Complacency Crossroads

Have you ever felt like you were in one of those cartoons where the train is careening out of control because the evil villain has taken over? Well my weight loss train is certainly not careening, but has been chugging along somewhat slowly and seems to be making at stop at Complacency Crossroads.

I have two approaches when it comes to achieving my goals. #1- Hungry Like a Wolf (oh yeah, who loves Duran Duran?)- I’m so hungry to reach my goal that no-one or no-thing will stand in my way. I am in relentless pursuit of my end in mind and will not stop until I achieve it. #2- Close Enough is Good Enough- I am really close to my ideal state and close enough is good enough. For me, both of these options are workable. They require self-awareness and ongoing analysis as well as accepting either path as what is best at that time. What doesn’t work for me is being stuck at Complacency Crossroads.

I am one pound, yes, you read right, ONE pound away from reaching my goal! Easy peazy lemon squeezy right? Wrong? After a week of a good marginal effort of sticking to my eating and exercise, I gained last week. I was so close to goal that I should have had a laser focus on reaching that goal, yet I was dithering around at Complacency Crossroads. Don’t you love that word dithering? My Mom-Mom used to tell me not to dither, I’m not even sure I knew what she meant. Now if she would have said stop dillydallying, I would have totally understood her. ;)

As a lifetime Weight Watcher, I know that I am at a crossroads, and I need to move my train off this track.  Close enough is not good enough for me this time. Sure some will say “a pound is a pound, if you feel great and are healthy, so what?” Well, truth be told, this one pound is actually standing in the way of my becoming a Weight Watcher’s leader. I have my Weight Watcher’s leader application on my goals board, the entire sheet is filled out, except for the reached goal weight line. So in this circumstance,  close enough is not good enough.

So the question becomes, how do I move from Complacency Crossroads to the Can Do Expressway? I loved this street sign. I made my husband stop so I could take a picture of it because I thought to myself, I want to be on the Can Do Expressway every single day. Yes, a street sign actually made me think this. J I want CAN DO to be the way I live my life.

I’m very sure I have the answer to that question within me and that I know how to jump the track to the Can Do Expressway, after all, I’ve done it many times before…so stayed tuned to find out how I change my direction.

Ask for help. Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

Your Time Is Now

Can anyone feel the pain behind my eyes?

Can anyone hear me cry?

Can anyone see my light that begs to shine?

When will it be my time?

I started this poem one evening when I lying in bed having a severe neuralgia attack. I never finished the poem, because the words and the pain were too raw. I recently shared my below progress update photos with some friends and family, and now I share them with you. It’s really interesting how some people commented that that in my earlier photos, I was smiling, but not on the inside.  

I compiled my progress photos because quite frankly there are some days that this messed up head of mine doesn’t sync with my new body. Even though I’ve lost 30 pounds, dropped two clothing sizes and feel better than I have in a long LONG time; when I look in the mirror, sometimes I still see old Tara. I’m really glad I took the progress pictures along the way, because they help me to remember how I felt then and to cherish how I feel now. Like some of my friends and family could see, I had so much pain behind my eyes.

This past year has been far more than a weight loss journey for me. It’s been a true transformation emotionally, physically and spiritually. The first step was being relieved of my chronic pain thanks to acupuncture. That really was the springboard to my good health. Being able to control my pain led me to a new career. I was so shut down from being ill, I would not take any risk as I was terrified it would bring more pain. It wasn’t until I was able to open myself to the possibility of trying something new that I was able to get my current job. Opportunity begins at the end of your comfort zone…right?

Shortly after starting my job, I began eating right, exercising and I started this blog. Yet another risk, baring my soul and sharing my ups and downs with friends AND strangers. What I’ve done, over the past year, with the help of many wonderful and supportive people, is to get my life back.  

It is my wish for you that someone or something will light that spark in you that is begging to shine. That someone or something will push you out of your comfort zone, helping you to see the absolutely incredible things you are capable of doing and being. That someone or something will help you to realize that this is YOUR time.

Ask for help. Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

No Excuses

Is it me or does spring/summertime seem almost busier than the fall holiday season? As soon as May rolls around we are barraged with a ton of social invitations/obligations. Baby and bridal showers, weddings, picnics and BBQ’s, high school and college graduations, retirement parties, golf outings, 5K’s, sports events…need I say more? And whether you’re the host of one of these events or simply a guest, each role brings a wealth of challenges. 

If you're the host, well...forget about it...from the planning and preparation---invitations, shopping, food preparation, home preparation/decoration to hosting the actual event---one word, exhausting! And if you're the guest, you might need to shop for a gift, prepare a meal or travel long distances.

I remember that about this time last year, I was planning my daughter's graduation party, and I was a madwoman on a mission. Being that she was our first high school graduate, I wanted to be sure I did it up right, and it went off without a hitch. It was a really great day. :) But what gave? My weight loss efforts went out the window that week. I mean who on earth has that much time in their day? I'll never forget some advice my older and wiser friend gave me during that time, it went something like "Tara, no-one will care if your house is perfect and clean, or that you planted new flowers, or made the just the right food, they'll just remember being together, laughing and having fun." If only I had heeded that advice a little bit sooner.

What if that week I chose to put my wellness first? What if I carved an hour out of my day to exercise FIRST? What if I took a few extra minutes to prepare some healthy meals FIRST and I let a few things go with my planning and preparation? What if I delegated some of that planning and preparation? Easier said than done, especially for an over-the-top person like me. But here's the deal, there will always ALWAYS be something or someone competing for our attention, especially during this time of year. We can come up with a million and one excuses to not take care of ourselves. "I have too many events this week; I'll start eating right after that". "My son's getting married; I'll get back on track with my exercise after the wedding". "I've just got way too much going on in my life right now."

The word excuse means to seek or obtain exemption or release for oneself. When we make excuses, what we're really going is exempting ourselves from good health. I know that this is a really challenging time of year to take care of you, but if you don't, who will? Don't excuse yourself from good health; you're worth that and so much more!

Ask for help. Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

Perfection Is Overrated

Perfection Is Overrated

Growing up I always heard the saying “practice makes perfect”.  As a recovering perfectionist, I have really come to loathe that saying because I wonder to myself “is perfection the truly end goal?” What if we said something like “practice makes better?” Would getting better at something be enough?

Perfectionism in the realm of eating habits can lead to frustration and disappointment. It seems like every day, either in person, on Facebook or television, I see people who put severe restrictions on their eating habits. I’m giving up wine. This week, I’m cutting out sugar. No carbs for two days. For the next ten days, no coffee.  And last but not least, no more chocolate.

And while limiting what you eat can be a good thing, an all or nothing attitude sets you up for potential failure. When you don’t eat something, what do you want? That thing you’re not eating. You say to yourself, I’m giving up ice cream. And all of the sudden ice cream seems to be everywhere and you want it soooo bad. And then what happens? You cave and eat the whole container.

What if instead of saying “I’m giving up ice cream” you said something more like “it’s important to take care of myself without feeling deprived. So this week, I’ll allow myself to have one serving of ice cream”. Now some of you are thinking, OK Tara, let’s get real here, I just can’t have that kind of stuff in my house or I’ll eat it…understood. How about ordering yourself a kid-sized scoop of ice cream as a special treat?

My point is, instead of being perfect, how about being better? Instead of deprivation, how about trying moderation? Moderating what you eat is far more maintainable for a lifetime than deprivation. When you feel deprived, you always seem to want more. You think about that forbidden food, you long for it and you get annoyed with those skinny little people who can eat whatever they want, whenever they want. You become cranky, resentful, frustrated and sometimes you just call it quits.

Think about one small change in your eating you can make this week. Maybe it’s that latte you grab each day in the drive through? Or swapping out something fried for something baked or broiled? Maybe it’s eating only ½ a candy bar or downsizing from the family sized candy bar to a smaller one? Or enjoying the natural sweetness of fruit instead of adding sugar? Maybe instead of eating pizza out every Friday night you figure out a way to make a healthier version at home? Or you swap out a bottled water for that second drink at happy hour? There are endless small changes you can make to your eating habits that can be sustainable for the long haul. After you’ve made one small change and sustained it, make another. And as I’ve said before, all of these small changes will lead to big results.

Trust me, perfection IS overrated. Practice DOES make better. Once you change a habit and repeat it over and over, you will feel so much better!

Ask for help. Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

Keeping My Eye on the Prize

So usually, when it comes to my weight loss journey (and life in general), I have these three P’s to live by- patience, perseverance and persistence. But this week my three P’s happened to be poptart, poptart and a peanut butter tandycake. Yep, that’s what I said, poptart, poptart and a peanut butter tandycake, all consumed in one night after I had a stellar day of eating.  For those of you that are on Weight Watcher’s, that’s a 17 point snack. *grimace*

Here’s how it went down. My hubby and son were at baseball practice and I was home alone with the three P’s. Now usually the three P’s don’t taunt me, they are always in my pantry, but that night, they were a callin’ my name and let’s just say I answered the call.

And let me tell you, I felt miserable afterward. Absolutely miserable. And those nasty little Gremlins that I’ve blogged about starting coming out. “What on earth is the matter with you?” “Do you have any ounce of self-control?” “How could you sabotage your whole day of healthy eating?” “Well that totally defeated your exercise earlier in the day.” “You’re a failure.” “Just give up”. Do those Gremlin voices sound familiar to you?

But this time, I’ve got my eye on the prize-overall wellness-long term good health and in spite of those three P’s, I feel great!  Thanks to 15 years of being on Weight Watcher’s, I know that this is a lifetime of change. And guess what folks, a lifetime is a long time (hopefully so). Don’t fool yourself into thinking that somewhere along the way you won’t mess up. The point is, don’t give up. That’s where the real three P’s come into play- patience, perseverance and persistence. Be patient with yourself, you’re only human. Be patient with the process. Persevere!  This journey might take a while. Trust me, the end result will be worth it. Be persistent. Keep your eye on the prize. Make your plan and stick with it, even when it seems impossible to do so.

Have you tried something new this week and it didn’t go quite as expected? Have you started a goal and stopped in the middle? Have you failed so many times you don’t even want to try again?

Do not give up. The path may be curvy, hilly, tiresome and downright unpredictable sometimes, but it leads to someplace amazing. It’s worth it and so are you!

Ask for help. Make the choice. Commit to the choice. Continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara