Space and Grace

Well, it’s been a while since I’ve had a moment to even pee, let alone blog. The past few weeks have gone by in a blur. If anyone told me 18 years ago, when I was a bleary-eyed new and inexperienced mother, that every season would bring a different challenge, I probably would have smacked them. During that time, I was exhausted, unsure of myself, my parenting abilities and my overall dealing with life skills. I was pretty sure that I was the only one in my boat, that my boat was going faster and was in rougher waters than anyone else’s and it was about to go over the waterfall.

Through the years, our boat has hit some scary unchartered territories- most notably the teenage years. I can hardly believe that just a few weeks ago, our daughter graduated from high school. Remember that lovely little book that everyone read called “What to Expect When You're Expecting?” We propped the book on our preggo bellies, pouring over the instructional chapters, dreaming of our perfect babies. Well…no-one told us that one day that baby would turn into a teenager, no book can ever prepare you for that. J

And now, our teenager is an adult. Mother of Pearl, when DID this happen? It seems like it happened over night.   

Perspective is a funny thing isn’t it? Back when our daughter was young, I felt like our lives were so busy and overwhelming. I was exhausted, unsure of myself, my parenting abilities and my overall dealing with life skills. And now, 18 years later- some days I’m still exhausted, unsure of myself, my parenting abilities and my overall dealing with life skills. J

The past month has felt like I’m on a Merry-go-round and the only way I’m getting off is if the ride breaks. I’m quite sure we’re busier than ev-er. We have two active and involved kids- pardon me- one kid and one adult. With the events leading up to graduation- awards ceremonies, invites, photos, house cleaning, party planning, not to mention the fact that tournament baseball seems to be taking over our lives. And oh yeah we just got back from Toledo for gymnastics nationals.

I haven’t had much time to take care of my body. I’ve tried my best to eat the right foods and get exercise in whenever I can but if it doesn’t happen right now, I will lean on two of the greatest lessons I’ve learned as a parent- space and grace.  As far as weight loss goes, I’ve pressed the pause button. Not the quit button, not the forget button, but the hold button. And until I can make the time to resume my weight loss journey, I will allow myself the space and grace to stay exactly where I am.

Just as I thought my boat was about to careen over the waterfall, I dropped anchor.  Time to re-assess my journey.

No matter where you are in your life journey, in calm waters or in the toughest storm of your life- take the time to accept where you are as God maps out a new plan and soon you’ll realize that you are exactly where you are supposed to be. Make the best of this season.

Every season will bring a new set of challenges- it’s called life. It’s how you live that life it that makes the difference.   

Make the choice, commit to the choice and continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara

Stop Fighting, Start Living

Over the past few weeks, I have been reminded of the precious gift of good health. I haven’t been feeling very swell. As some of you know, I have a neurological illness called trigeminal neuralgia-atypical facial pain. This illness, which for me is primarily triggered by extremes of weather (cold, heat) and stress, causes incapacitating lightning bolt pains in my head. In some medical journals, it is called “the most painful affliction to man”. I’ve had the illness since 2002. Most people that meet me wouldn’t even know I have it. But those who are close to me know just how much it impacts my everyday living. During the winter and summer months, I am stuck inside. I have to think about everything I do outside of the house and be strategic about my exposure to the weather. If I don’t, I will end up in bed in severe pain and medicated for one or more days.  

Last year was my worst year with the illness. I tried some heavy medications- nerve blockers that made me sicker than the pain relief was worth. During a low point, I was crying in my neurologist’s office that I just couldn’t take it anymore. My doctor said to me “stop fighting this illness and accept it. Start living with your illness”. Eureka! Stop fighting…start living! Stop fighting…start living! Brilliant! Live YOUR life!

Mentally, that was a turning point for me- because chronic illness can wear you out and be downright depressing. Whenever I don’t feel good, I eat. During bouts of neuralgia, I would lie in bed (because I couldn’t move my head), with a bag of Hershey kisses. It makes you really sad when you can’t go to your kid’s sports, pick out a Christmas tree, or go to a family picnic- because the weather (hot or cold) makes you sick. And you miss out on life.

What’s eating you right now so badly that you’re missing out on life? Illness? Depression? Anxiety? Tensions at home? At work? Trouble with your kids? Finances? Death?

I’m here to ask you---DO NOT let the pain take control of your life. You (and God) have the steering wheel. YOU, control your attitudes, your behaviors, your reactions and beliefs. YOU control how you choose to live your life.

This past year, I made the mental shift to take my life back. And let me tell you…when you’re feeling like you cannot go on anymore, and you have no idea where you will get the strength to face another day- you will dig deep and keep on keepin’ on.

It’s really hard to keep on keepin’ on when you’re ill, depressed, anxious, stressed at home or at work, struggling your finances or mourning the loss of a loved one.

But remember, there is a light inside of you called hope. And this hope will give you the courage, strength and perseverance to tackle whatever life brings- head on.

Make the choice, commit to the choice and continue with courage.

Hugs and friendship,

Tara