother’s eyes, and sometimes when I look into them, I can see her looking back at me.

2) My legs. For the longest time, I viewed my legs as two stumps at the end of my torso, certainly nothing to write home about. Yet as I get older, I truly appreciate all of the work my legs do for me every single day without fail. They’ve carried my weight, no matter my size. They allow me to do fun activities like dancing, Zumba and hiking. My legs have helped me to tirelessly run after my kids, to walk in 5K’s to support a friend or to endlessly explore a pumpkin patch until we found THE perfect pumpkin. My legs might be short, but they’re strong and they support me.

3) My hips. Now this is a tough one. For most of my life, I have really despised my hips. It doesn’t matter how much weight I lose, I have wide hips. My Aunt calls them birthing hips, very funny (not). What I’ve found over the years, is that my hips are just right, just as they are. My Gran was a bigger woman, and I  used to love sitting on her lap and sinking into her curves that were made just for a grandchild to fit into. Well, the same goes for these hips of mine. They balance kids and grocery bags like nobody’s business. My kid’s always fit perfectly perched on one of my hips. I am thankful to have a spot that was meant just for them to snuggle into.

So now it’s your turn. Tonight before you go to sleep or tomorrow morning when you wake up, take some time to reflect about what makes you uniquely you. Write it down. Post those words on your desk or your refrigerator; maybe on your car or bathroom mirror. Read the words out loud. 

Believe them. Live them. Give thanks for them.

Be thankful for who are you, you are just as God created you to be.

Ask for help. Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

Portion Patrol

Many who know me wonder how such a picky eater like me was able to lose weight? Admittedly my food palette is quite basic and does not include many vegetables; although I am working to incorporate more vegetables into my diet. Last week I ate chicken vegetable quesadillas and left most of the vegetables inside. I also tried edamame, it was OK and I suppose I “might” eat it the future. And I tried mashed sweet potatoes yet again, I just don’t like the texture. While I am a picky eater, I truly want to choose foods that will fuel my body. Beyond making wise food choices, what has helped me time and time again is controlling my portions. So what’s a girl to do?

Invest in some measuring tools

Take a look at the bowls of cereal below. Bowl #1- is one serving of Cheerios. Bowl-#2- is two servings of Cheerios. By paying attention to the recommended portion size, one cup, and by following that recommendation; you could save yourself 100 calories, just at breakfast. If you follow this strategy throughout the day, imagine the savings. I used to fill my cereal bowl to the rim. Now I measure out one cup of cereal and I have fruit with it.  

Be an educated consumer

Manufacturers have become very slick in the portioning and packing of foods. Most recommended portions of cereals have gone from 1 cup to ¾ cup. If you’re not paying attention to these changes, you are taking in unintended extra calories. Those single serve bags of baked Lays that you think are a good option; there are two servings of chips in those bags. I’m not saying don’t eat the baked Lays, I’m asking you to be aware of what you’re getting in that package and make a choice on how much you want to eat.  That new Dove chocolate bar that looks like it has additional rows of chocolate deliciousness, it’s the same exact calories as the old single row Dove chocolate bar. The new bar is thinner than the old bar- extra rows, thinner bar, calories haven’t changed. As someone who has been tracking the portions of foods for years, I am amazed at the changes in food portioning and packaging. When you are shopping for foods, read the labels and be your be own best advocate.

Thinking about portion control reminds me of the Sponge Bob Hall Monitor episode. When Sponge Bob finally gets the chance to be a Hall Monitor, he decides to be the city monitor instead. He turns the city upside-down looking for this highly dangerous Open Window Maniac. I love this episode because Sponge Bob is chasing this maniac and as it turns out, it’s him.

When it comes to patrolling portions, we can be our own worst enemy. Slow down and pay attention to the amounts and types of foods you are taking in. Make your measuring cups and food scale your new best friend. Read the labels and beware of changes in packing. Take control of what you’re eating and don't let it control you.

Ask for help. Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

Rhinestone Cowgirl

So I was chatting with a friend the other day about our ups and downs of weight loss. We have both lost and gained weight many times over the course of our lives. She asked me “what was different this time for you that made you stick with it?” Well, that is a great question…and while I immediately knew the answer, it made me think about all of the times I’ve started and stopped a wellness program.

As we all know, this isn’t my first time at the rodeo. I’ve fallen off the horse until my bruises had bruises. Over all of the bumpy rides, there are two moments that really stand out to me.

#1- Fear of not living. Overweight and depressed in my early twenties, life was passing me by. I was heavy, anxious, tired and missing out on the joy that life can bring.  My family and friends were paying the price. I was scared to share the shame I was feeling, embarrassed to ask for help. My wake-up call came when I went through a cancer scare.  Not feeling well, I went through a series of tests because my white blood cell count was high. What turned out to be a false cancer alarm became my saving grace. I decided that I was too young to be wasting my life. There is nothing that lights a fire under your ass than the word cancer. That same year, I walked into Weight Watcher’s and dropped 40 pounds.  

 #2- Fear of not living. Wait you say, that was fear #1. Yes and no. A few years ago, I was given the gift of a second chance. I found a way to manage my neuralgia and chronic pain and all of the sudden  joy came back into my life. It was like watching a movie in black and white and all of the sudden it turns to color. And the color is so amazing that you can’t even fully understand and appreciate how incredible it is. I have had some seriously transformational moments in my life, and I can say without a doubt that three years ago, I was born again. I can’t even begin to describe what it feels like when the veil of chronic pain is lifted. It almost felt like I was handicapped and all of the sudden was able to walk again. And from that point on, I just wanted to run. I wanted to run as fast and as hard as I could. I wanted to jump and scream and hoot and holler and carry on because I got my life back.

That’s when I realized I wasn’t living my best life. I started to feel well, but I was not living well. And given this new chance, I wanted to be my best self! So I brushed myself off, re-committed myself to Weight Watcher’s and I dropped the weight. Yet this time around, I gained so much more than I lost, because I set my sights on overall wellness, not just weight loss. I re calibrated my career. I found joy again in serving others. I renewed my commitment to my faith. I revamped my relationships. And I remembered how happy I feel when I am being creative and artistic.  

So here I am- living.   This rhinestone cowgirl climbed back in the saddle and gave it another go. I’m trotting around that ring, all sparkles and smiles. Wait, why did I just picture Honey Boo-Boo in a cowgirl outfit? Let's face it, most days I'm more like the rodeo clown.

Don’t let life pass you by. Your best ride is ahead, just waiting for you to saddle up.

Ask for help. Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

Love is Beautiful

From my toddler years through my early teen years, I lived with my grandparents, Ray and Betty. I could write page upon page about what those years and their love meant to me. They were the glue that held my crazy and uncertain childhood together.

Looks-wise, there was nothing particularly remarkable about my Mom-Mom Betty. She had long wavy salt and pepper hair that she wore in a pony-tail every single day. She was mostly thin with nice curves (for a Mom-Mom). She wore polyester like nobody’s business. Polyester elastic waist pants pulled a little too high and polyester patterned blouses; picture the Mom from That 70’s Show. She wore bobo sneakers. Anyone know what bobo sneakers are? You know- the no-name brand tennis shoes that came from the Five and Dime. Many of her shirts had cigarette burns on them from her ashes left hanging on the end of her cigarette too long.  I always wondered what she was thinking about as she stood there dragging on her cigarette until a piece of ash would float away from the end of the cigarette. Was she imagining a different life? A life where she wasn’t a homemaker who had raised her children only to be raising her grandchild? Was she thinking about what could have been? Beyond teaching Sunday school, living in the country, cleaning people’s houses for a living and taking care of everyone but herself. She laughed but it never seemed to make it into her heart. I wonder if she was truly happy?

Mom-Mom’s beauty routines were brief. She wore bright red lipstick every single day. I loved watching her put it on in the mirror. She didn’t particularly admire herself. She just put it on in a matter of fact way and then went about her day. She also painted on her eyebrows and I found that fascinating. Every night she would take down her pony-tail and brush her hair again and again. I loved seeing her with her hair down. It made me think about what she must have looked like as a young woman. Mom-Mom had hyperextended elbows and knees. Except for her one knee that never recovered properly from an injury. When she stood with her hands on her hips, one leg would bend backwards like an ostrich and the other was slightly crooked.

While there was nothing particularly remarkable about my Mom-Mom Betty; to me, everything was remarkable. She was beautiful because I loved her and she loved me. It’s as simple as that, love is beautiful.  

There’s a song by Johnny Diaz called More Beautiful You and in it he writes “There could never be a more beautiful you. Don’t buy the lies, disguises and hoops they make you jump through. You were made to fill a purpose that only you can do. So there could never be a more beautiful you.”

When I think back now to those moments with my Mom-Mom, I realize what a valuable lesson she taught me about beauty and unconditional love. Because I was loved, I felt beautiful. I didn’t need to be perfect. I didn’t need to fit into a certain sized clothing or societal mold. We didn’t have much money and it didn’t matter. It’s the act of loving and being loved that is beautiful.

I was made to fill a purpose that only I could do. And so are you.

Love being loved. Love giving love. Love accepting love.

Love is beautiful.

Love being you. It’s one of the best gifts you can give to those around you.  

Ask for help. Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara